the notch on the ax and on being found out- 第58部分

Bourgonef　here　held　out　to　me　a　crumpled　letter；　and　motioned　that
I　should　open　it　and　read。　　It　ran　thus：


〃I　have　thought　much　of　what　you　have　so　often　said；　that　it　would
be　for　the　happiness　of　both　if　our　unfortunate　engagement　were　set
aside。　　That　you　have　a　real　affection　for　me　I　believe；　and　be
assured　that　I　once　had　a　real　affection　for　you；　not；　perhaps；　the
passionate　love　which　a　nature　so　exacting　as　yours　demands；　and
which　I　earnestly　hope　it　may　one　day　find；　but　a　genuine　affection
nevertheless；　which　would　have　made　me　proud　to　share　your　lot。
But　it　would　be　uncandid　in　me　to　pretend　that　this　now　exists。
Your　incessant　jealousy；　the　angry　feelings　excited　by　your
reproaches；　the　fretful　irritation　in　which　for　some　time　we　have
lived　together；　has　completely　killed　what　love　I　had；　and　I　no
longer　feel　prepared　to　risk　the　happiness　of　both　of　us　by　a
marriage。　　What　you　said　the　other　night　convinces　me　that　it　is
even　your　desire　our　engagement　should　cease。　　It　is　certainly
mine。　　Let　us　try　to　think　kindly　of　each　other　and　meet　again　as
friends。

AGALMA　LIEBENSTEIN。〃


When　I　had　read　this　and　returned　it　to　him；　he　said：

〃You　see　that　this　was　written　on　the　day　I　was　taken　ill。　　Whether
she　knew　that　I　was　helpless　I　know　not。　　At　any　rate；　she　never
sent　to　inquire　after　me。　　She　went　off　to　Paris；　Korinski　followed
her；　andas　I　quickly　learned　on　going　once　more　into　society
they　were　married！　　Did　you　ever；　in　the　whole　course　of　your
experience；　hear　of　such　heartless　conduct？〃

Bourgonef　asked　this　with　a　ferocity　which　quite　startled　me。　　I
did　not　answer　him；　for；　in　truth；　I　could　not　see　that　Agalma　had
been　very　much　to　blame；　even　as　he　told　the　story；　and　felt　sure
that　could　I　have　heard　her　version　it　would　have　worn　a　very
different　aspect。　　That　she　was　cold；　and　disappointed　him；　might
be　true　enough；　but　there　was　no　crime；　and　I　perfectly　understood
how　thoroughly　odious　he　must　have　made　himself　to　her　by　his
exactions　and　reproaches。　　I　understood　this；　perhaps；　all　the
better；　because　in　the　course　of　his　narrative　Bourgonef　had
revealed　to　me　aspects　of　his　nature　which　were　somewhat　repulsive。
Especially　was　I　struck　with　his　morbid　vanity；　and　his　readiness
to　impute　low　motives　to　others。　　This　unpleasant　view　of　his
charactera　character　in　many　respects　so　admirable　for　its
generosity　and　refinementwas　deepened　as　he　went　on；　instead　of
awaiting　my　reply　to　his　question。

〃For　a　wrong　so　measureless；　you　will　naturally　ask　what
measureless　revenge　I　sought。〃

The　idea　had　not　occurred　to　me；　indeed　I　could　see　no　wrong；　and
this　notion　of　revenge　was　somewhat　startling　in　such　a　case。

〃I　debated　it　long；〃　he　continued。　　〃I　felt　that　since　I　was
prevented　from　arresting　any　of　the　evil　to　myself；　I　could　at
least　mature　my　plans　for　an　adequate　discharge　of　just
retributions　on　her。　　It　reveals　the　impotence　resulting　from　the
trammels　of　modern　civilization；　that　while　the　possibilities　of
wrong　are　infinite；　the　openings　for　vengeance　are　few　and
contemptible。　　Only　when　a　man　is　thrown　upon　the　necessities　of
this　'wild　justice'　does　he　discover　how　difficult　vengeance　really
is。　　Had　Agalma　been　my　wife；　I　could　have　wreaked　my　wrath　upon
her；　with　assurance　that　some　of　the　torture　she　inflicted　on　me
was　to　fall　on　her。　　Not　having　this　power　what　was　I　to　do？　　Kill
her？　　That　would　have　afforded　one　moment　of　exquisite
satisfactionbut　to　her　it　would　have　been　simply　deathand　I
wanted　to　kill　the　heart。〃

