the lily of the valley- 第1部分

The　Lily　of　the　Valley



by　Honore　de　Balzac



Translated　by　Katharine　Prescott　Wormeley







DEDICATION



　　To　Monsieur　J。　B。　Nacquart；

　　Member　of　the　Royal　Academy　of　Medicine。



　　Dear　DoctorHere　is　one　of　the　most　carefully　hewn　stones　in　the

　　second　course　of　the　foundation　of　a　literary　edifice　which　I　have

　　slowly　and　laboriously　constructed。　I　wish　to　inscribe　your　name

　　upon　it；　as　much　to　thank　the　man　whose　science　once　saved　me　as

　　to　honor　the　friend　of　my　daily　life。





De　Balzac。









THE　LILY　OF　THE　VALLEY











ENVOI



　　Felix　de　Vandenesse　to　Madame　la　Comtesse　Natalie　de　Manerville：



　　I　yield　to　your　wishes。　It　is　the　privilege　of　the　women　whom　we

　　love　more　than　they　love　us　to　make　the　men　who　love　them　ignore

　　the　ordinary　rules　of　common…sense。　To　smooth　the　frown　upon　their

　　brow；　to　soften　the　pout　upon　their　lips；　what　obstacles　we

　　miraculously　overcome！　We　shed　our　blood；　we　risk　our　future！



　　You　exact　the　history　of　my　past　life；　here　it　is。　But　remember

　　this；　Natalie；　in　obeying　you　I　crush　under　foot　a　reluctance

　　hitherto　unconquerable。　Why　are　you　jealous　of　the　sudden　reveries

　　which　overtake　me　in　the　midst　of　our　happiness？　Why　show　the

　　pretty　anger　of　a　petted　woman　when　silence　grasps　me？　Could　you

　　not　play　upon　the　contradictions　of　my　character　without　inquiring

　　into　the　causes　of　them？　Are　there　secrets　in　your　heart　which

　　seek　absolution　through　a　knowledge　of　mine？　Ah！　Natalie；　you　have

　　guessed　mine；　and　it　is　better　you　should　know　the　whole　truth。

　　Yes；　my　life　is　shadowed　by　a　phantom；　a　word　evokes　it；　it　hovers

　　vaguely　above　me　and　about　me；　within　my　soul　are　solemn　memories；

　　buried　in　its　depths　like　those　marine　productions　seen　in　calmest

　　weather　and　which　the　storms　of　ocean　cast　in　fragments　on　the

　　shore。



　　The　mental　labor　which　the　expression　of　ideas　necessitates　has

　　revived　the　old；　old　feelings　which　give　me　so　much　pain　when　they

　　come　suddenly；　and　if　in　this　confession　of　my　past　they　break　

　　forth　in　a　way　that　wounds　you；　remember　that　you　threatened　to

　　punish　me　if　I　did　not　obey　your　wishes；　and　do　not；　therefore；

　　punish　my　obedience。　I　would　that　this；　my　confidence；　might

　　increase　your　love。



Until　we　meet；



Felix。









CHAPTER　I



TWO　CHILDHOODS



To　what　genius　fed　on　tears　shall　we　some　day　owe　that　most　touching

of　all　elegies；the　tale　of　tortures　borne　silently　by　souls　whose

tender　roots　find　stony　ground　in　the　domestic　soil；　whose　earliest

buds　are　torn　apart　by　rancorous　hands；　whose　flowers　are　touched　by

frost　at　the　moment　of　their　blossoming？　What　poet　will　sing　the

sorrows　of　the　child　whose　lips　must　suck　a　bitter　breast；　whose

smiles　are　checked　by　the　cruel　fire　of　a　stern　eye？　The　tale　that

tells　of　such　poor　hearts；　oppressed　by　beings　placed　about　them　to

promote　the　development　of　their　natures；　would　contain　the　true

history　of　my　childhood。



What　vanity　could　I　have　wounded；I　a　child　new…born？　What　moral　or

physical　infirmity　caused　by　mother's　coldness？　Was　I　the　child　of

duty；　whose　birth　is　a　mere　chance；　or　was　I　one　whose　very　life　was　a

reproach？　Put　to　nurse　in　the　country　and　forgotten　by　my　family　for

over　three　years；　I　was　treated　with　such　indifference　on　my　return　to

the　parental　roof　that　even　the　servants　pitied　me。　I　do　not　know　to

what　feeling　or　happy　accident　I　owed　my　rescue　from　this　first

neglect；　as　a　child　I　was　ignorant　of　it；　as　a　man　I　have　not

discovered　it。　Far　from　easing　my　lot；　my　brother　and　my　two　sisters

found　amusement　in　making　me　suffer。　The　compact　in　virtue　of　which

children　hide　each　other's　peccadilloes；　and　which　early　teaches　them

the　principles　of　honor；　was　null　and　void　in　my　case；　more　than　that；

I　was　often　punished　for　my　brother's　faults；　without　being　allowed　to

prove　the　injustice。　The　fawning　spirit　which　seems　instinctive　in

children　taught　my　brother　and　sisters　to　join　in　the　persecutions　to

which　I　was　subjected；　and　thus　keep　in　the　good　graces　of　a　mother

whom　they　feared　as　much　as　I。　Was　this　partly　the　effect　of　a

childish　love　of　imitation；　was　it　from　a　need　of　testing　their

powers；　or　was　it　simply　through　lack　of　pity？　Perhaps　these　causes

united　to　deprive　me　of　the　sweets　of　fraternal　intercourse。



Disinherited　of　all　affection；　I　could　love　nothing；　yet　nature　had

made　me　loving。　Is　there　an　angel　who　garners　the　sighs　of　feeling

