the lily of the valley- 第37部分

its　shores；　the　rocks　of　the　summits；　storms　and　the　loitering　tribute

of　the　crystal　streams　alike　increase　it。　Yes；　when　love　comes　all

comes　to　love！



The　first　great　danger　over；　the　countess　and　I　grew　accustomed　to

illness。　In　spite　of　the　confusion　which　the　care　of　the　sick　entails；

the　count's　room；　once　so　untidy；　was　now　clean　and　inviting。　Soon　we

were　like　two　beings　flung　upon　a　desert　island；　for　not　only　do

anxieties　isolate；　but　they　brush　aside　as　petty　the　conventions　of

the　world。　The　welfare　of　the　sick　man　obliged　us　to　have　points　of

contact　which　no　other　circumstances　would　have　authorized。　Many　a

time　our　hands；　shy　or　timid　formerly；　met　in　some　service　that　we

rendered　to　the　countwas　I　not　there　to　sustain　and　help　my

Henriette？　Absorbed　in　a　duty　comparable　to　that　of　a　soldier　at　the

pickets；　she　forgot　to　eat；　then　I　served　her；　sometimes　on　her　lap；　a

hasty　meal　which　necessitated　a　thousand　little　attentions。　We　were

like　children　at　a　grave。　She　would　order　me　sharply　to　prepare

whatever　might　ease　the　sick　man's　suffering；　she　employed　me　in　a

hundred　petty　ways。　During　the　time　when　actual　danger　obscured；　as　it

does　during　the　battle；　the　subtile　distinctions　which　characterize

the　facts　of　ordinary　life；　she　necessarily　laid　aside　the　reserve

which　all　women；　even　the　most　unconventional；　preserve　in　their　looks

and　words　and　actions　before　the　world　or　their　own　family。　At　the

first　chirping　of　the　birds　she　would　come　to　relieve　my　watch；

wearing　a　morning　garment　which　revealed　to　me　once　more　the　dazzling

treasures　that　in　my　folly　I　had　treated　as　my　own。　Always　dignified；

nay　imposing；　she　could　still　be　familiar。



Thus　it　came　to　pass　that　we　found　ourselves　unconsciously　intimate；

half…married　as　it　were。　She　showed　herself　nobly　confiding；　as　sure

of　me　as　she　was　of　herself。　I　was　thus　taken　deeper　and　deeper　into

her　heart。　The　countess　became　once　more　my　Henriette；　Henriette

constrained　to　love　with　increasing　strength　the　friend　who　endeavored

to　be　her　second　soul。　Her　hand　unresistingly　met　mine　at　the　least

solicitation；　my　eyes　were　permitted　to　follow　with　delight　the　lines

of　her　beauty　during　the　long　hours　when　we　listened　to　the　count's

breathing；　without　driving　her　from　their　sight。　The　meagre　pleasures

which　we　allowed　ourselvessympathizing　looks；　words　spoken　in

whispers　not　to　wake　the　count；　hopes　and　fears　repeated　and　again

repeated；　in　short；　the　thousand　incidents　of　the　fusion　of　two　hearts

long　separatedstand　out　in　bright　array　upon　the　sombre　background

of　the　actual　scene。　Our　souls　knew　each　other　to　their　depths　under

this　test；　which　many　a　warm　affection　is　unable　to　bear；　finding　life

too　heavy　or　too　flimsy　in　the　close　bonds　of　hourly　intercourse。



You　know　what　disturbance　follows　the　illness　of　a　master；　how　the

affairs　of　life　seem　to　come　to　a　standstill。　Though　the　real　care　of

the　family　and　estate　fell　upon　Madame　de　Mortsauf；　the　count　was

useful　in　his　way；　he　talked　with　the　farmers；　transacted　business

with　his　bailiff；　and　received　the　rents；　if　she　was　the　soul；　he　was

the　body。　I　now　made　myself　her　steward　so　that　she　could　nurse　the

count　without　neglecting　the　property。　She　accepted　this　as　a　matter

