his consciousness involved in his anticipation of going to bed with her later
that night。 He is bodily with her； but a large part of his consciousness is
drained away by his preoccupation with the future。 If the person he is with is
perceptive （and not caught in the same game）； she will be aware that there is
something lacking in the vividness and oneness of their here…and…now
interactions。
Let us suppose his plan works out； and they are now in bed kissing each
other。 The man’s consciousness （if he has not learned how to be in the here
and now） will not be totally enjoying the experience of kissing。 He will be
anticipating the next step when perhaps his hands will be caressing here
breasts。 Once he is caressing her breasts； he is very likely to miss the
“enoughness” and delightfulness of that experience。 He will be anticipating
how nice it will be when his hands begin to explore yet more intimate regions
that await him below her hips。 And then when he is next touching and feeling
her labial and vaginal areas； he will still not be here now。 He will still be
unable to savor and pletely appreciate the nowness of the experience。
His consciousness will then leap forward to anticipate how nice it will be
when his penis is inside of her。 And even after that happens； he may still not
be in the here and now！ He will be anticipating the moments of climax。 It is
only when he finally reaches orgasm that he will be pletely here now。 For
the moments of orgasm are so consciousness…dominating that he will probably
not be able to place his consciousness anywhere else。 It is one of the few
times in his life when he can experience being pletely in the here and
now！
When your consciousness is dominated by your desire for the intense
sensations of sex； you will be depriving yourself of a large part of the beauty
and loveliness that will be yours when you can enjoy sex at the Fourth Center
of Consciousness。 When your consciousness is operating at the Fourth Level；
you will begin to enjoy every second as a fulfilling whole in itself。 Whatever
happens as the flow of love unfolds is enough。 Your mind is not concerned
with what will be happening a few seconds or a few minutes from now。
Hence； it is not grasping。 It is not manipulating。 It is not striving。 It is not
paring。 It is not trying to make anything happen。 It is just flowing
pletely with your feelings and the feelings of your partner and the
nowness of the environment around you。
If you would like to know whether your consciousness is dominated by sex；
you might apply the following test。 You can probably do this in your head。
Supposed you have been in bed with your partner for a half…hour and are
getting near the point where intercourse may begin。 Then suppose your best
friend knocks on the door。 He has a serious problem and it is urgent that he
see you immediately。 Can you without disappointment without any
grasping at the previous experience let your consciousness flow to this new
here…and…now situation in your life？ Can you turn to this new situation
without irritability； anger； or disappointment of any sort？ Can you rechannel
that energy that was created by lovemaking into helping your friend？ If your
consciousness can flow from one here…and…now experience to the next hereand…
now experience； you are peacefully and beautifully flowing in the river of
your life。
An individual who is hung up on the second level of consciousness will
irritate himself； his sexual partner； and his friend in the situation described
above。 Once he has talked with his friend and done whatever is necessary；
his consciousness will still be clouded by resentment toward what he
perceives as an intrusion。 When he then returns to be with his lover； his
consciousness will be preoccupied with the immediate past。 Instead of
flowingly enjoying the here and now when uninterrupted sex is possible； his
preoccupation with the past may keep him from doing that which he most
wants to do！
An individual who is hung up on the second level of consciousness can never
live pletely in the here and now。 For example； a woman who is addicted
at the second level will scan everyone she sees as a sexual partner。 Her
response to all of the beautiful individuals who flow into her life will be
limited by her analysis of whether this person would fit the pattern in her head
that she has for an exciting bed partner。 Instead of reacting to the whole
person in front of her； she is only tuning in to a very small slice of what is
available。 She is depriving herself of the broad spectrum that life is offering
her。 She is disregarding the Second Pathway by creating an illusory version
of the people around her。 It is the opposite of the openness which brings the
miracle of “enoughness” into one’s life。
A person whose consciousness is dominated by sex may be led to purchase
automobiles； homes； clothes； boats； and most of the things in his or her life on
a basis of their supposed contribution to future sexual experiences。 The
things purchased may be too costly； not wear well； or may have many other
