the lily of the valley- 第44部分

does　wrong　he　is　struck；　but　he　loves　the　hand　that　strikes　him；

strike　me；　bruise　me；　but　give　me　back　your　heart。〃



〃Poor　child；〃　she　said；　〃are　you　not　always　my　son？〃



She　took　my　arm　and　silently　rejoined　her　children；　with　whom　she

returned　to　Clochegourde；　leaving　me　to　the　count；　who　began　to　talk

politics　apropos　of　his　neighbors。



〃Let　us　go　in；〃　I　said；　〃you　are　bare…headed；　and　the　dew　may　do　you

an　injury。〃



〃You　pity　me；　my　dear　Felix；〃　he　answered；　〃you　understand　me；　but　my

wife　never　tries　to　comfort　me；on　principle；　perhaps。〃



Never　would　she　have　left　me　to　walk　home　with　her　husband；　it　was　now

I　who　had　to　find　excuses　to　join　her。　I　found　her　with　her　children；

explaining　the　rules　of　backgammon　to　Jacques。



〃See　there；〃　said　the　count；　who　was　always　jealous　of　the　affection

she　showed　for　her　children；　〃it　is　for　them　that　I　am　neglected。

Husbands；　my　dear　Felix；　are　always　suppressed。　The　most　virtuous

woman　in　the　world　has　ways　of　satisfying　her　desire　to　rob　conjugal

affection。〃



She　said　nothing　and　continued　as　before。



〃Jacques；〃　he　said；　〃come　here。〃



Jacques　objected　slightly。



〃Your　father　wants　you；　go　at　once；　my　son；〃　said　his　mother；　pushing

him。



〃They　love　me　by　order；〃　said　the　old　man；　who　sometimes　perceived　his

situation。



〃Monsieur；〃　she　answered；　passing　her　hand　over　Madeleine's　smooth

tresses；　which　were　dressed　that　day　〃a　la　belle　Ferronniere〃；　〃do　not

be　unjust　to　us　poor　women；　life　is　not　so　easy　for　us　to　bear。

Perhaps　the　children　are　the　virtues　of　a　mother。〃



〃My　dear；〃　said　the　count；　who　took　it　into　his　head　to　be　logical；

〃what　you　say　signifies　that　women　who　have　no　children　would　have　no

virtue；　and　would　leave　their　husbands　in　the　lurch。〃



The　countess　rose　hastily　and　took　Madeleine　to　the　portico。



〃That's　marriage；　my　dear　fellow；〃　remarked　the　count　to　me。　〃Do　you

mean　to　imply　by　going　off　in　that　manner　that　I　am　talking　nonsense？〃

he　cried　to　his　wife；　taking　his　son　by　the　hand　and　going　to　the

portico　after　her　with　a　furious　look　in　his　eyes。



〃On　the　contrary；　Monsieur；　you　frightened　me。　Your　words　hurt　me

cruelly；〃　she　added；　in　a　hollow　voice。　〃If　virtue　does　not　consist　in

sacrificing　everything　to　our　children　and　our　husband；　what　is

virtue？〃



〃Sac…ri…ficing！〃　cried　the　count；　making　each　syllable　the　blow　of　a

sledge…hammer　on　the　heart　of　his　victim。　〃What　have　you　sacrificed　to

your　children？　What　do　you　sacrifice　to　me？　Speak！　what　means　all

this？　Answer。　What　is　going　on　here？　What　did　you　mean　by　what　you

said？〃



〃Monsieur；〃　she　replied；　〃would　you　be　satisfied　to　be　loved　for　love

of　God；　or　to　know　your　wife　virtuous　for　virtue's　sake？〃



〃Madame　is　right；〃　I　said；　interposing　in　a　shaken　voice　which

vibrated　in　two　hearts；　〃yes；　the　noblest　privilege　conferred　by

reason　is　to　attribute　our　virtues　to　the　beings　whose　happiness　is

our　work；　and　whom　we　render　happy；　not　from　policy；　nor　from　duty；

but　from　an　inexhaustible　and　voluntary　affection〃



A　tear　shone　in　Henriette's　eyes。



〃And；　dear　count；〃　I　continued；　〃if　by　chance　a　woman　is　involuntarily

subjected　to　feelings　other　than　those　society　imposes　on　her；　you

must　admit　that　the　more　irresistible　that　feeling　is；　the　more

