a face illumined- 第83部分

of　his　own　imagination。　　But　the　hour　of　waking　and　clear　vision

was　drawing　near；　and　Harold　Van　Berg　would　learn　anew　that　the

cool；　well…balanced　reason　on　which　he　had　once　so　prided　himself

was　scarcely　equal　to　all　the　questions　which　complex　human　life

presents。











Chapter　LI。　　From　Deep　Experience。









With　the　night　dreams　began　to　vanish　and　the　prose　of　reality

gradually　to　take　form　and　outline　in　Van　Berg's　mind。　　He　was

compelled　to　admit　that　the　plausible　theories　by　which　he　had

hitherto　satisfied　himself　scarcely　accounted　for　his　moods　and

sensations　the　past　few　days；　and　memory　quietly　informed　him　that

it　had　never　had　any　consciousness　of　such　a　friendship　as　he　now

was　forming。　　But　like　many　another　man　in　the　process　of　conviction

against　his　will；　he　became　irritable　and　angrily　blind　to　a　truth

that　would　place　him　in　an　intolerable　dilemma。　　He　went　to　his

studio；　and　worded　with　dogged　obstinacy　on　the　picture　designed　for

Ida；　giving　his　time　to　those　details　which　required　only　artistic

skill；　for　his　perturbed　mind　was　in　no　mood　for　any　nice　creative

work。



He　had　agreed　to　meet　Ida　and　her　father　on　the　afternoon　boat；

and　his　impatience；　and　the　early　hour　he　started　to　keep　the

appointment；　was　another　straw　which　he　was　compelled　to　see　in

spite　of　himself；　nor　could　he　fail　to　note　which　way　the　current

was　bearing　him。



〃Well；〃　he　muttered；　with　the　fatuity　common　in　all　strong　temptations；

〃I'll　spend　a　few　more　hours　with　this　rare　Undine；　this　genuine

woman；　whoinfinitely　more　beautiful　than　Venusis　rising　out　of

the　dark　waters　of　sorrow；　shame；　and　despair；　and　then　if　I　find

that　it　will　be　wiser　and　safer　to　be　only　a　somewhat　unobtrusive　and

distant　friend；　showing　my　good…will　more　by　deeds　than　by　seeking

her　society；　I　can　gradually　take　this　course　without　wounding

her　feelings　or　exciting　suspicion　of　the　cause。　　She　was　right；

although　she　little　imagines　the　reason；　we　could　never　have　those

readings　together；　and　I　fear　I　must　manage　with　far　fewer　visits

to　my　studio　than　I　had　hoped　for。　　What　an　accursed　chaotic　old

world　it　is　anyway！　　How　grateful　she　is　because　I　merely　treat

her　father　politely！　　It　would　be　impossible　to　do　anything　else；

now　that　he　is　himself　again；　and　yet；　by　this　simple；　easy　method；

I　have　won　a　friendlier　regard　than　I　could　by　any　other　means。

Like　an　idiot；　I　once　thought　she　would　have　to　withdraw　from　her

father　to　develop　her　new　and　beautiful　life。　　If　even　in　faintest

suggestion　I　had　revealed　that　thought　to　her；　I　don't　believe

she　would　have　spoken　to　me　again；　and　I　foresee　that　I　shall　have

to　be　exceedingly　polite　to　Mrs。　Mayhew　also；　for　my　Undine　is

developing　a　conscience　that　might　become　a　man's　implacable　enemy。

But　what　am　I　thinking　about！　　If　I　do　not　intend　to　see　much　of

the　daughter；　I　shall　not　waste　any　time　on　the　mother。　　I　wonder

if　Miss　Mayhew　meant　anything　by　that　odd　little　ballad　last　evening。

Could　she　have　intended　to　remind　me　of　blue…eyed　Jennie　Burton？

No；　for　she　was　singing　it　by　herself；　when　she　did　not　know　I　was

listening。　　The　idiotic　brook！　　If　I　had　given　my　whole　heart　to

the　effort　I　might　have　won　Jennie　Burton　by　this　time。　　Ida　Mayhew

was　right；　no　woman　that　I　wish　to　win　will　show　a　lover　any　favor

till　he　cannot　help　stopping　and　staying；　too。〃



A　moment　later　he　stopped　short　in　the　street。　　〃Great　God！〃　muttered

he；　〃do　I　wish　to　win　Jennie　Burton？　　Whither　am　I　drifting？　　Would

