would play false on the haunting side； so surely as he got an
opportunity。 The Odd Girl's case was exactly similar。 She went
about the house in a state of real terror； and yet lied monstrously
and wilfully； and invented many of the alarms she spread； and made
many of the sounds we heard。 I had had my eye on the two； and I
know it。 It is not necessary for me； here； to account for this
preposterous state of mind； I content myself with remarking that it
is familiarly known to every intelligent man who has had fair
medical； legal； or other watchful experience； that it is as well
established and as common a state of mind as any with which
observers are acquainted； and that it is one of the first elements；
above all others； rationally to be suspected in； and strictly
looked for； and separated from； any question of this kind。
To return to our party。 The first thing we did when we were all
assembled； was； to draw lots for bedrooms。 That done； and every
bedroom； and； indeed； the whole house； having been minutely
examined by the whole body； we allotted the various household
duties； as if we had been on a gipsy party； or a yachting party； or
a hunting party； or were shipwrecked。 I then recounted the
floating rumors concerning the hooded lady； the owl； and Master B。：
with others； still more filmy； which had floated about during our
occupation； relative to some ridiculous old ghost of the female
gender who went up and down； carrying the ghost of a round table；
and also to an impalpable Jackass； whom nobody was ever able to
catch。 Some of these ideas I really believe our people below had
communicated to one another in some diseased way； without conveying
them in words。 We then gravely called one another to witness； that
we were not there to be deceived； or to deceivewhich we
considered pretty much the same thingand that； with a serious
sense of responsibility； we would be strictly true to one another；
and would strictly follow out the truth。 The understanding was
established； that any one who heard unusual noises in the night；
and who wished to trace them； should knock at my door； lastly； that
on Twelfth Night； the last night of holy Christmas； all our
individual experiences since that then present hour of our coming
together in the haunted house； should be brought to light for the
good of all； and that we would hold our peace on the subject till
then； unless on some remarkable provocation to break silence。
We were； in number and in character； as follows：
Firstto get my sister and myself out of the waythere were we
two。 In the drawing of lots； my sister drew her own room； and I
drew Master B。's。 Next； there was our first cousin John Herschel；
so called after the great astronomer： than whom I suppose a better
man at a telescope does not breathe。 With him； was his wife： a
charming creature to whom he had been married in the previous
spring。 I thought it （under the circumstances） rather imprudent to
bring her； because there is no knowing what even a false alarm may
do at such a time； but I suppose he knew his own business best； and
I must say that if she had been MY wife； I never could have left
her endearing and bright face behind。 They drew the Clock Room。
Alfred Starling； an uncommonly agreeable young fellow of eight…and…
twenty for whom I have the greatest liking； was in the Double Room；
mine； usually； and designated by that name from having a dressing…
room within it； with two large and cumbersome windows； which no
wedges I was ever able to make； would keep from shaking； in any
weather； wind or no wind。 Alfred is a young fellow who pretends to
be 〃fast〃 （another word for loose； as I understand the term）； but
who is much too good and sensible for that nonsense； and who would
have distinguished himself before now； if his father had not
unfortunately left him a small independence of two hundred a year；
on the strength of which his only occupation in life has been to
spend six。 I am in hopes； however； that his Banker may break； or
that he may enter into some speculation guaranteed to pay twenty
per cent。； for； I am convinced that if he could only be ruined； his
fortune is made。 Belinda Bates； bosom friend of my sister； and a
most intellectual； amiable； and delightful girl； got the Picture
Room。 She has a fine genius for poetry； combined with real
business earnestness； and 〃goes in〃to use an expression of
Alfred'sfor Woman's mission； Woman's rights； Woman's wrongs； and
everything that is woman's with a capital W； or is not and ought to
be； or is and ought not to be。 〃Most praiseworthy； my dear； and
Heaven prosper you！〃 I whispered to her on the first night of my
taking leave of her at the Picture…Room door； 〃but don't overdo it。
And in respect of the great necessity there is； my darling； for
more employments being within the reach of Woman than our
civilisation has as yet assigned to her； don't fly at the
unfortunate men； even those men who are at first sight in your way；
as if they were the natural oppressors of your sex； for； trust me；
Belinda； they do sometimes spend their wages among wives and
