for the term of his natural life- 第38部分

The　child　reiterated　her　words；　but　still　the　silent　figure　did　not　reply。

〃Mr。　Dawes！〃　she　cried　again；　and　pulled　him　by　the　coat…sleeve。

The　touch　aroused　him；　and　looking　down；　he　saw　the　pretty；　thin　face　upturned　to　his。　　Scarcely　conscious　of　what　he　did；　and　still　following　out　the　imagining　which　made　him　free；　wealthy；　and　respected；　he　caught　the　little　creature　in　his　armsas　he　might　have　caught　his　own　daughterand　kissed　her。　　Sylvia　said　nothing；　but　Mr。　Frerearrived；　by　his　chain　of　reasoning；　at　quite　another　conclusion　as　to　the　state　of　affairswas　astonished　at　the　presumption　of　the　man。　The　lieutenant　regarded　himself　as　already　reinstated　in　his　old　position；　and　with　Mrs。　Vickers　on　his　arm；　reproved　the　apparent　insolence　of　the　convict　as　freely　as　he　would　have　done　had　they　both　been　at　his　own　little　kingdom　of　Maria　Island。　　〃You　insolent　beggar！〃　he　cried。　　〃Do　you　dare！　　Keep　your　place；　sir！〃

The　sentence　recalled　Rufus　Dawes　to　reality。　　His　place　was　that　of　a　convict。　What　business　had　he　with　tenderness　for　the　daughter　of　his　master？　Yet；　after　all　he　had　done；　and　proposed　to　do；　this　harsh　judgment　upon　him　seemed　cruel。　　He　saw　the　two　looking　at　the　boat　he　had　built。　He　marked　the　flush　of　hope　on　the　cheek　of　the　poor　lady；　and　the　full…blown　authority　that　already　hardened　the　eye　of　Maurice　Frere；　and　all　at　once　he　understood　the　result　of　what　he　had　done。　He　had；　by　his　own　act；　given　himself　again　to　bondage。　　As　long　as　escape　was　impracticable；　he　had　been　useful；　and　even　powerful。　Now　he　had　pointed　out　the　way　of　escape；　he　had　sunk　into　the　beast　of　burden　once　again。　　In　the　desert　he　was　〃Mr。〃　Dawes；　the　saviour；　in　civilized　life　he　would　become　once　more　Rufus　Dawes；　the　ruffian；　the　prisoner；　the　absconder。　　He　stood　mute；　and　let　Frere　point　out　the　excellences　of　the　craft　in　silence；　and　then；　feeling　that　the　few　words　of　thanks　uttered　by　the　lady　were　chilled　by　her　consciousness　of　the　ill…advised　freedom　he　had　taken　with　the　child；　he　turned　on　his　heel；　and　strode　up　into　the　bush。

〃A　queer　fellow；〃　said　Frere；　as　Mrs。　Vickers　followed　the　retreating　figure　with　her　eyes。　　〃Always　in　an　ill　temper。〃　〃Poor　man！　　He　has　behaved　very　kindly　to　us；〃　said　Mrs。　Vickers。　　Yet　even　she　felt　the　change　of　circumstance；　and　knew　that；　without　any　reason　she　could　name；　her　blind　trust　and　hope　in　the　convict　who　had　saved　their　lives　had　been　transformed　into　a　patronizing　kindliness　which　was　quite　foreign　to　esteem　or　affection。

〃Come；　let　us　have　some　supper；〃　says　Frere。　　〃The　last　we　shall　eat　here；　I　hope。　　He　will　come　back　when　his　fit　of　sulks　is　over。〃

But　he　did　not　come　back；　and；　after　a　few　expressions　of　wonder　at　his　absence；　Mrs。　Vickers　and　her　daughter；　rapt　in　the　hopes　and　fears　of　the　morrow；　almost　forgot　that　he　had　left　them。　　With　marvellous　credulity　they　looked　upon　the　terrible　stake　they　were　about　to　play　for　as　already　won。　The　possession　of　the　boat　seemed　to　them　so　wonderful；　that　the　perils　of　the　voyage　they　were　to　make　in　it　were　altogether　lost　sight　of。　　As　for　Maurice　Frere；　he　was　rejoiced　that　the　convict　was　out　of　the　way。　　He　wished　that　he　was　out　of　the　way　altogether。