disadvantages。 If they are too expensive； they will put a person in debt or
cause him to focus more of his consciousness on earning money。 This has the
repercussion of taking time and energy away from sexual activities that one
tells oneself will bring pleasure。 It is thus with all addictive patterns which
keep us on the self…defeating pursuit of illusory concepts of fulfillment and
happiness。
What do we do when we discover that a large part of our consciousness is
trapped on the second level？ The Third Method for consciousness growth；
explained in Chapter 13； can be helpful in enabling us to reprogram this
addiction。 Sexual addictions can gradually wear away when we bee
consciously aware of the resultant disadvantages and suffering that an
addiction causes。 Our growing insight reveals the penalties we are
unnecessarily paying： the way we alienate people we would like to love
because of the intrusiveness of our subject…object manipulation； the
disappointment； irritation； and anger that a sexual addiction can trigger； the
drain on our pocketbooks； the anxiety that we experience if we have a model
for always reaching orgasm； etc。
The addiction to sex can be so powerful that it may help if you stop your
usual sexual dance for a period of time in order to give you a chance to permit
other patterns to emerge。 For example； if you definitely resolve not to have
sex for the next three months； you may help your consciousness to get free of
domination by sex thoughts and addictions。 This can liberate your
consciousness to tune in to him or her without any overtones of “Let’s go to
bed tonight。” This may broaden your activities together。 It can increase your
openness to more fully experiencing the person as a human being。 You will
begin to free yourself from the diminished awareness that occurs when your
consciousness is focused on sexual interactions。
During this temporary moratorium on sex； you can focus your consciousness
on fully enjoying every here…and…now experience。 You may wish to enjoy
just massaging each other。 Since your consciousness will not be preoccupied
with making anything happen beyond the massage； you can both be
pletely free to thoroughly experience the here and nowness of the
massage。 You are consciously reprogramming yourself to bee nonaddicted
to the experience of orgasm。 You begin to realize that this tensecond
orgasm that sex offers can dominate too large a part of your
Conscious…awareness。 It gives a hollowness to hours and hours of your
precious consciousness keeping you out of the here and now and making
you unable to fully tune in to the full reality that is available to you every
moment of your life。 You begin to see that the experience of orgasm is not
worth the many hours per day during which it may deprive you of tuning in to
everything around you through multichannel perception。
But a beautiful thing about consciousness growth is that when you give it up；
you get it all back。 For you are not training yourself to reject orgasm that
would be substituting one addiction for another。 That which you emotionally
reject is also an addiction that will bring unhappiness。 You’re simply training
yourself to let the experience of orgasm be part of the enjoyable nowness of
your life。 When you can let sex flow into your life as part of the spontaneous
unfoldment of the situations that life offers you； your life will probably bring
you more satisfying sexual experiences than you ever had before。 And these
experiences will be without the disadvantages of having your consciousness
dominated with striving to achieve them。 You can then enjoy sex （or anything
else） without paying a heavy price in lowered perceptions and
disappointments。
Suppose you have successfully placed a moratorium on sex for whatever
period you need to reprogram your consciousness so that you can bee
free of the second level。 Let us suppose that you have begun to interact with
a sexual partner on a broader； non…sexual basis。 You will find yourself
enjoying simple things together that before would have been boring or at
best tolerated as a stepping stone to getting into bed。 You begin to experience
more deeply the inner beauty of the human being that you are with。 You
experience him or her on a deeper level of being。 Your consciousness is freed
from responding as though he or she is an object for your sexual enjoyment。
You may then choose to begin sexual activities but limit them for a few nights
to playful interactions that create a sensitive intimacy perhaps just caressing
and exploring one another’s bodies without going as far as a climax。 The
reason for doing this is to experience the enoughness of whatever you are
doing。 You will discover that when you are pletely tuned in and loving； it
is absolutely enough just to be with a person。 Whatever you do can be
experienced as “enough” if you are not trying to make something happen or
trying to keep something from happening。 Focus your consciousness on the
full enjoyment of the nowness between you and your partner。 Learn to let
each moment flow from the previous one without planning； pushing； or