daughters； sisters； mothers； aunts； and grandmothers； and the play
is； really； not ALL Wolf and Red Riding…Hood； but has other parts
in it。〃 However； I digress。
Belinda； as I have mentioned； occupied the Picture Room。 We had
but three other chambers： the Corner Room； the Cupboard Room； and
the Garden Room。 My old friend； Jack Governor； 〃slung his
hammock；〃 as he called it； in the Corner Room。 I have always
regarded Jack as the finest…looking sailor that ever sailed。 He is
gray now； but as handsome as he was a quarter of a century ago
nay； handsomer。 A portly； cheery； well…built figure of a broad…
shouldered man； with a frank smile； a brilliant dark eye； and a
rich dark eyebrow。 I remember those under darker hair； and they
look all the better for their silver setting。 He has been wherever
his Union namesake flies； has Jack； and I have met old shipmates of
his； away in the Mediterranean and on the other side of the
Atlantic； who have beamed and brightened at the casual mention of
his name； and have cried； 〃You know Jack Governor？ Then you know a
prince of men！〃 That he is！ And so unmistakably a naval officer；
that if you were to meet him coming out of an Esquimaux snow…hut in
seal's skin； you would be vaguely persuaded he was in full naval
uniform。
Jack once had that bright clear eye of his on my sister； but； it
fell out that he married another lady and took her to South
America； where she died。 This was a dozen years ago or more。 He
brought down with him to our haunted house a little cask of salt
beef； for； he is always convinced that all salt beef not of his own
pickling； is mere carrion； and invariably； when he goes to London；
packs a piece in his portmanteau。 He had also volunteered to bring
with him one 〃Nat Beaver；〃 an old comrade of his； captain of a
merchantman。 Mr。 Beaver； with a thick…set wooden face and figure；
and apparently as hard as a block all over； proved to be an
intelligent man； with a world of watery experiences in him； and
great practical knowledge。 At times； there was a curious
nervousness about him； apparently the lingering result of some old
illness； but； it seldom lasted many minutes。 He got the Cupboard
Room； and lay there next to Mr。 Undery； my friend and solicitor：
who came down； in an amateur capacity； 〃to go through with it；〃 as
he said； and who plays whist better than the whole Law List； from
the red cover at the beginning to the red cover at the end。
I never was happier in my life； and I believe it was the universal
feeling among us。 Jack Governor； always a man of wonderful
resources； was Chief Cook； and made some of the best dishes I ever
ate； including unapproachable curries。 My sister was pastry cook
and confectioner。 Starling and I were Cook's Mate； turn and turn
about； and on special occasions the chief cook 〃pressed〃 Mr。
Beaver。 We had a great deal of outdoor sport and exercise； but
nothing was neglected within； and there was no ill…humor or
misunderstanding among us； and our evenings were so delightful that
we had at least one good reason for being reluctant to go to bed。
We had a few night alarms in the beginning。 On the first night； I
was knocked up by Jack with a most wonderful ship's lantern in his
hand； like the gills of some monster of the deep； who informed me
that he 〃was going aloft to the main truck；〃 to have the
weathercock down。 It was a stormy night and I remonstrated； but
Jack called my attention to its making a sound like a cry of
despair； and said somebody would be 〃hailing a ghost〃 presently； if
it wasn't done。 So； up to the top of the house； where I could
hardly stand for the wind； we went； accompanied by Mr。 Beaver； and
there Jack； lantern and all； with Mr。 Beaver after him； swarmed up
to the top of a cupola； some two dozen feet above the chimneys； and
stood upon nothing particular； coolly knocking the weathercock off；
until they both got into such good spirits with the wind and the
height； that I thought they would never come down。 Another night；
they turned out again； and had a chimney…cowl off。 Another night；
they cut a sobbing and gulping water…pipe away。 Another night；
they found out something else。 On several occasions； they both； in
the coolest manner； simultaneously dropped out of their respective
bedroom windows； hand over hand by their counterpanes； to
〃overhaul〃 something mysterious in the garden。
The engagement among us was faithfully kept； and nobody revealed
anything。 All we knew was； if any one's room were haunted； no one
looked the worse for it。
The foregoing story is particularly interesting as illustrating the
leaning of Dickens's mind toward the spiritualistic and mystical
fancies current in his time； and the counterbalance of his common
sense and fun。
〃He probably never made up his own mind；〃 Mr。 Andrew Lang declares
in a discussion of this Haunted House story。 Mr。 Lang says he once
took part in a similar quest； and 〃can recognize the accuracy of
most of Dickens's remarks。 Indeed； even to persons not on the
level of the Odd Girl in education； the temptation to pr