CHAPTER　XVI。

THE　WRITING　ON　THE　SAND。



Having　got　out　of　eye…shot　of　the　ungrateful　creatures　he　had　befriended；　Rufus　Dawes　threw　himself　upon　the　ground　in　an　agony　of　mingled　rage　and　regret。　　For　the　first　time　for　six　years　he　had　tasted　the　happiness　of　doing　good；　the　delight　of　self…abnegation。　　For　the　first　time　for　six　years　he　had　broken　through　the　selfish　misanthropy　he　had　taught　himself。　　And　this　was　his　reward！　　He　had　held　his　temper　in　check；　in　order　that　it　might　not　offend　others。　　He　had　banished　the　galling　memory　of　his　degradation；　lest　haply　some　shadow　of　it　might　seem　to　fall　upon　the　fair　child　whose　lot　had　been　so　strangely　cast　with　his。　He　had　stifled　the　agony　he　suffered；　lest　its　expression　should　give　pain　to　those　who　seemed　to　feel　for　him。　　He　had　forborne　retaliation；　when　retaliation　would　have　been　most　sweet。　　Having　all　these　years　waited　and　watched　for　a　chance　to　strike　his　persecutors；　he　had　held　his　hand　now　that　an　unlooked…for　accident　had　placed　the　weapon　of　destruction　in　his　grasp。　　He　had　risked　his　life；　forgone　his　enmities；　almost　changed　his　natureand　his　reward　was　cold　looks　and　harsh　words；　so　soon　as　his　skill　had　paved　the　way　to　freedom。　　This　knowledge　coming　upon　him　while　the　thrill　of　exultation　at　the　astounding　news　of　his　riches　yet　vibrated　in　his　brain；　made　him　grind　his　teeth　with　rage　at　his　own　hard　fate。　　Bound　by　the　purest　and　holiest　of　tiesthe　affection　of　a　son　to　his　motherhe　had　condemned　himself　to　social　death；　rather　than　buy　his　liberty　and　life　by　a　revelation　which　would　shame　the　gentle　creature　whom　he　loved。　　By　a　strange　series　of　accidents；　fortune　had　assisted　him　to　maintain　the　deception　he　had　practised。　His　cousin　had　not　recognized　him。　　The　very　ship　in　which　he　was　believed　to　have　sailed　had　been　lost　with　every　soul　on　board。　　His　identity　had　been　completely　destroyedno　link　remained　which　could　connect　Rufus　Dawes；　the　convict；　with　Richard　Devine；　the　vanished　heir　to　the　wealth　of　the　dead　ship…builder。

