went to kin' o' balancin' aroun' fust on one leg an' den on t'other； an'
smilin' at my big red turban； an' makin' fun； an' I ups an' says 'Git
along wid you！ rubbage！' De young man's face kin' o' changed； all of a
sudden； for 'bout a second but den he went to smilin' ag'in； same as he
was befo'。 Well； 'bout dis time； in comes some niggers dat played music
and b'long' to de ban'； an' dey never could git along widout puttin' on
airs。 An de very fust air dey put on dat night； I lit into em！ Dey
laughed； an' dat made me wuss。 De res' o' de niggers got to laughin'；
an' den my soul alive but I was hot！ My eye was jist a…blazin'！ I jist
straightened myself up sojist as I is now； plum to de ceilin'； mos'
an' I digs my fists into my hips； an' I says； 'Look…a…heah！' I says； 'I
want you niggers to understan' dat I wa'n't bawn in de mash to be fool'
by trash！ I's one o' de ole Blue hen's Chickens； I is！' an' den I see
dat young man stan' a…starin' an' stiff； lookin' kin' o' up at de ceilin'
like he fo'got somefin； an' couldn't 'member it no mo'。 Well； I jist
march' on dem niggersso； lookin' like a gen'lan' dey jist cave' away
befo' me an' out at de do'。 An' as dis young man a…goin' out； I heah him
say to another nigger； 'Jim；' he says； 'you go 'long an' tell de cap'n I
be on han' 'bout eight o'clock in de mawnin'； dey's somefin on my mine；'
he says； 'I don't sleep no mo' dis night。 You go 'long；' he says； 'an'
leave me by my own se'f。'
〃Dis was 'bout one o'clock in de mawnin'。 Well； 'bout seven； I was up
an' on han'； gittin' de officers' breakfast。 I was a…stoopin' down by de
stove jist so； same as if yo' foot was de stovean' I'd opened de stove
do' wid my right han'so； pushin' it back； jist as I pushes yo' foot
an' I'd jist got de pan o' hot biscuits in my han' an' was 'bout to raise
up； when I see a black face come aroun' under mine； an' de eyes a…lookin'
up into mine； jist as I's a…lookin' up clost under yo' face now； an' I
jist stopped right dah； an' never budged！ jist gazed an' gazed so； an' de
pan begin to tremble； an' all of a sudden I knowed！ De pan drop' on de
flo' an' I grab his lef' han' an' shove back his sleevejist so； as I's
doin' to youan' den I goes for his forehead an' push de hair back so；
an' 'Boy！' I says； 'if you an't my Henry； what is you doin' wid dis welt
on yo' wris' an' dat sk…yar on yo' forehead？ De Lord God ob heaven be
praise'； I got my own ag'in！'
〃Oh no' Misto C…； I hain't had no trouble。 An' no joy！〃
THE SIAMESE TWINS ＇Written about 1868。＇
I do not wish to write of the personal habits of these strange creatures
solely； but also of certain curious details of various kinds concerning
them； which； belonging only to their private life； have never crept into
print。 Knowing the Twins intimately； I feel that I am peculiarly well
qualified for the task I have taken upon myself。
The Siamese Twins are naturally tender and affectionate indisposition；
and have clung to each other with singular fidelity throughout a long and
eventful life。 Even as children they were inseparable companions； and it
was noticed that they always seemed to prefer each other's society to
that of any other persons。 They nearly always played together； and； so
accustomed was their mother to this peculiarity； that； whenever both of
them chanced to be lost； she usually only hunted for one of them
satisfied that when she found that one she would find his brother
somewhere in the immediate neighborhood。 And yet these creatures were
ignorant and unlettered…barbarians themselves and the offspring of
barbarians； who knew not the light of philosophy and science。 What a
withering rebuke is this to our boasted civilization； with its
quarrelings； its wranglings； and its separations of brothers！
As men； the Twins have not always lived in perfect accord； but still
there has always been a bond between them which made them unwilling to go
away from each other and dwell apart。 They have even occupied the same
house； as a general thing； and it is believed that they have never failed
to even sleep together on any night since they were born。 How surely do
the habits of a lifetime become second nature to us！ The Twins always go
to bed at the same time； but Chang usually gets up about an hour before
his brother。 By an understanding between themselves； Chang does all the
indoor work and Eng runs all the errands。 This is because Eng likes to
go out； Chang's habits are sedentary。 However； Chang always goes along。
Eng is a Baptist； but Chang is a Roman Catholic； still； to please his
brother； Chang consented to be baptized at the same time that Eng was； on
condition that it should not 〃count。〃 During the war they were strong
partisans； and both fought gallantly all through the great struggleEng
on the Union side and Chang on the Confederate。 They took each other
prisoners at Seven Oaks； but the proofs of capture were so evenly
balanced in favor of each； that a general army court had to be assembled
to determine which one was properly the captor and which the captive。