to　heaven　I　had　not　made　this　appointment　this　afternoon。　　Well；

I'm　in　for　it　now；〃　and　he　strode　along　as　if　he　were　going　to

battle；　resolving　to　be　guarded　to　the　last　degree；　lest　Ida　should

suspect　his　weakness。



He　saw　her　come　on　the　boat　with　her　father　at　the　last　moment；

her　cheeks　flushed　with　the　heat　and　her　eyes　aglow　with　the　hurry

and　excitement　of　the　occasion。　　He　saw　one　and　another　of　her

young　gentlemen　acquaintances　step　eagerly　forward　to　speak　to　her

and　admiring　eyes　turning　towards　her　on　every　side。　　〃She　won't

lack　for　friends　and　companions　now；　and　I　soon　will　be　little

missed；〃　he　thought　bitterly。　　One　gentleman；　in　his　impatience

for　her　society；　sought　to　obtain　her　small　travelling…bag；　ad　was

assuring　her　that　he　could　obtain　seats　for　herself　and　father　on

the　crowded　boat；　when；　by　her　timid　glance　around；　she　showed　that

she　was　expecting　some　one；　and　Van　Berg　hastened　forward　and　said

quietly；　〃I　have　seats　reserved　in　the　pilot…house。〃



She　gave　him　a　glad　smile　of　welcome；　but　almost　instantly　her　face

became　grave　and　questioning　in　its　expression；　and　she　looked　at

him　keenly　as　he　cordially　shook　hands　with　her　father。　　As　they

went　away　with　him；　as　if　by　a　prearrangement　several　guests　of　the

Lake　House　looked　at　each　other　and　nodded　their　heads　significantly。



While　on　the　way　to　the　pilot…house；　and　during　their　conversation

after　arriving　there；　Ida　often　turned　a　quick；　questioning　glance

towards　Van　Berg；　and　her　expression　reminded　him　of　some　children's

faces　he　had　seen　as　they　tried　to　read　the　thoughts　or　intentions

of　those　who　had　their　interests　in　keeping。　　He　tried　his　best

to　be　cordial　and　natural　in　mannerto　be；　in　brief；　the　sincere

friend　that　he　had　professed　himselfand　Mr。　Mayhew　did　not　notice

anything　amiss；　but　even　at　some　inflection　of　his　voice；　or　at　a

pause　in　the　conversation；　Ida　would　turn　towards　him　this　sudden；

questioning；　child…like　look；　which　touched　him　deeply　while　it

puzzled　him。　　But　she　gradually　began　to　grow　〃distrait〃　and　quiet；

and　to　look　less　and　less　often。　　Van　Berg　had　a　deep　affection　for

the　noble　river　on　which　they　were　sailing；　and　had　familiarized

himself　with　its　history　and　legends。　　By　means　of　these　he　sought

to　entertain　Ida　and　her　father；　and　with　the　latter　he　succeeded

abundantly；　but　he　often　doubted　whether　Ida　heard　him；　for　her

eyes　and　thoughts　seemed　to　be　wandering　beyond　the　blue　Highlands

which　they　now　were　entering。　　At　last　Mr。　Mayhew　left　them　for　a

while；　and　Van　Berg　turned　and　said　gently：



〃Miss　Ida；　you　are　not　in　good　spirits　this　afternoon。〃



She　did　not　answer　for　a　moment；　but　averted　her　face　still　further

from　him。　　At　last　she　said；　in　a　low　tone：　　〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　did

you　ever　have　a　presentiment　of　evil？〃



〃I　don't　believe　in　such　things；〃　he　replied　promptly。



〃Of　course　not；　you　are　a　man。　　But　I　have　such　a　presentiment　this

afternoon；　and　it　will　come　true。〃



〃What　do　you　fear；　Miss　Ida？〃



〃What　does　a　woman　always　fear？　　Earthquakes；　political　changes；

disturbances　in　the　world　at　large；　of　course。〃



〃I　have　heard　that　a　woman's　kingdom　was　her　heart；〃　Van　Berg　was

indiscreet　enough　to　say。



〃It　is　a　pity；〃　Ida　replied　with　one　of　her　reckless　laughs；　〃for

it　so　often　happens　that　she　cannot　keep　it；　and　those　who　wrest

it　from　her　do　not　care　to　keep　it；　and　so　it　comes　to　be　what　the

geographies　used　to　call　one　of　the　'waste　places　of　the　earth。'

