favorites； here goes for franknesssome women are furious for plain
matter…of…fact fellows； and this must be one of the number。 One
hundred and twenty…five dollars is a great deal of money；〃 he added；
aloud； 〃and the interest； at 7 per cent； will come to 1。75。 Including first
cost and washing； the annual expense of this handkerchief may be set
down at 2。 But； the thing will not last now five years； if one includes
fashion； wear and tear； &c。； and this will bring the whole expense up to
27 per annum。 We will suppose your fortune to be 50；000； Miss
Julia〃
Here Tom paused； and cast a curious glance at the young lady； in the
hope of hearing something explicit。 Julia could hardly keep her
countenance； but she was resolved to go to the bottom of all this plain…
dealing。
〃Well； sir；〃 she answered； 〃we will suppose it； as you say； 50；000。〃
〃The interest； then； would be 3；500。 Now 27 multiplied by 130〃
here Tom took out his pencil and began to cypher〃make just 3510； or
rather more than the whole amount of the interest。 Well； when you
come to deduct taxes； charges； losses and other things； the best
invested estate of 3；500 per annum； will not yield more than 3；000；
nett。 Suppose a marriage； and the husband has ONLY 1；000 for his
pocket； this would bring down the ways and means to 2；000 per
annum； or less than a hundredth part of the expense of keeping ONE
pocket…handkerchief； and when you come to include rent； fuel；
marketing； and other necessaries； you see； my dear Miss Monson； there
is a great deal of poetry in paying so much for a pocket…handkerchief。〃
〃I believe I understand you； sir； and shall endeavor to profit by the
lesson。 As I am wanted； you will now excuse me； Mr。 Thurstonmy
father's step is in the hall〃 so Julia； in common with all other
Manhattanese； called a passage； or entry； five feet wide〃 and to him I
must refer you。〃
This was said merely as an excuse for quitting the room。 But Tom
received it literally and figuratively； at the same time。
CHAPTER XVIII。
Accustomed to think of marrying as his means of advancement； he
somewhat reasonably supposed 〃refer you to my father〃 meant consent；
so far as the young lady was concerned； and he determined to improve
the precious moments。 Fortunately for his ideas； Mr。 Monson did not
enter the room immediately； which allowed the gentleman an
opportunity for a little deliberation。 As usual； his thoughts took the
direction of a mental soliloquy； much in the following form。
〃This is getting on famously；〃 thought Tom。 〃Refer you to my father
well； that is compact and comprehensive； at the same time。 I wish her
dandruff had got up when I mentioned only 50；000。 Seriously； that is
but a small sum to make one's way on。 If I had a footing of my own； in
society； 50；000 MIGHT do； but； when a fellow has to work his way
by means of dinners； horses； and et ceteras； it's a small allowance。 It's
true； the Monsons will give me connections； and connections are
almostnot quiteas good as money to get a chap along withbut； the
d…l of the matter is； that connections eat and drink。 I dare say the
Monson set will cost me a good 500 a year； though they will save
something in the way of the feed they must give in their turns。 I wish I
had tried her with a higher figure； for； after all； it may have been only
modestysome women are as modest as the d…l。 But here comes old
Monson； and I must strike while the iron is hot。〃
｛dandruff = danderbut while 〃dander〃 can mean dandruff as well as
temper； the reverse is not true｝
〃Good morning； Mr。 Thurston；〃 said the father； looking a little surprised
at seeing such a guest at three o'clock。 〃What； alone with my daughter's
fine pocket…handkerchief？ You must find that indifferent company。〃
〃Not under the circumstances； sir。 Every thing is agreeable to us that
belongs to an object we love。〃
〃Love？ That is a strong term； Mr。 Thurstonone that I hope you have
uttered in pure gallantry。〃
〃Not at all； sir；〃 cried Tom； falling on his knees； as a school boy reads
the wrong paragraph in the confusion of not having studied his lesson
well〃adorable and angelicI beg your pardon； Mr。 Monson；〃rising；
and again brushing his knees with some care〃my mind is in such a
state of confusion； that I scarcely know what I say。〃
〃Really； I should think so； or you could never mistake me for a young
girl of twenty。 Will you have the goodness to explain this matter to me？〃
〃Yes； sirI'm referred。〃
〃Referred？ Pray； what may that mean in particular？〃
〃Only； sir； that I'm referredI do not ask a dollar； sir。 Her lovely mind
and amiable person are all I seek； and I only regret that she is so rich。 I
should be the happiest fellow in the world； Mr。 Monson； if the angelic
Julia had not a cent。〃
〃The angelic Julia must be infinitely indebted to you； Mr。 Thurston； but
let us take up this affair in order。 What am I to understand； sir； by your
being referred？〃
〃That Miss Julia； in answer to my suit； has referred me to you； sir。〃
〃Then； so far as she herself is concerned； you wish me to understand
that she accepts you？〃
