used to laugh at while they praised them； my odd ways
everywhere。
I could not say enough in admiration of what was all so
beautiful； but one secret doubt arose in my mind； when I saw this。
I thought； O would he be the happier for it！ Would it not have been
better for his peace that I should not have been so brought before
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Bleak House 1176
him？ Because； although I was not what he thought me； still he
loved me very dearly； and it might remind him mournfully of what
he believed he had lost。 I did not wish him to forget me；—perhaps
he might not have done so； without these aids to his memory；—but
my way was easier than his； and I could have reconciled myself
even to that； so that he had been made the happier for it。
“And now； little woman；” said my Guardian； whom I had never
seen so proud and joyful as in showing me these things； and
watching my appreciation of them； “now； last of all； for the name
of this house。”
“What is it called； dear Guardian？”
“My child；” said he； “come and see。”
He took me to the porch； which he had hitherto avoided； and
said； pausing before we went out：—
“My dear child； don’t you guess the name？”
“No！” said I。
We went out of the porch； and he showed me written over it；
BLEAK HOUSE。
He led me to a seat among the leaves close by； and sitting down
beside me； and taking my hand in his； spoke to me thus：
“My darling girl； in what there has been between us； I have； I
hope； been really solicitous for your happiness。 When I wrote you
the letter to which you brought the answer；” smiling as he referred
to it； “I had my own too much in view； but I had yours too。
Whether； under different circumstances； I might ever have
renewed the old dream I sometimes dreamed when you were very
young； of making you my wife one day； I need not ask myself。 I did
renew it； and I wrote my letter； and you brought your answer。 You
are following what I say； my child？”
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Bleak House 1177
I was cold； and I trembled violently； but not a word he uttered
was lost。 As I sat looking fixedly at him； and the sun’s rays
descended； softly shining through the leaves； upon his bare head； I
felt as if the brightness on him must be like the brightness of the
Angels。
“Hear me； my love； but do not speak。 It is for me to speak now。
When it was that I began to doubt whether what I had done would
really make you happy； is no matter。 Woodcourt came home； and I
soon had no doubt at all。”
I clasped him round the neck； and hung my head upon his
breast； and wept。 “Lie lightly； confidently； here； my child；” said he；
pressing me gently to him。 “I am your Guardian and your father
now。 Rest confidently here。”
Soothingly； like the gentle rustling of the leaves； and genially；
like the ripening weather； and radiantly and beneficently； like the
sunshine； he went on。
“Understand me； my dear girl。 I had no doubt of your being
contented and happy with me； being so dutiful and so devoted； but
I saw with whom you would be happier。 That I penetrated his
secret when Dame Durden was blind to it； is no wonder； for I
knew the good that could never change in her； better far than she
did。 Well！ I have long been in Allan Woodcourt’s confidence；
although he was not； until yesterday； a few hours before you came
here； in mine。 But I would not have my Esther’s bright example
lost； I would not have a jot of my dear girl’s virtues unobserved
and unhonoured； I would not have her admitted on sufferance into
the line of Morgan ap Kerrig； no； not for the weight in gold of all
the mountains in Wales！”
He stopped to kiss me on the forehead； and I sobbed and wept
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Bleak House 1178
afresh。 For I felt as if I could not bear the painful delight of his
praise。
“Hush； little woman！ Don’t cry； this is to be a day of joy。 I have
looked forward to it；” he said； exultingly； “for months on months！
A few words more； Dame Trot； and I have said my say。
Determined not to throw away one atom of my Esther’s worth； I
took Mrs Woodcourt into a separate confidence。 ‘Now； madam；’
said I； ‘I clearly perceive—and indeed I know； to boot—that your
son loves my ward。 I am further very sure that my ward loves your
son； but will sacrifice her love to a sense of duty and affection； and
will sacrifice it so completely； so entirely； so religiously； that you
should never suspect it； though you watched her night and day。’
Then I told her all our story—ours—yours and mine。 ‘Now；
madam；’ said I； ‘come you； knowing this； and live with us。 Come
you； and see my child from hour to hour； set what you see； against
her pedigree； which is this； and this’—for I scorned to mince it—
’and tell me what is the true legitimacy； when you shall have quite
made up your mind on that subject。’ Why； honour to her old Welsh
blood； my dear！” cried my Guardian； with enthusiasm； “I believe
the heart it animates beats no less warmly； no less admiringly； no
less lovingly； towards Dame Durden； than my own！”
He tenderly raised my head； and as I clung to him； kissed me in
his old fatherly way again and again。 What a light； now； on the
protecting manner I had thought about。
“One more last word。 When Allan Woodcourt spoke to you； my
dear； he spoke with my knowledge and consent—but I gave him
no encouragement； not I； for these surprises were my great
reward； and I was too miserly to part with a scrap of it。 He was to
come； and tell me all that passed； and he did。 I have no more to
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Bleak House 1179
say。 My dearest； Allan Woodcourt stood beside your father when
he lay dead—stood beside your mother。 This is Bleak House。 This
day I give this house its little mistress； and before God； it is the
brightest day in all my life！”
He rose and raised me with him。 We were no longer alone。 My
husband—I have called him by that name full seven happy years
now—stood at my side。
“Allan；” said my Guardian； “take from me； a willing gift； the
best wife that ever a man had。 What more can I say for you than
that I know you deserve her！ Take with her the little home she
brings you。 You know what she will make it； Allan； you know what
she has made its namesake。 Let me share its felicity sometimes；
and what do I sacrifice？ Nothing； nothing。”
He kissed me once again； and now the tears were in his eyes； as
he said more softly：
“Esther； my dearest； after so many years； there is a kind of
parting in this too。 I know that my mistake has caused you some
distress。 Forgive your old Guardian； in restoring him to his old
place in your affections； and blot it out of your memory。 Allan； take
my dear！”
He moved away from under the green roof of leaves； stopping
in the sunlight outside； and turning cheerfully towards us； said：
“I shall be found about here somewhere。 It’s a West wind； little
woman； due West！ Let no one thank me any more； for I am going
to revert to my bachelor habits； and if anybody disregards this
warning； I’ll run away and never come back！”
What happiness was ours that day； what joy； what rest； what
hope； what gratitude； what bliss！ We were to be married before the
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month was out； but when we were to come and take possession of
our own house； was to depend on Richard and Ada。
We all three went home together next day。 As soon as we
arrived in town； Allan went straight to see Richard； and to carry
our joyful news to him and my darling。 Late as it was； I meant to
go to her for a few minutes before lying down to sleep； but I went
home with my Guardian first； to make his tea for him； and to
occupy the old chair by his side； for I did not like to think of its
being empty so soon。
When we came home； we found that a young man had called
three times in the course of that one day； to see me； and that；
having been told； on the occasion of his third call； than I was not
expected to return before ten
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