He　seemed　working　with　an　insane　passion；　so　that　I　regarded　him
with　disgust；　mingled　with　some　doubts　as　to　what　horrors　he　was
about　to　relate。

〃My　plan　was　chosen。　　The　only　way　to　reach　her　heart　was　to　strike
through　her　husband。　　For　several　hours　daily　I　practised　with　the
pistol；　untilin　spite　of　only　having　a　left　handI　acquired
fatal　skill。　　But　this　was　not　enough。　　Firing　at　a　mark　is　simple
work。　　Firing　at　a　manespecially　one　holding　a　pistol　pointed　at
youis　altogether　different。　　I　had　too　often　heard　of　'crack
shots'　missing　their　men；　to　rely　confidently　on　my　skill　in　the
shooting　gallery。　　It　was　necessary　that　my　eye　and　hand　should　be
educated　to　familiarity　with　the　real　object。　　Part　of　the　cause
why　duelists　miss　their　man　is　from　the　trepidation　of　fear。　　I　was
without　fear。　　At　no　moment　in　my　life　have　I　been　afraid；　and　the
chance　of　being　shot　by　Korinski　I　counted　as　nothing。　　The　other
cause　is　unfamiliarity　with　the　mark。　　This　I　secured　myself
against　by　getting　a　lay　figure　of　Korinski's　height；　dressing　it
to　resemble　him；　placing　a　pistol　in　its　hand；　and　then　practising
at　this　mark　in　the　woods。　　After　a　short　time　I　could　send　a
bullet　through　the　thorax　without　taking　more　than　a　hasty　glance
at　the　figure。

〃Thus　prepared；　I　started　for　Paris。　　But　you　will　feel　for　me　when
you　learn　that　my　hungry　heart　was　baffled　of　its　vengeance；　and
baffled　for　ever。　　Agalma　had　been　carried　off　by　scarlet　fever。
Korinski　had　left　Paris；　and　I　felt　no　strong　promptings　to　follow
him；　and　wreak　on　him　a　futile　vengeance。　　It　was　on　HER　my　wrath
had　been　concentrated；　and　I　gnashed　my　teeth　at　the　thought　that
she　had　escaped　me。

〃My　story　is　ended。　　The　months　of　gloomy　depression　which
succeeded；　now　that　I　was　no　longer　sustained　by　the　hope　of
vengeance；　I　need　not　speak　of。　　My　existence　was　desolate；　and
even　now　the　desolation　continues　over　the　whole　region　of　the
emotions。　　I　carry　a　dead　heart　within　me。〃


VIII

A　SECOND　VICTIM


Bourgonef's　story　has　been　narrated　with　some　fullness；　though　in
less　detail　than　he　told　it；　in　order　that　the　reader　may
understand　its　real　bearings　on　MY　story。　　Without　it；　the　motives
which　impelled　the　strange　pertinacity　of　my　pursuit　would　have
been　unintelligible。　　I　have　said　that　a　very　disagreeable
impression　remained　on　my　mind　respecting　certain　aspects　of　his
character；　and　I　felt　somewhat　ashamed　of　my　imperfect　sagacity　in
having　up　to　this　period　been　entirely　blind　to　those　aspects。　　The
truth　is；　every　human　being　is　a　mystery；　and　remains　so　to　the
last。　　We　fancy　we　know　a　character；　we　form　a　distinct　conception
of　it；　for　years　that　conception　remains　unmodified；　and　suddenly
the　strain　of　some　emergency；　of　the　incidental　stimulus　of　new
circumstances；　reveals　qualities　not　simply　unexpected；　but　flatly
contradictory　of　our　previous　conception。　　We　judge　of　a　man　by　the
angle　he　subtends　to　our　eyeonly　thus　CAN　we　judge　of　him；　and
this　angle　depends　on　the　relation　his　qualities　and　circumstances
bear　to　our　interests　and　sympathies。　　Bourgonef　had　charmed　me
intellectually；　morally　I　had　never　come　closer　to　him　than　in　the
sympathies　of　public　questions　and　abstract　theories。　　His　story
had　disclosed　hidden　depths。

