master it； and to satisfy myself that it was not neglected； and was
being properly conducted。 I should be able to took after Ada’s
interests； and my own interests （the same thing！）； and I should peg
away at Blackstone and all those fellows with the most
tremendous ardour。”
I was not by any means so sure of that； and I saw how his
hankering after the vague things yet to come of those long…
deferred hopes； cast a shade on Ada’s face。 But I thought it best to
encourage him in any project of continuous exertion； and only
advised him to be quite sure that his mind was made up now。
“My dear Minerva；” said Richard； “I am as steady as you are。 I
made a mistake； we are all liable to mistakes； I won’t do so any
more； and I’ll become such a lawyer as is not often seen。 That is；
you know；” said Richard； relapsing into doubt； “if it really is worth
while； after all； to make such a disturbance about nothing
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particular！”
This led to our saying again； with a great deal of gravity； all that
we had said already； and to our coming to much the same
conclusion afterwards。 But； we so strongly advised Richard to be
frank and open with Mr Jarndyce； without a moment’s delay； and
his disposition was naturally so opposed to concealment； that he
sought him out at once （taking us with him；） and made a full
avowal。 “Rick；” said my Guardian； after hearing him attentively；
“we can retreat with honour； and we will。 But we must be
careful—for our cousin’s sake—Rick； for our cousin’s sake—that
we make no more such mistakes。 Therefore； in the matter of the
law； we will have a good trial before we decide。 We will look before
we leap； and take plenty of time about it。”
Richard’s energy was of such an impatient and fitful kind； that
he would have liked nothing better than to have gone to Mr
Kenge’s office in that hour； and to have entered into articles with
him on the spot。 Submitting； however； with a good grace to the
caution that we had shown to be so necessary； he contented
himself with sitting down among us in his lightest spirits； and
talking as if his one unvarying purpose in life from childhood had
been that one which now held possession of him。 My Guardian
was very kind and cordial with him； but rather grave； enough so to
cause Ada； when he had departed and we were going upstairs to
bed； to say：
“Cousin John； I hope you don’t think the worse of Richard？”
“No； my love；” said he。
“Because it was very natural that Richard should be mistaken
in such a difficult case。 It is not uncommon。”
“No； no； my love；” said he。 “Don’t look unhappy。”
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“O； I am not unhappy； cousin John！” said Ada； smiling
cheerfully； with her hand upon his shoulder； where she had put it
in bidding him good night。 “But I should be a little so； if you
thought at all the worse of Richard。”
“My dear；” said Mr Jarndyce。 “I should think the worse of him
only if you were ever in the least unhappy through his means。 I
should be more disposed to quarrel with myself； even then； than
with poor Rick； for I brought you together。 But tut； all this is
nothing！ He has time before him； and the race to run。 I think the
worse of him？ Not I； my loving cousin！ And not you； I swear！”
“No； indeed； cousin John；” said Ada； “I am sure I could not—I
am sure I would not—think any ill of Richard； if the whole world
did。 I could； and I would； think better of him then； than at any
other time！”
So quietly and honestly she said it； with her hands upon his
shoulders—both hands now—and looking up into his face； like the
picture of Truth！
“I think；” said my Guardian； thoughtfully regarding her； “I
think it must be somewhere written that the virtues of the mothers
shall； occasionally； be visited on the children； as well as the sins of
the fathers。 Good night； my rosebud。 Good night； little woman。
Pleasant slumbers！ Happy dreams！”
This was the first time I ever saw him follow Ada with his eyes；
with something of a shadow on their benevolent expression。 I well
remember the look with which he had contemplated her and
Richard； when she was singing in the firelight； it was but a very
little while since he had watched them passing down the room in
which the sun was shining； and away into the shade； but his
glance was changed； and even the silent look of confidence in me
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which now followed it once more； was not quite so hopeful and
untroubled as it had originally been。
Ada praised Richard more to me； that night； than ever she had
praised him yet。 She went to sleep； with a little bracelet he had
given her clasped upon her arm。 I fancied she was dreaming of
him when I kissed her cheek after she had slept an hour； and saw
how tranquil and happy she looked。
For I was so little inclined to sleep； myself； that night； that I sat
up working。 It would not be worth mentioning for its own sake；
but I was wakeful and rather low…spirited。 I don’t know why。 At
least； I don’t think I know why。 At least； perhaps I do； but I don’t
think it matters。
At any rate； I made up my mind to be so dreadfully industrious
that I would leave myself not a moment’s leisure to be low…
spirited。 For I naturally said； “Esther！ You to be low…spirited。
You！” And it really was time to say so； for I—yes； I really did see
myself in the glass； almost crying。 “As if you had anything to make
you unhappy； instead of everything to make you happy； you
ungrateful heart！” said I。
If I could have made myself go to sleep； I would have done it
directly； but； not being able to do that； I took out of my basket
some ornamental work for our house （I mean Bleak House） that I
was busy with at that time； and sat down to it with great
determination。 It was necessary to count all the stitches in that
work； and I resolved to go on with it until I couldn’t keep my eyes
open； and then to go to bed。
I soon found myself very busy。 But I had left some silk
downstairs in a work…table drawer in the temporary Growlery； and
coming to a stop for want of it； I took my candle and went softly
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down to get it。 To my great surprise； on going in； I found my
Guardian still there； and sitting looking at the ashes。 He was lost
in thought； his book lay unheeded by his side； his silvered iron…
grey hair was scattered confusedly upon his forehead as though
his hand had been wandering among it while his thoughts were
elsewhere； and his face looked worn。 Almost frightened by coming
upon him so unexpectedly； I stood still for a moment； and should
have retired without speaking； had he not； in again passing his
hand abstractedly through his hair； seen me and started。
“Esther！”
I told him what I had come for。
“At work so late； my dear？”
“I am working late tonight；” said I； “because I couldn’t sleep；
and wished to tire myself。 But； dear Guardian； you are late too；
and look weary。 You have no trouble； I hope； to keep you
waking？”
“None； little woman； that you would readily understand；” said
he。
He spoke in a regretful tone so new to me； that I inwardly
repeated； as if that would help me to his meaning； “That I could
readily understand！”
“Remain a moment； Esther；” said he。 “You were in my
thoughts。”
“I hope I was not the trouble； Guardian？”
He slightly waved his hand； and fell into his usual manner。 The
change was so remarkable； and he appeared to make it by dint of
so much self…command； that I found myself again inwardly
repeating； “None that I could understand！”
“Little woman；” said my Guardian； “I was thinking—that is； I
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