virtuous　she　is　in　smothering　it；　in　sacrificing　herself　to　her

husband　and　children。　This　theory　is　not　applicable　to　me　who

unfortunately　show　an　example　to　the　contrary；　nor　to　you　whom　it　will

never　concern。〃



〃You　have　a　noble　soul；　Felix；〃　said　the　count；　slipping　his　arm；　not

ungracefully；　round　his　wife's　waist　and　drawing　her　towards　him　to

say：　〃Forgive　a　poor　sick　man；　dear；　who　wants　to　be　loved　more　than

he　deserves。〃



〃There　are　some　hearts　that　are　all　generosity；〃　she　said；　resting　her

head　upon　his　shoulder。　The　scene　made　her　tremble　to　such　a　degree

that　her　comb　fell；　her　hair　rolled　down；　and　she　turned　pale。　The

count；　holding　her　up；　gave　a　sort　of　groan　as　he　felt　her　fainting；

he　caught　her　in　his　arms　as　he　might　a　child；　and　carried　her　to　the

sofa　in　the　salon；　where　we　all　surrounded　her。　Henriette　held　my　hand

in　hers　as　if　to　tell　me　that　we　two　alone　knew　the　secret　of　that

scene；　so　simple　in　itself；　so　heart…rending　to　her。



〃I　do　wrong；〃　she　said　to　me　in　a　low　voice；　when　the　count　left　the

room　to　fetch　a　glass　of　orange…flower　water。　〃I　have　many　wrongs　to

repent　of　towards　you；　I　wished　to　fill　you　with　despair　when　I　ought

to　have　received　you　mercifully。　Dear；　you　are　kindness　itself；　and　I

alone　can　appreciate　it。　Yes；　I　know　there　is　a　kindness　prompted　by

passion。　Men　have　various　ways　of　being　kind；　some　from　contempt；

others　from　impulse；　from　calculation；　through　indolence　of　nature；

but　you；　my　friend；　you　have　been　absolutely　kind。〃



〃If　that　be　so；〃　I　replied；　〃remember　that　all　that　is　good　or　great

in　me　comes　through　you。　You　know　well　that　I　am　of　your　making。〃



〃That　word　is　enough　for　any　woman's　happiness；〃　she　said；　as　the

count　re…entered　the　room。　〃I　feel　better；〃　she　said；　rising；　〃I　want

air。〃



We　went　down　to　the　terrace；　fragrant　with　the　acacias　which　were

still　in　bloom。　She　had　taken　my　right　arm；　and　pressed　it　against　her

heart；　thus　expressing　her　sad　thoughts；　but　they　were；　she　said；　of　a

sadness　dear　to　her。　No　doubt　she　would　gladly　have　been　alone　with

me；　but　her　imagination；　inexpert　in　women's　wiles；　did　not　suggest　to

her　any　way　of　sending　her　children　and　the　count　back　to　the　house。

We　therefore　talked　on　indifferent　subjects；　while　she　pondered　a

means　of　pouring　a　few　last　thoughts　from　her　heart　to　mine。



〃It　is　a　long　time　since　I　have　driven　out；〃　she　said；　looking　at　the

beauty　of　the　evening。　〃Monsieur；　will　you　please　order　the　carriage

that　I　may　take　a　turn？〃



She　knew　that　after　evening　prayer　she　could　not　speak　with　me；　for

the　count　was　sure　to　want　his　backgammon。　She　might　have　returned　to

the　warm　and　fragrant　terrace　after　her　husband　had　gone　to　bed；　but

she　feared；　perhaps；　to　trust　herself　beneath　those　shadows；　or　to

walk　by　the　balustrade　where　our　eyes　could　see　the　course　of　the

Indre　through　the　dear　valley。　As　the　silent　and　sombre　vaults　of　a

cathedral　lift　the　soul　to　prayer；　so　leafy　ways；　lighted　by　the　moon；

perfumed　with　penetrating　odors；　alive　with　the　murmuring　noises　of

the　spring…tide；　stir　the　fibres　and　weaken　the　resolves　of　those　who

love。　The　country　calms　the　old；　but　excites　the　young。　We　knew　it

well。　Two　strokes　of　the　bell　announced　the　hour　of　prayer。　The

