atful interlardings。 When an unrisky opportunity offered； one lovely summer day； when we had sounded and buoyed a tangled patch of crossings known as Hell's Half Acre； and were aboard again and he had sneaked the Pennsylvania triumphantly through it without once scraping sand； and the A。 T。 Lacey had followed in our wake and got stuck； and he was feeling good； I showed it to him。 It amused him。 I asked him to fire it off： read it； read it； I diplomatically added； as only he could read dramatic poetry。 The compliment touched him where he lived。 He did read it； read it with surpassing fire and spirit； read it as it will never be read again； for HE knew how to put the right music into those thunderous interlardings and make them seem a part of the text； make them sound as if they were bursting from Shakespeare's own soul； each one of them a golden inspiration and not to be left out without damage to the massed and magnificent whole。
I waited a week； to let the incident fade； waited longer； waited until he brought up for reasonings and vituperation my pet position； my pet argument； the one which I was fondest of； the one which I prized far above all others in my ammunition…wagon； to wit： that Shakespeare couldn't have written Shakespeare's works； for the reason that the man who wrote them was limitlessly familiar with the laws； and the law…courts； and law…proceedings； and lawyer…talk； and lawyer…waysand if Shakespeare was possessed of the infinitely…divided star…dust that constituted this vast wealth； how did he get it； and WHERE； and WHEN？
〃From books。〃
From books！ That was always the idea。 I answered as my readings of the champions of my side of the great controversy had taught me to answer： that a man can't handle glibly and easily and comfortably and successfully the argot of a trade at which he has not personally served。 He will make mistakes； he will not； and cannot； get the trade…phrasings precisely and exactly right； and the moment he departs； by even a shade； from a common trade…form； the reader who has served that trade will know the writer HASN'T。 Ealer would not be convinced； he said a man could learn how to correctly handle the subtleties and mysteries and free…masonries of any trade by careful reading and studying。 But when I got him to read again the passage from Shakespeare with the interlardings； he perceived； himself； that books couldn't teach a student a bewildering multitude of pilot…phrases so thoroughly and perfectly that he could talk them off in book and play or conversation and make no mistake that a pilot would not immediately discover。 It was a triumph for me。 He was silent awhile； and I knew what was happening： he was losing his temper。 And I knew he would presently close the session with the same old argument that was always his stay and his support in time of need； the same old argument； the one I couldn't answerbecause I dasn't： the argument that I was an ass； and better shut up。 He delivered it； and I obeyed。
Oh； dear； how long ago it washow pathetically long ago！ And here am I； old； forsaken； forlorn and alone； arranging to get that argument out of somebody again。
When a man has a passion for Shakespeare； it goes without saying that he keeps company with other standard authors。 Ealer always had several high…class books in the pilot…house； and he read the same ones over and over again； and did not care to change to newer and fresher ones。 He played well on the flute； and greatly enjoyed hearing himself play。 So did I。 He had a notion that a flute would keep its health better if you took it apart when it was not standing a watch； and so； when it was not on duty it took its rest； disjointed； on the compass…shelf under the breast…board。 When the Pennsylvania blew up and became a drifting rack…heap freighted with wounded and dying poor souls （my young brother Henry among them）； pilot Brown had the watch below； and was probably asleep and never knew what killed him； but Ealer escaped unhurt。 He and his pilot… house were shot up into the air； then they fell； and Ealer sank through the ragged cavern where the hurricane deck and the boiler deck had been； and landed in a nest of ruins on the main deck； on top of one of the unexploded boilers； where he lay prone in a fog of scalding and deadly steam。 But not for long。 He did not lose his head： long familiarity with danger had taught him to keep it； in any and all emergencies。 He held his coat…lappels to his nose with one hand； to keep out the steam； and scrabbled around with the other till he found the joints of his flute； then he is took measures to save himself alive； and was successful。 I was not on board。 I had been put ashore in New Orleans by Captain Klinefelter。 The reasonhowever； I have told all about it in the book called Old Times on the Mississippi； and it isn't important anyway； it is so long ago。
CHAPTER II