As　the　world　goes；　I　think　I　had　better　retain　my　kingdom；　small

as　it　is。〃



He　turned　very　pale；　and　swift　as　light　he　thought：　　〃Has　she；　by

the　aid　of　her　woman's　intuition；　read　my　thoughts？　　Has　she　seen

the　beginnings　of　a　regard　for　her　far　warmer　than　my　professed

friendship；　and；　remembering　my　suit　to　Jennie　Burton；　is　she　learning

to　despise　me　as　fickle；　or；　worse；　as　a　hypocritical　specimen　of

that　meanest　type　of　human　vermina　male　flirt？〃　and　his　face　grew

so　white　that　Ida　in　her　turn　was　not　only　perplexed；　but　alarmed。



But　after　a　moment　he　said　quietly：　　〃It　is　not　the　size　of　the

kingdom　that　makes　its　value；　but　what　it　contains。　　I　hope　you　will

keep　treasures　of　yours　till　you　find　some　one　worthy　to　receive

them；　and　I　can　scarcely　imagine　that　such　an　idiot　exists　that　he

would　not　retain　them　if　he　could。　　That　is　Fort　Montgomery　yonder；〃

and　he　resolutely　continued　the　story　of　its　defence　and　capture；

until　her　father　returned　saying　it　was　time　to　come　down　ad　prepare

to　land。



Ida　had　scarcely　heard　a　word。　　Her　heart　almost　stood　still　with

dread　and　foreboding；　and　like　a　dreary　refrain　the　words　kept

repeating　themselves；　〃Oh；　I'm　punished；　I'm　punished。　　I　thought

to　win　him　from　Jennie　Burton；　and　my　reckless　words　will　now　make

him　true　to　her　at　every　cost　to　himself。　　He　knows　that　I　must

have　seen　how　he　won　the　kingdom　of　her　heart；　and　he'll　keep　it

now　in　spite　of　my　love　and　something　I　thought　love　that　I　saw　in

his　face。　　Oh；　my　punishment　is　greater　than　I　can　bear；　but　it　is

deserved；　well　deserved。　　If　he　had　won　my　love　first；　what　would

I　think　of　the　woman　who　tried　to　win　him　from　me？　　She　would　have

suffered　what　I　now　must　suffer。　　My　bright　but　guilty　dream　is

over　forever。〃



Van　Berg　assisted　her　down　to　the　gangway　and　out　on　the　wharf　with

a　grave　and　scrupulous　politeness；　but　she　felt　even　more　than　she

saw　that　her　words　had　stung　his　very　soul。　　It　was　their　apparent

truth　which　he　could　never　explain　away　that　gave　them　their　power

to　wound　so　deeply；　and　every　moment　brought　to　him　a　clearer

realization　of　the　fact　that　he　had　tried　to　win；　and　was　pledged

to　win　a　woman　whom　to　wrong　even　unwittingly　would　be　an　act　for

which　he　could　never　forgive　himself。　　And　yet　his　heart　sank　at

the　thought　of　meeting　her；　indeed；　so　guilty　and　embarrassed　did

he　become　in　his　feelings　that　he　decided　he　would　not　meet　her

before　others；　and　sprang　out　of　the　stage；　saying　to　the　driver

that　he　preferred　walking　the　remainder　of　the　way。　　Mr。　Mayhew

looked　at　him　in　some　surprise；　for　his　manner　had　changed　so　now

as　to　attract　his　attention　and　excite　disagreeable　surmises。



To　Ida's　great　relief　Stanton　had　come　down　to　meet　her　with　his

light…wagon。　　He　had　seen　Van　Berg　at　her　side　again　with　surprise；

and；　after　his　fast　horse