of　course；　in　fact　without　thanking　me。　It　was　another　sweet　communion

to　share　her　family　cares；　to　transmit　her　orders。　In　the　evenings　we

often　met　in　her　room　to　discuss　these　interests　and　those　of　her

children。　Such　conversations　gave　one　semblance　the　more　to　our

transitory　marriage。　With　what　delight　she　encouraged　me　to　take　a

husband's　place；　giving　me　his　seat　at　table；　sending　me　to　talk　with

the　bailiff；all　in　perfect　innocence；　yet　not　without　that　inward

pleasure　the　most　virtuous　woman　in　the　world　will　feel　when　she　finds

a　course　where　strict　obedience　to　duty　and　the　satisfaction　of　her

wishes　are　combined。



Nullified；　as　it　were；　by　illness；　the　count　no　longer　oppressed　his

wife　or　his　household；　the　countess　then　became　her　natural　self；　she

busied　herself　with　my　affairs　and　showed　me　a　thousand　kindnesses。

With　what　joy　I　discovered　in　her　mind　a　thought；　vaguely　conceived

perhaps；　but　exquisitely　expressed；　namely；　to　show　me　the　full　value

of　her　person　and　her　qualities　and　make　me　see　the　change　that　would

come　over　her　if　she　lived　understood。　This　flower；　kept　in　the　cold

atmosphere　of　such　a　home；　opened　to　my　gaze；　and　to　mine　only；　she

took　as　much　delight　in　letting　me　comprehend　her　as　I　felt　in

studying　her　with　the　searching　eyes　of　love。　She　proved　to　me　in　all

the　trifling　things　of　daily　life　how　much　I　was　in　her　thoughts。

When；　after　my　turn　of　watching；　I　went　to　bed　and　slept　late；

Henriette　would　keep　the　house　absolutely　silent　near　me；　Jacques　and

Madeleine　played　elsewhere；　though　never　ordered　to　do　so；　she

invented　excuses　to　serve　my　breakfast　herselfah；　with　what

sparkling　pleasure　in　her　movements；　what　swallow…like　rapidity；　what

lynx…eyed　perception！　and　then！　what　carnation　on　her　cheeks；　what

quiverings　in　her　voice！



Can　such　expansions　of　the　soul　be　described　in　words？



Often　she　was　wearied　out；　but　if；　at　such　moments　of　lassitude　my

welfare　came　in　question；　for　me；　as　for　her　children；　she　found　fresh

strength　and　sprang　up　eagerly　and　joyfully。　How　she　loved　to　shed　her

tenderness　like　sunbeams　in　the　air！　Ah；　Natalie；　some　women　share　the

privileges　of　angels　here　below；　they　diffuse　that　light　which　Saint…

Martin；　the　mysterious　philosopher；　declared　to　be　intelligent；

melodious；　and　perfumed。　Sure　of　my　discretion；　Henriette　took

pleasure　in　raising　the　curtain　which　hid　the　future　and　in　showing　me

two　women　in　her；the　woman　bound　hand　and　foot　who　had　won　me　in

spite　of　her　severity；　and　the　woman　freed；　whose　sweetness　should

make　my　love　eternal！　What　a　difference。　Madame　de　Mortsauf　was　the

skylark　of　Bengal；　transported　to　our　cold　Europe；　mournful　on　its

perch；　silent　and　dying　in　the　cage　of　a　naturalist；　Henriette　was　the

singing　bird　of　oriental　poems　in　groves　beside　the　Ganges；　flying

from　branch　to　branch　like　a　living　jewel　amid　the　roses　of　a

volkameria　that　ever　blooms。　Her　beauty　grew　more　beautiful；　her　mind

recovered　strength。　The　continual　sparkle　of　this　happiness　was　a

secret　between　ourselves；　for　she　dreaded　the　eye　of　the　Abbe　Dominis；

the　representative　of　the　world；　she　masked　her　contentment　with

playfulness；　and　covered　the　proofs　of　her　tenderness　with　the　banner

of　gratitude。



〃We　have　put　your　friendship　to　a　severe　test；　Felix；　we　may　give　you

