the surprising adventures of baron munchausen- 第24部分

Some　time　after　I　ordered　the　following　proclamation　to　be　published　in　the　Court　Gazette；　and　in　all　the　other　papers　of　the　empire：

　　BY　THE　MOST　MIGHTY　AND　PUISSANT　LORD；　　　HIS　EXCELLENCY　THE　　　LORD　BARON　MUNCHAUSEN。

　　Whereas　a　quantity　of　fudge　has　been　distributed　through　all　the　　　granaries　of　the　empire　for　particular　uses；　and　as　the　natives　　　have　ever　expressed　their　aversion　to　all　manner　of　European　　　eatables；　it　is　hereby　strictly　forbidden；　under　pain　of　the　　　severest　penalties；　for　any　of　the　officers　charged　with　the　　　keeping　of　the　said　fudge　to　give；　sell；　or　suffer　to　be　sold；　any　　　part　or　quantity　whatever　of　the　said　material；　until　it　be　　　agreeable　unto　our　good　will　and　pleasure。

　　Dated　in　our　Castle　of　Gristariska　　　　　this　Triskill　of　the　month　of　　　　　Griskish；　in　the　year　Moulikasra…　　　　　navas…kashna…vildash。

This　proclamation　excited　the　most　ardent　curiosity　all　over　the　empire。　〃Do　you　know　what　this　fudge　is？〃　said　Lady　Mooshilgarousti　to　Lord　Darnarlaganl。　〃Fudge！〃　said　he；　〃Fudge！　no：　what　fudge？〃　〃I　mean；〃　replied　her　Ladyship；　〃the　enormous　quantity　of　fudge　that　has　been　distributed　under　guards　in　all　the　strong　places　in　the　empire；　and　which　is　strictly　forbidden　to　be　sold　or　given　to　any　of　the　natives　under　the　severest　penalties。〃　〃Lord！〃　replied　he；　〃what　in　the　name　of　wonder　can　it　be？　Forbidden！　why　it　must；　but　pray　do　you；　Lady　Fashashash；　do　you　know　what　this　fudge　is？　Do　you；　Lord　Trastillauex？　or　you；　Miss　Gristilarkask？　What！　nobody　know　what　this　fudge　can　be？〃

It　engrossed　for　several　days　the　chit…chat　of　the　whole　empire。　Fudge；　fudge；　fudge；　resounded　in　all　companies　and　in　all　places；　from　the　rising　until　the　setting　of　the　sun；　and　even　at　night；　when　gentle　sleep　refreshed　the　rest　of　mortals；　the　ladies　of　all　that　country　were　dreaming　of　fudge！

〃Upon　my　honour；〃　said　Kitty；　as　she　was　adjusting　her　modesty　piece　before　the　glass；　just　after　getting　out　of　bed；　〃there　is　scarce　anything　I　would　not　give　to　know　what　this　fudge　can　be。〃　〃La！　my　dear；〃　replied　Miss　Killnariska；　〃I　have　been　dreaming　the　whole　night　of　nothing　but　fudge；　I　thought　my　lover　kissed　my　hand；　and　pressed　it　to　his　bosom；　while　I；　frowning；　endeavoured　to　wrest　it　from　him：　that　he　kneeled　at　my　feet。　No；　never；　never　will　I　look　at　you；　cried　I；　till　you　tell　me　what　this　fudge　can　be；　or　get　me　some　of　it。　Begone！　cried　I；　with　all　the　dignity　of　offended　beauty；　majesty；　and　a　tragic　queen。　Begone！　never　see　me　more；　or　bring　me　this　delicious　fudge。　He　swore；　on　the　honour　of　a　knight；　that　he　would　wander　o'er　the　world；　encounter　every　danger；　perish　in　the　attempt；　or　satisfy　the　angel　of　his　soul。〃

The　chiefs　and　nobility　of　the　nation；　when　they　met　together　to　drink　their　kava；　spoke　of　nothing　but　fudge。　Men；　women；　and　children　all；　all　talked　of　nothing　but　fudge。　'Twas　a　fury　of　curiosity；　one　general　ferment；　and　universal　fevernothing　but　fudge　could　allay　it。