The jury was unable to agree for a long time； but the vexed question was
finally decided by agreeing to consider them both prisoners； and then
exchanging them。 At one time Chang was convicted of disobedience of
orders； and sentenced to ten days in the guard…house； but Eng； in spite
of all arguments； felt obliged to share his imprisonment； notwithstanding
he himself was entirely innocent； and so； to save the blameless brother
from suffering； they had to discharge both from custodythe just reward
of faithfulness。
Upon one occasion the brothers fell out about something； and Chang
knocked Eng down； and then tripped and fell on him； whereupon both
clinched and began to beat and gouge each other without mercy。 The
bystanders interfered； and tried to separate them； but they could not do
it； and so allowed them to fight it out。 In the end both were disabled；
and were carried to the hospital on one and the same shutter。
Their ancient habit of going always together had its drawbacks when they
reached man's estate； and entered upon the luxury of courting。 Both fell
in love with the same girl。 Each tried to steal clandestine interviews
with her； but at the critical moment the other would always turn up。
By and by Eng saw； with distraction； that Chang had won the girl's
affections； and； from that day forth； he had to bear with the agony of
being a witness to all their dainty billing and cooing。 But with a
magnanimity that did him infinite credit； he succumbed to his fate； and
gave countenance and encouragement to a state of things that bade fair to
sunder his generous heart…strings。 He sat from seven every evening until
two in the morning； listening to the fond foolishness of the two lovers；
and to the concussion of hundreds of squandered kissesfor the privilege
of sharing only one of which he would have given his right hand。 But he
sat patiently； and waited； and gaped； and yawned； and stretched； and
longed for two o'clock to come。 And he took long walks with the lovers
on moonlight eveningssometimes traversing ten miles； notwithstanding he
was usually suffering from rheumatism。 He is an inveterate smoker； but
he could not smoke on these occasions； because the young lady was
painfully sensitive to the smell of tobacco。 Eng cordially wanted them
married； and done with it； but although Chang often asked the momentous
question； the young lady could not gather sufficient courage to answer it
while Eng was by。 However； on one occasion； after having walked some
sixteen miles； and sat up till nearly daylight； Eng dropped asleep； from
sheer exhaustion； and then the question was asked and answered。 The
lovers were married。 All acquainted with the circumstance applauded the
noble brother…in…law。 His unwavering faithfulness was the theme of every
tongue。 He had stayed by them all through their long and arduous
courtship； and when at last they were married； he lifted his hands above
their heads； and said with impressive unction； 〃Bless ye； my children； I
will never desert ye！〃 and he kept his word。 Fidelity like this is all
too rare in this cold world。
By and by Eng fell in love with his sister…in…law's sister； and married
her； and since that day they have all lived together； night and day； in
an exceeding sociability which is touching and beautiful to behold； and
is a scathing rebuke to our boasted civilization。
The sympathy existing between these two brothers is so close and so
refined that the feelings； the impulses； the emotions of the one are
instantly experienced by the other。 When one is sick； the other is sick；
when one feels pain； the other feels it； when one is angered； the other's
temper takes fire。 We have already seen with what happy facility they
both fell in love with the same girl。 Now Chang is bitterly opposed to
all forms of intemperance； on principle； but Eng is the reversefor；
while these men's feelings and emotions are so closely wedded； their
reasoning faculties are unfettered； their thoughts are free。 Chang
belongs to the Good Templars； and is a hardworking； enthusiastic
supporter of all temperance reforms。 But； to his bitter distress； every
now and then Eng gets drunk； and； of course； that makes Chang drunk too。
This unfortunate thing has been a great sorrow to Chang； for it almost
destroys his usefulness in his favorite field of effort。 As sure as he
is to head a great temperance procession Eng ranges up alongside of him；
prompt to the minute； and drunk as a lord； but yet no more dismally and
hopelessly drunk than his brother； who has not tasted a drop。 And so the
two begin to hoot and yell； and throw mud and bricks at the Good
Templars； and； of course； they break up the procession。 It would be
manifestly wrong to punish Chang for what Eng does； and； therefore； the
Good Templars accept the untoward situation； and suffer in silence and
sorrow。 They have officially and deliberately examined into the matter；
and find Chang blameless。 They have taken the two brothers and filled
Chang full of warm water and sugar and Eng full of whisky； and in twenty…
five minutes it was not possible to tell whic