the　same　rights　we　give　to　Jacques；　may　we　not；　Monsieur　l'abbe？〃　she

said　one　day。



The　stern　abbe　answered　with　the　smile　of　a　man　who　can　read　the　human

heart　and　see　its　purity；　for　the　countess　he　always　showed　the

respect　mingled　with　adoration　which　the　angels　inspire。　Twice　during

those　fifty　days　the　countess　passed　beyond　the　limits　in　which　we

held　our　affection。　But　even　these　infringements　were　shrouded　in　a

veil；　never　lifted　until　the　final　hour　when　avowal　came。　One　morning；

during　the　first　days　of　the　count's　illness；　when　she　repented　her

harsh　treatment　in　withdrawing　the　innocent　privileges　she　had

formerly　granted　me；　I　was　expecting　her　to　relieve　my　watch。　Much

fatigued；　I　fell　asleep；　my　head　against　the　wall。　I　wakened　suddenly

at　the　touch　of　something　cool　upon　my　forehead　which　gave　me　a

sensation　as　if　a　rose　had　rested　there。　I　opened　my　eyes　and　saw　the

countess；　standing　a　few　steps　distant；　who　said；　〃I　have　just　come。〃

I　rose　to　leave　the　room；　but　as　I　bade　her　good…bye　I　took　her　hand；

it　was　moist　and　trembling。



〃Are　you　ill？〃　I　said。



〃Why　do　you　ask　that　question？〃　she　replied。



I　looked　at　her　blushing　and　confused。　〃I　was　dreaming；〃　I　replied。



Another　time；　when　Monsieur　Origet　had　announced　positively　that　the

count　was　convalescent；　I　was　lying　with　Jacques　and　Madeleine　on　the

step　of　the　portico　intent　on　a　game　of　spillikins　which　we　were

playing　with　bits　of　straw　and　hooks　made　of　pins；　Monsieur　de

Mortsauf　was　asleep。　The　doctor；　while　waiting　for　his　horse　to　be

harnessed；　was　talking　with　the　countess　in　the　salon。　Monsieur　Origet

went　away　without　my　noticing　his　departure。　After　he　left；　Henriette

leaned　against　the　window；　from　which　she　watched　us　for　some　time

without　our　seeing　her。　It　was　one　of　those　warm　evenings　when　the　sky

is　copper…colored　and　the　earth　sends　up　among　the　echoes　a　myriad

mingling　noises。　A　last　ray　of　sunlight　was　leaving　the　roofs；　the

flowers　in　the　garden　perfumed　the　air；　the　bells　of　the　cattle

returning　to　their　stalls　sounded　in　the　distance。　We　were　all

conforming　to　the　silence　of　the　evening　hour　and　hushing　our　voices

that　we　might　not　wake　the　count。　Suddenly；　I　heard　the　guttural　sound

of　a　sob　violently　suppressed；　I　rushed　into　the　salon　and　found　the

countess　sitting　by　the　window　with　her　handkerchief　to　her　face。　She

heard　my　step　and　made　me　an　imperious　gesture；　commanding　me　to　leave

her。　I　went　up　to　her；　my　heart　stabbed　with　fear；　and　tried　to　take

her　handkerchief　away　by　force。　Her　face　was　bathed　in　tears　and　she

fled　into　her　room；　which　she　did　not　leave　again　until　the　hour　for

evening　prayer。　When　that　was　over；　I　led　her　to　the　terrace　and　asked

the　cause　of　her　emotion；　she　affected　a　wild　gaiety　and　explained　it

by　the　news　Monsieur　Origet　had　given　her。



〃Henriette；　Henriette；　you　knew　that　news　when　I　saw　you　weeping。

Between　you　and　me　a　lie　is　monstrous。　Why　did　you　forbid　me　to　dry

your　tears？　were　they　mine？〃



〃I　was　thinking；〃　she　said；　〃that　for　me　this　illness　has　been　a　halt

in　pain。　Now　that　I　no　longer　fear　for　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　I　fear　for

myself。〃



She　was　right。　The　count's　recovery　was　soon　attested　by　the　return　of

his　fantastic　humor。　He　began　by　saying　that　neither　the　countess；　nor