But　in　one　respect　they　all　agreed；　that　government　must　have　had　some　interested　view；　in　giving　such　positive　orders　to　preserve　it；　and　keep　it　from　the　natives　of　the　country。　Petitions　were　addressed　to　me　from　all　quarters；　from　every　corporation　and　body　of　men　in　the　whole　empire。　The　majority　of　the　people　instructed　their　constituents；　and　the　parliament　presented　a　petition；　praying　that　I　would　be　pleased　to　take　the　state　of　the　nation　under　consideration；　and　give　orders　to　satisfy　the　people；　or　the　most　dreadful　consequences　were　to　be　apprehended。　To　these　requests；　at　the　entreaty　of　my　council；　I　made　no　reply；　or　at　best　but　unsatisfactory　answers。　Curiosity　was　on　the　rack；　they　forgot　to　lampoon　the　government；　so　engaged　were　they　about　the　fudge。　The　great　assembly　of　the　states　could　think　of　nothing　else。　Instead　of　enacting　laws　for　the　regulation　of　the　people；　instead　of　consulting　what　should　seem　most　wise；　most　excellent；　they　could　think；　talk；　and　harangue　of　nothing　but　fudge。　In　vain　did　the　Speaker　call　to　order；　the　more　checks　they　got　the　more　extravagant　and　inquisitive　they　were。

In　short；　the　populace　in　many　places　rose　in　the　most　outrageous　and　tumultuous　manner；　forced　open　the　granaries　in　all　places　in　one　day；　and　triumphantly　distributed　the　fudge　through　the　whole　empire。

Whether　on　account　of　the　longing；　the　great　curiosity；　imagination；　or　the　disposition　of　the　people；　I　cannot　saybut　they　found　it　infinitely　to　their　taste；　'twas　intoxication　of　joy；　satisfaction；　and　applause。

Finding　how　much　they　liked　this　fudge；　I　procured　another　quantity　from　England；　much　greater　than　the　former；　and　cautiously　bestowed　it　over　all　the　kingdom。　Thus　were　the　affections　of　the　people　regained；　and　they；　from　hence；　began　to　venerate；　applaud；　and　admire　my　government　more　than　ever。　The　following　ode　was　performed　at　the　castle；　in　the　most　superb　style；　and　universally　admired：


　　ODE。

　　Ye　bulls　and　crickets；　and　Gog；　Magog；　　　And　trump'ts　high　chiming　anthrophog；　　　Come　sing　blithe　choral　all　in　/og/；　　　Caralog；　basilog；　fog；　and　bog！

　　Great　and　superb　appears　thy　cap　sublime；　　　　　Admired　and　worshipp'd　as　the　rising　sun；　　　Solemn；　majestic；　wise；　like　hoary　Time；　　　　　And　fam'd　alike　for　virtue；　sense；　and　fun。

　　Then　swell　the　noble　strain　with　song；　　　　　And　elegance　divine；　　　While　goddesses　around　shall　throng；　　　　　And　all　the　muses　nine。

　　And　bulls；　and　crickets；　and　Gog；　Magog；　　　And　trumpets　chiming　anthrophog；　　　Shall　sing　blithe　choral　all　in　/og/；　　　Caralog；　basilog；　fog；　and　bog！

This　piece　of　poetry　was　much　applauded；　admired；　and　/encored/　in　every　public　assembly；　celebrated　as　an　astonishing　effort　of　genius；　and　the　music；　composed　by　Minheer　Gastrashbark　Gkrghhbarwskhk；　was　thought　equal　to　the　sense！Never　was　there　anything　so　universally　admired；　the　summit　of　the　most　exquisite　wit；　the　keenest　praise；　the　most　excellent　music。

〃Upon　my　honour；　and　the　faith　I　owe　my　love；〃　said　I；　〃music　may　be　talked　of　in　England；　but　to　possess　the　very　soul　of　harmony　the　world　should　come　to　the　performance　of　this　ode。〃　Lady　Fragrantia　was　at　that　moment　drumming　with　her　fingers　on　the　edge　of　her　fan；　lost　in　a　reverie；　thinking　she　was　playing　upon　Was　it　a　forte　piano？

〃No；　my　dear　Fragrantia；〃　said　I；　tenderly　taking　her　in　my　arms　while　she　melted　into　tears；　〃never；　never；　will　I　play　upon　any　other！〃

Oh！　'twas　divine；　to　see　her　like　a　summer's　morning；　all　blushing　and　full　of　dew！



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAPTER　XXVIII

　　/The　Baron　sets　all　the　people　of　the　empire　to　work　to　build　a　　　bridge　from　their　country　to　Great　BritainHis　contrivance　to　　　render　the　arch　secureOrders　an　inscription　to　be　engraved　on　　　the　bridgeReturns　with　all　his　company；　chariot；　etc。；　to　　　EnglandSurveys　the　kingdoms　and　nations　under　him　from　the　　　middle　of　the　bridge。/