〃Certainlyshe accepted； some time since； with as heavenly a 'yes' as
ever came from the ruby lips of love。〃
〃Indeed！ This is so new to me； sir； that you must permit me to see my
daughter a moment； ere I give a definite answer。〃
Hereupon Mr。 Monson left the room； and Tom began to THINK again。
〃Well；〃 he thought； 〃things DO go on swimmingly at last。 This is the first
time I could ever get at a father； though I've offered to six…and…twenty
girls。 One does something like a living business with a father。 I don't
know but I rather overdid it about the dollar； though it's according to
rule to seem disinterested at first； even if you quarrel like furies；
afterwards； about the stuff。 Let me seehad I best begin to screw him
up in this interview； or wait for the next？ A few hints； properly thrown
out； may be useful at once。 Some of these old misers hold on to every
thing till they die； fancying it a mighty pleasant matter to chaps that can't
support themselves to support THEIR daughters by industry； as they
call it。 I'm as industrious as a young fellow can be； and I owe six
months' board； at this very moment。 NonoI'll walk into him at once；
and give him what Napoleon used to call a demonstration。〃
The door opened； and Mr。 Monson entered； his face a little flushed；
and his eye a little severe。 Still he was calm in tone and manner。 Julia
had told him all in ten words。
〃Now； Mr。 Thurston； I believe I understand this matter；〃 said the father；
in a very business…like manner； 〃you wish to marry my daughter？〃
〃Exactly； sir； and she wishes to marry methat is； as far as comports
with the delicacy of the female bosom。〃
〃A very timely reservation。 And you are referred？〃
〃Yes； Mr。 Monson； those cheering words have solaced my earsI am
referred。 The old chap；〃 aside； 〃likes a little humbug； as well as a girl。〃
〃And you will take her without a cent； you say？〃
〃Did I； sir？ I believe I didn't exactly say thatDOLLAR was the word I
mentioned。 CENTS could hardly be named between you and me。〃
〃Dollar let it be； then。 Now； sir； you have my consent on a single
condition。〃
〃Name it； sir。 Name five or six； at once； my dear Mr。 Monson； and you
shall see how I will comply。〃
〃One will answer。 How much fortune do you think will be necessary to
make such a couple happy； at starting in the world？ Name such a sum
as will comport with your own ideas。〃
〃How much； sir？ Mr。 Monson； you are a model of generosity！ You
mean； to keep a liberal and gentlemanly establishment； as would
become your son…in…law？〃
〃I dosuch a fortune as will make you both easy and comfortable。〃
〃Horses and carriages； of course？ Every thing on a genteel and liberal
scale？〃
〃On such a scale as will insure the happiness of man and wife。〃
〃Mutual esteemconjugal felicityand all that。 l suppose you include
dinners； sir； and a manly competition with one's fellow citizens； in real
New York form？〃
〃I mean all that can properly belong to the expenses of a gentleman and
lady。〃
〃Yes； sirexceedingly liberalliberal as the rosy dawn。 Why； sir；
meeting your proposition in the spirit in which it is offered； I should say
Julia and I could get along very comfortably on 100；000。 Yes； we
could make that do； provided the money were well investedno fancy
stocks。〃
〃Well； sir； I am glad we understand each other so clearly。 If my
daughter really wish to marry you； I will give 50；000 of this sum； as
soon as you can show me that you have as much more to invest along
with it。〃
〃SirMr。 Monson！〃
〃I mean that each party shall lay down dollar for dollar！〃
〃I understand what you mean； sir。 Mr。 Monson； that would be
degrading lawful wedlock to the level of a beta game of cardsa
mercenary； contemptible bargain。 No； sirnothing shall ever induce me
to degrade this honorable estate to such pitiful conditions！〃
〃Dollar for dollar； Mr。 Thurston！〃
〃Holy wedlock！ It is violating the best principles of our nature。〃
〃Give and take！〃
〃Leveling the sacred condition of matrimony to that of a mere bargain
for a horse or a dog！〃
〃Half and half！〃
〃My nature revolts at such profanation； sirI will take 75；000 with
Miss Julia； and say no more about it。〃
〃Equality is the foundation of wedded happiness； Mr。 Thurston。〃
〃Say 50；000； Mr。 Monson； and have no more words about it。 Take
away from the transaction the character of a bargain； and even 40；000
will do。〃
〃Not a cent that is not covered by a cent of your own。〃
〃Then； sir； I wash my hands of the whole affair。 If the young lady should
die； my conscience will be clear。 It shall never be said Thomas Thurston
was so lost to himself as to bargain for a wife。〃
〃We must； then； part； and the negotiation must fall through。〃
Tom rose with dignity； and got as far as the door。 With his hand on the
latch； he added
〃Rather than blight the prospects of so pure and lovely a creature I will
make every sacrifice short of honorlet it be 30；000； Mr。 Monson？〃
〃As you please； sirso that it be covered by 30；000 of your own。〃
〃My nature revolts at the proposition； and sogood morning； sir。〃
Tom left the house