My　old　suspicions　reappeared；　and　a　conversation　we　had　two　days
afterwards　helped　to　strengthen　them。

We　had　gone　on　a　visit　to　Schwanthaler；　the　sculptor；　at　his　tiny
little　castle　of　Schwaneck；　a　few　miles　from　Munich。　　The　artist
was　out　for　a　walk；　but　we　were　invited　to　come　in　and　await　his
return；　which　would　be　shortly；　and　meanwhile　Bourgonef　undertook
to　show　me　over　the　castle；　interesting　as　a　bit　of　modern　Gothic；
realizing　on　a　diminutive　scale　a　youthful　dream　of　the　sculptor's。
When　our　survey　was　completedand　it　did　not　take　longwe　sat　at
one　of　the　windows　and　enjoyed　a　magnificent　prospect。　　〃It　is
curious；〃　said　Bourgonef；　〃to　be　shut　up　here　in　this　imitation　of
medieval　masonry；　where　every　detail　speaks　of　the　dead　past；　and
to　think　of　the　events　now　going　on　in　Paris　which　must　find
imitators　all　over　Europe；　and　which　open　to　the　mind　such　vistas
of　the　future。　　What　a　grotesque　anachronism　is　this　Gothic　castle；
built　in　the　same　age　as　that　which　sees　a　reforming　pope！〃

〃Yes；　but　is　not　the　reforming　pope　himself　an　anachronism？〃

〃As　a　Catholic；〃　here　he　smiled；　intimating　that　his　orthodoxy　was
not　very　stringent；　〃I　cannot　admit　that；　as　a　Protestant；　you　must
admit　that　if　there　must　be　a　pope；　he　must　in　these　days　be　a
reformer；　orgive　up　his　temporal　power。　　Not　that　I　look　on　Pio
Nono　as　more　than　a　precursor；　he　may　break　ground；　and　point　the
way；　but　he　is　not　the　man　to　lead　Europe　out　of　its　present　slough
of　despond；　and　under　the　headship　of　the　Church　found　a　new　and
lasting　republic。　　We　want　a　Hildebrand；　one　who　will　be　to　the
nineteenth　century　as　Gregory　was　to　the　eleventh。〃

〃Do　you　believe　in　such　a　possibility？　　Do　you　think　the　Roman
pontiff　can　ever　again　sway　the　destinies　of　Europe？〃

〃I　can　hardly　say　I　believe　it；　yet　I　see　the　possibility　of　such
an　opening　if　the　right　man　were　to　arise。　　But　I　fear　he　will　not
arise；　or　if　he　should；　the　Conclave　will　stifle　him。　　Yet　there　is
but　one　alternative：　either　Europe　must　once　more　join　in　a　crusade
with　a　pope　at　the　head；　or　it　must　hoist　the　red　flag。　　There　is
no　other　issue。〃

〃Heaven　preserve　us　from　both！　　And　I　think　we　shall　be　preserved
from　the　Pope　by　the　rottenness　of　the　Church；　from　the　drapeau
rouge　by　the　indignation　and　horror　of　all　honest　men。　　You　see　how
the　Provisional　Government　has　resisted　the　insane　attempt　of　the
fanatics　to　make　the　red　flag　accepted　as　the　national　banner？〃

〃Yes；　and　it　is　the　one　thing　which　dashes　my　pleasure　in　the　new
revolution。　　It　is　the　one　act　of　weakness　which　the　Government　has
exhibited；　a　concession　which　will　be　fatal　unless　it　be　happily
set　aside　by　the　energetic　party　of　action。〃

〃An　act　of　weakness？　say　rather　an　act　of　strength。　　A　concession？
say　rather　the　repudiation　of　anarchy；　the　assertion　of　law　and
justice。〃

〃Not　a　bit。　　It　was　concession　to　the　fears　of　the　timid；　and　to
the　vanity　of　the　French　people。　　The　tricolor　is　a　French　flag
not　the　banner　of　humanity。　　It　is　because　the　tricolor　has　been
identified　with　the　victories　of　France　that　it　appeals　to　the
vanity　of　the　vainest　of　people。　　They　forget　that　it　is　the　flag
of　a　revolution　which　failed；　and　of　an　empire　which　was　one
perpetual　outrage　to　humanity。　　Whereas　the　red　is　new；　it　is　the
symbol　of　an　energetic；　thorough…going　c