〃And　now；　most　noble　Baron；〃　said　the　illustrious　Hilaro　Frosticos；　〃now　is　the　time　to　make　this　people　proceed　in　any　business　that　we　find　convenient。　Take　them　at　this　present　ferment　of　the　mind；　let　them　not　think；　but　at　once　set　them　to　work。〃　In　short；　the　whole　nation　went　heartily　to　the　business；　to　build　an　edifice　such　as　was　never　seen　in　any　other　country。　I　took　care　to　supply　them　with　their　favourite　kava　and　fudge；　and　they　worked　like　horses。　The　tower　of　Babylon；　which；　according　to　Hermogastricus；　was　seven　miles　high；　or　the　Chinese　wall；　was　a　mere　trifle；　in　comparison　to　this　stupendous　edifice；　which　was　completed　in　a　very　short　space　of　time。

It　was　of　an　immense　height；　far　beyond　anything　that　ever　had　been　before　erected；　and　of　such　gentle　ascent；　that　a　regiment　of　cavalry　with　a　train　of　cannon　could　ascend　with　perfect　ease　and　facility。　It　seemed　like　a　rainbow　in　the　heavens；　the　base　of　which　appeared　to　rise　in　the　centre　of　Africa；　and　the　other　extremity　seemed　to　stoop　into　great　Britain。　A　most　noble　bridge　indeed；　and　a　piece　of　masonry　that　has　outdone　Sir　Christopher　Wren。　Wonderful　must　it　have　been　to　form　so　tremendous　an　arch；　especially　as　the　artists　had　certain　difficulties　to　labour　against　which　they　could　not　have　in　the　formation　of　any　other　arch　in　the　worldI　mean；　the　attraction　of　the　moon　and　planets：　Because　the　arch　was　of　so　great　a　height；　and　in　some　parts　so　elongated　from　the　earth；　as　in　a　great　measure　to　diminish　in　its　gravitation　to　the　centre　of　our　globe；　or　rather；　seemed　more　easily　operated　upon　by　the　attraction　of　the　planets：　So　that　the　stones　of　the　arch；　one　would　think；　at　certain　times；　were　ready　to　fall　/up/　to　the　moon；　and　at　other　times　to　fall　down　to　the　earth。　But　as　the　former　was　more　to　be　dreaded；　I　secured　stability　to　the　fabric　by　a　very　curious　contrivance：　I　ordered　the　architects　to　get　the　heads　of　some　hundred　numbskulls　and　blockheads；　and　fix　them　to　the　interior　surface　of　the　arch；　at　certain　intervals；　all　the　whole　length；　by　which　means　the　arch　was　held　together　firm；　and　its　inclination　to　the　earth　eternally　established；　because　of　all　the　things　in　the　world；　the　skulls　of　these　kind　of　animals　have　a　strange　facility　of　tending　to　the　centre　of　the　earth。

The　building　being　completed；　I　caused　an　inscription　to　be　engraved　in　the　most　magnificent　style　upon　the　summit　of　the　arch；　in　letters　so　great　and　luminous；　that　all　vessels　sailing　to　the　East　or　West　Indies　might　read　them　distinct　in　the　heavens；　like　the　motto　of　Constantine。

　　KARDOL　BAGARLAN　KAI　TON　FARINGO　SARGAI　RA　　　MO　PASHROL　VATINEAC　CAL　COLNITOS　RO　NA　FILNAT　　　AGASTRA　SA　DINGANNAL　FANO。

That　is　to　say；　〃As　long　as　this　arch　and　bond　of　union　shall　exist；　so　long　shall　the　people　be　happy。　Nor　can　all　the　power　of　the　world　affect　them；　unless　the　moon；　advancing　from　her　usual　sphere；　should　so　much　attract　the　skulls　as　to　cause　a　sudden　elevation；　on　which　the　whole　will　fall　into　the　most　horrible　confusion。〃

An　easy　intercourse　being　thus　established　between　Great　Britain　and　the　centre　of　Africa；　numbers　travelled　continually　to　and　from　both　countries；　and　at　my　request　mail　coaches　were　ordered　to　run　on　the　bridge　between　both　empires。　After　some　time；　having　settled　the　government　to　my　satisfaction；　I　requested　permiss