Oh；　if　he　had　only　known！　　If；　while　in　the　gloomy　prison；　distracted　by　a　thousand　fears；　and　weighed　down　by　crushing　evidence　of　circumstance；　he　had　but　guessed　that　death　had　stepped　between　Sir　Richard　and　his　vengeance；　he　might　have　spared　himself　the　sacrifice　he　had　made。　　He　had　been　tried　and　condemned　as　a　nameless　sailor；　who　could　call　no　witnesses　in　his　defence；　and　give　no　particulars　as　to　his　previous　history。　　It　was　clear　to　him　now　that　he　might　have　adhered　to　his　statement　of　ignorance　concerning　the　murder；　locked　in　his　breast　the　name　of　the　murderer；　and　have　yet　been　free。　Judges　are　just；　but　popular　opinion　is　powerful；　and　it　was　not　impossible　that　Richard　Devine；　the　millionaire；　would　have　escaped　the　fate　which　had　overtaken　Rufus　Dawes；　the　sailor。　　Into　his　calculations　in　the　prisonwhen；　half…crazed　with　love；　with　terror；　and　despair；　he　had　counted　up　his　chances　of　lifethe　wild　supposition　that　he　had　even　then　inherited　the　wealth　of　the　father　who　had　disowned　him；　had　never　entered。　　The　knowledge　of　that　fact　would　have　altered　the　whole　current　of　his　life；　and　he　learnt　it　for　the　first　time　now　too　late。　　Now；　lying　prone　upon　the　sand；　now；　wandering　aimlessly　up　and　down　among　the　stunted　trees　that　bristled　white　beneath　the　mist…barred　moon；　now；　sittingas　he　had　sat　in　the　prison　long　ago　with　the　head　gripped　hard　between　his　hands；　swaying　his　body　to　and　fro；　he　thought　out　the　frightful　problem　of　his　bitter　life。　　Of　little　use　was　the　heritage　that　he　had　gained。　　A　convict…absconder；　whose　hands　were　hard　with　menial　service；　and　whose　back　was　scarred　with　the　lash；　could　never　be　received　among　the　gently　nurtured。　Let　him　lay　claim　to　his　name　and　rights；　what　then？　　He　was　a　convicted　felon；　and　his　name　and　rights　had　been　taken　from　him　by　the　law。　Let　him　go　and　tell　Maurice　Frere　that　he　was　his　lost　cousin。　He　would　be　laughed　at。　　Let　him　proclaim　aloud　his　birth　and　innocence；　and　the　convict…sheds　would　grin；　and　the　convict　overseer　set　him　to　harder　labour。　　Let　him　even；　by　dint　of　reiteration；　get　his　wild　story　believed；　what　would　happen？　　If　it　was　heard　in　England　after　the　lapse　of　years；　perhapsthat　a　convict　in　the　chain…gang　in　Macquarie　Harboura　man　held　to　be　a　murderer；　and　whose　convict　career　was　one　long　record　of　mutiny　and　punishmentclaimed　to　be　the　heir　to　an　English　fortune；　and　to　own　the　right　to　dispossess　staid　and　worthy　English　folk　of　their　rank　and　station；　with　what　feeling　would　the　announcement　be　received？　　Certainly　not　with　a　desire　to　redeem　this　ruffian　from　his　bonds　and　place　him　in　the　honoured　seat　of　his　dead　father。　　Such　intelligence　would　be　regarded　as　a　calamity；　an　unhappy　blot　upon　a　fair　reputation；　a　disgrace　to　an　honoured　and　unsullied　name。　　Let　him　succeed；　let　him　return　again　to　the　mother　who　had　by　this　time　become　reconciled；　in　a　measure；　to　his　loss；　he　would；　at　the　best；　be　to　her　a　living　shame；　scarcely　less　degrading　than　that　which　she　had　dreaded。

But　success　was　almost　impossible。　　He　did　not　dare　to　retrace　his　steps　through　the　hideous　labyrinth　into　which　he　had　plunged。　　Was　he　to　show　his　scarred　shoulders　as　a　proof　that　he　was　a　gentleman　and　an　innocent　man？　Was　he　to　relate　the　nameless　infamies　of　Macquarie　Harbour　as　a　proof　that　he　was　entitled　to　receive　the　hospitalities　of　the　generous；　and　to　sit；　a　respected　guest；　at　the　tables　of　men　of　refinement？　Was　he　to　quote　the　horrible　slang　of　the　prison…ship；　and　retail　the　filthy　jests　of　the　chain…gang　and　the　hulks；　as　a　proof　that　he　was　a　fit　companion　for　pure…minded　women　and　innocent　children？　Suppose　even　that　he　could　conceal　the　name　of　the　real　criminal；　and　show　himself　guiltless　of　the　crime　for　which　he　had　been　condemned；　all　the　wealth　in　the　world　could　not　buy　back　that　blissful　ignorance　of　evil　which　had　once　been　his。　　All　the　wealth　in　the　world　could　not　purchase　the　self…respect　which　had　been　cut　out　of　him　by　the　lash；　or　banish　from　his　brain　the　memory　of　his　degradation。

For　hours　this　agony　of　thought　racked　him。　　He　cried　out　as　though　with　physical　pain；　and　then　lay　in　a　stupor；　exhausted　with　actual　physical　suffering。　　It　was　hopeless　to　think　of　freedom　and　of　honour。　Let　him　keep　silence；　and　pursue　the　life　fate　had　marked　out　for　him。　He　would　return　to　bondage。　　The　law　would　claim　him　as　an　absconder；　and　would　mete　out　to　him　such　punishment　as　was　fitting。　Perhaps　he　might　escape　severest　punishment；　as　a　reward　for　his　exertions　in　saving　the　child。　　He　might　consider　himself　fortunate　if　such　was　permitted　to　him。　　Fortunate！　　Suppose　he　did　not　go　back　at　all；　but　wandered　away　into　the　wilderness　and　died？　　Better　death　than　such　a　doom　as　his。　Yet　need　he　die？　　He　had　caught　goats；　he　could　catch　fish。　He　could　build　a　hut。　　In　here　was；　perchance；　at　the　deserted　settlement　some　remnant　of　seed　corn　that；　planted；　would　give　him　bread。　He　had　built　a　boat；　he