countess　shivered。



〃Dear　Henriette；　are　you　ill？〃



〃There　is　no　Henriette；〃　she　said。　〃Do　not　bring　her　back。　She　was

capricious　and　exacting；　now　you　have　a　friend　whose　courage　has　been

strengthened　by　the　words　which　heaven　itself　dictated　to　you。　We　will

talk　of　this　later。　We　must　be　punctual　at　prayers；　for　it　is　my　day

to　lead　them。〃



As　Madame　de　Mortsauf　said　the　words　in　which　she　begged　the　help　of

God　through　all　the　adversities　of　life；　a　tone　came　into　her　voice

which　struck　all　present。　Did　she　use　her　gift　of　second　sight　to

foresee　the　terrible　emotion　she　was　about　to　endure　through　my

forgetfulness　of　an　engagement　made　with　Arabella？



〃We　have　time　to　make　three　kings　before　the　horses　are　harnessed；〃

said　the　count；　dragging　me　back　to　the　salon。　〃You　can　go　and　drive

with　my　wife；　and　I'll　go　to　bed。〃



The　game　was　stormy；　like　all　others。　The　countess　heard　the　count's

voice　either　from　her　room　or　from　Madeleine's。



〃You　show　a　strange　hospitality；〃　she　said；　re…entering　the　salon。



I　looked　at　her　with　amazement；　I　could　not　get　accustomed　to　the

change　in　her；　formerly　she　would　have　been　most　careful　not　to

protect　me　against　the　count；　then　it　gladdened　her　that　I　should

share　her　sufferings　and　bear　them　with　patience　for　love　of　her。



〃I　would　give　my　life；〃　I　whispered　in　her　ear；　〃if　I　could　hear　you

say　again；　as　you　once　said；　'Poor　dear；　poor　dear！'〃



She　lowered　her　eyes；　remembering　the　moment　to　which　I　alluded；　yet

her　glance　turned　to　me　beneath　her　eyelids；　expressing　the　joy　of　a

woman　who　finds　the　mere　passing　tones　from　her　heart　preferred　to　the

delights　of　another　love。　The　count　was　losing　the　game；　he　said　he

was　tired；　as　an　excuse　to　give　it　up；　and　we　went　to　walk　on　the　lawn

while　waiting　for　the　carriage。　When　the　count　left　us；　such　pleasure

shone　on　my　face　that　Madame　de　Mortsauf　questioned　me　by　a　look　of

surprise　and　curiosity。



〃Henriette　does　exist；〃　I　said。　〃You　love　me　still。　You　wound　me　with

an　evident　intention　to　break　my　heart。　I　may　yet　be　happy！〃



〃There　was　but　a　fragment　of　that　poor　woman　left；　and　you　have　now

destroyed　even　that；〃　she　said。　〃God　be　praised；　he　gives　me　strength

to　bear　my　righteous　martyrdom。　Yes；　I　still　love　you；　and　I　might

have　erred；　the　English　woman　shows　me　the　abyss。〃



We　got　into　the　carriage　and　the　coachman　asked　for　orders。



〃Take　the　road　to　Chinon　by　the　avenue；　and　come　back　by　the

Charlemagne　moor　and　the　road　to　Sache。〃



〃What　day　is　it？〃　I　asked；　with　too　much　eagerness。



〃Saturday。〃



〃Then　don't　go　that　way；　madame；　the　road　will　be　crowded　with

poultry…men　and　their　carts　returning　from　Tours。〃



〃Do　as　I　told　you；〃　she　said　to　the　coachman。　We　knew　the　tones　of　our

voices　too　well　to　be　able　to　hide　from　each　other　our　least　emotion。

Henriette　understood　all。



〃You　did　not　think　of　the　poultry…men　when　you　appointed　this

evening；〃　she　said　with　a　tinge　of　irony。　〃Lady　Dudley　is　at　Tours；

and　she　is　coming　here　to　meet　you；　do　not　deny　it。　'What　day　is

it？the　poultry…mentheir　carts！'　Did　you　ever　take　notice　of　such

things　in　our　old　drives？〃



〃It　only　shows　that　at　Clochegourde　I　forget　everything；〃　I　answered；

simply。



〃She　is　coming　to　meet　you？〃



〃Yes。