When I was a Sunday…school scholar something more than sixty years ago； I became interested in Satan； and wanted to find out all I could about him。 I began to ask questions； but my class…teacher； Mr。 Barclay the stone…mason； was reluctant about answering them； it seemed to me。 I was anxious to be praised for turning my thoughts to serious subjects when there wasn't another boy in the village who could be hired to do such a thing。 I was greatly interested in the incident of Eve and the serpent； and thought Eve's calmness was perfectly noble。 I asked Mr。 Barclay if he had ever heard of another woman who； being approached by a serpent； would not excuse herself and break for the nearest timber。 He did not answer my question； but rebuked me for inquiring into matters above my age and comprehension。 I will say for Mr。 Barclay that he was willing to tell me the facts of Satan's history； but he stopped there： he wouldn't allow any discussion of them。
In the course of time we exhausted the facts。 There were only five or six of them； you could set them all down on a visiting…card。 I was disappointed。 I had been meditating a biography； and was grieved to find that there were no materials。 I said as much； with the tears running down。 Mr。 Barclay's sympathy and compassion were aroused； for he was a most kind and gentle…spirited man； and he patted me on the head and cheered me up by saying there was a whole vast ocean of materials！ I can still feel the happy thrill which these blessed words shot through me。
Then he began to bail out that ocean's riches for my encouragement and joy。 Like this： it was 〃conjectured〃though not established… …that Satan was originally an angel in heaven； that he fell； that he rebelled； and brought on a war； that he was defeated； and banished to perdition。 Also； 〃we have reason to believe〃 that later he did so…and…so； that 〃we are warranted in supposing〃 that at a subsequent time he travelled extensively； seeking whom he might devour； that a couple of centuries afterward； 〃as tradition instructs us；〃 he took up the cruel trade of tempting people to their ruin； with vast and fearful results； that by…and…by； 〃as the probabilities seem to indicate；〃 he may have done certain things； he might have done certain other things； he must have done still other things。
And so on and so on。 We set down the five known facts by themselves； on a piece of paper； and numbered it 〃page 1〃； then on fifteen hundred other pieces of paper we set down the 〃conjectures；〃 and 〃suppositions；〃 and 〃maybes；〃 and 〃perhapses；〃 and 〃doubtlesses；〃 and 〃rumors；〃 and 〃guesses；〃 and 〃probabilities；〃 and 〃likelihoods；〃 and 〃we are permitted to thinks；〃 and 〃we are warranted in believings；〃 and 〃might have beens；〃 and 〃could have beens；〃 and 〃must have beens；〃 and 〃unquestionablys；〃 and 〃without a shadow of doubts〃and behold！
MATERIALS？ Why； we had enough to build a biography of Shakespeare！
Yet he made me put away my pen； he would not let me write the history of Satan。 Why？ Because； as he said； he had suspicions； suspicions that my attitude in this matter was not reverent； and that a person must be reverent when writing about the sacred characters。 He said any one who spoke flippantly of Satan would be frowned upon by the religious world and also be brought to account。
I assured him； in earnest and sincere words； that he had wholly misconceived my attitude； that I had the highest respect for Satan； and that my reverence for him equalled； and possibly even exceeded； that of any member of any church。 I said it wounded me deeply to perceive by his words that he thought I would make fun of Satan； and deride him； laugh at him； scoff at him： whereas in truth I had never thought of such a thing； but had only a warm desire to make fun of those others and laugh at THEM。 〃What others？〃 〃Why； the Supposers； the Perhapsers； the Might…Have…Beeners； the Could…Have… Beeners； the Must…Have…Beeners； the Without…a…Shadow…of…Doubters； the We…are…Warranted…in…Believingers； and all that funny crop of solemn architects who have taken a good solid foundation of five indisputable and unimportant facts and built upon it a Conjectural Satan thirty miles high。〃
What did Mr。 Barclay do then？ Was he disarmed？ Was he silenced？ No。 He was shocked。 He was so shocked that he visibly shuddered。 He said the Satanic Traditioners and Perhapsers and Conjecturers were THEMSELVES sacred！ As sacred as their work。 So sacred that whoso ventured to mock them or make fun of their work； could not afterward enter any respectable house； even by the back door。
How true were his words； and how wise！ How fortunate it would have been for me if I had heeded them。 But I was young； I was but seven years of age； and vain； foolish； and anxious to attract attention。 I wrote the biography； and have never been in a respectable house since。
CHAPTER III
How curious and interesting is the parallelas far as poverty of biographical details is concernedbetween Satan and Shakespeare。 It is wonderful； it is unique； it stands quite alone； there is nothing resembling it in history； nothing resembling it in romance； nothing approaching it even in tradition。 How sublime is their position； and how over…topping； how sky…reaching； how supremethe two Great Unknowns； the two Illustrious Conjecturabilities！ They are the best…know