hearts　rebuffed　incessantly？　If　in　many　such　hearts　the　crushed

feelings　turn　to　hatred；　in　mine　they　condensed　and　hollowed　a　depth

from　which；　in　after　years；　they　gushed　forth　upon　my　life。　In　many

characters　the　habit　of　trembling　relaxes　the　fibres　and　begets　fear；

and　fear　ends　in　submission；　hence；　a　weakness　which　emasculates　a

man；　and　makes　him　more　or　less　a　slave。　But　in　my　case　these

perpetual　tortures　led　to　the　development　of　a　certain　strength；　which

increased　through　exercise　and　predisposed　my　spirit　to　the　habit　of

moral　resistance。　Always　in　expectation　of　some　new　griefas　the

martyrs　expected　some　fresh　blowmy　whole　being　expressed；　I　doubt

not；　a　sullen　resignation　which　smothered　the　grace　and　gaiety　of

childhood；　and　gave　me　an　appearance　of　idiocy　which　seemed　to　justify

my　mother's　threatening　prophecies。　The　certainty　of　injustice

prematurely　roused　my　pridethat　fruit　of　reasonand　thus；　no　doubt；

checked　the　evil　tendencies　which　an　education　like　mine　encouraged。



Though　my　mother　neglected　me　I　was　sometimes　the　object　of　her

solicitude；　she　occasionally　spoke　of　my　education　and　seemed　desirous

of　attending　to　it　herself。　Cold　chills　ran　through　me　at　such　times

when　I　thought　of　the　torture　a　daily　intercourse　with　her　would

inflict　upon　me。　I　blessed　the　neglect　in　which　I　lived；　and　rejoiced

that　I　could　stay　alone　in　the　garden　and　play　with　the　pebbles　and

watch　the　insects　and　gaze　into　the　blueness　of　the　sky。　Though　my

loneliness　naturally　led　me　to　reverie；　my　liking　for　contemplation

was　first　aroused　by　an　incident　which　will　give　you　an　idea　of　my

early　troubles。　So　little　notice　was　taken　of　me　that　the　governess

occasionally　forgot　to　send　me　to　bed。　One　evening　I　was　peacefully

crouching　under　a　fig…tree；　watching　a　star　with　that　passion　of

curiosity　which　takes　possession　of　a　child's　mind；　and　to　which　my

precocious　melancholy　gave　a　sort　of　sentimental　intuition。　My　sisters

were　playing　about　and　laughing；　I　heard　their　distant　chatter　like　an

accompaniment　to　my　thoughts。　After　a　while　the　noise　ceased　and

darkness　fell。　My　mother　happened　to　notice　my　absence。　To　escape

blame；　our　governess；　a　terrible　Mademoiselle　Caroline；　worked　upon　my

mother's　fears；told　her　I　had　a　horror　of　my　home　and　would　long　ago

have　run　away　if　she　had　not　watched　me；　that　I　was　not　stupid　but

sullen；　and　that　in　all　her　experience　of　children　she　had　never　known

one　of　so　bad　a　disposition　as　mine。　She　pretended　to　search　for　me。　I

answered　as　soon　as　I　was　called；　and　she　came　to　the　fig…tree；　where

she　very　well　knew　I　was。　〃What　are　you　doing　there？〃　she　asked。

〃Watching　a　star。〃　〃You　were　not　watching　a　star；〃　said　my　mother；　who

was　listening　on　her　balcony；　〃children　of　your　age　know　nothing　of

astronomy。〃　〃Ah；　madame；〃　cried　Mademoiselle　Caroline；　〃he　has　opened

the　faucet　of　the　reservoir；　the　garden　is　inundated！〃　Then　there　was

a　general　excitement。　The　fact　was　that　my　sisters　had　amused

themselves　by　turning　the　cock　to　see　the　water　flow；　but　a　sudden

spurt　wet　them　all　over　and　frightened　them　so　much　that　they　ran　away

without　closing　it。　Accused　and　convicted　of　this　piece　of　mischief

and　told　that　I　lied　when　I　denied　it；　I　was　severely　punished。　Worse

than　all；　I　was　jeered　at　for　my　pretended　love　of　the　stars　and

forbidden　to　stay　in　the　garden　after　dark。



Such　tyrannical　restrains　intensify　a　passion　in　the　hearts　of

children　even　more　than　in　those　of　men；　children　think　of　nothing　but

the　forbidden　thing；　which　then　becomes　irresistibly　attractive　to

them。　I　was　often　whipped　for　my　star。　Unable　to　confide　in　my　kind；　I

told　it　all　my　troubles　in　that　delicious　inward　prattle　with　which　we

stammer　our　first　ideas；　just　as　once　we　stammered　our　first　words。　At

twelve　years　of　age；　long　after　I　was　at　school；　I　still　watched　that

star　with　indescribable　delight；so　deep　and　lasting　are　the

impressions　we　receive　in　the　dawn　of　life。



My　brother　Charles；　five　years　older　than　I　and　as　handsome　a　boy　as

he　now　is　a　man；　was　the　favorite　of　my　father；　the　idol　of　my　mother；

and　consequently　the　sovereign　of　the　house。　He　was　robust　and　well…

made；　and　had　a　tutor。　I；　puny　and　even　sickly；　was　sent　at　five　years

of　age　as　day　pupil　to　a　school　in　the　town；　taken　in　the　morning　and

brought　back　at　night　by　my　father's　valet。　I　was　sent　with　a　scanty

lunch；　while　my　school…fellows　brought　plenty　of　good　food。　This

trifling　contrast　between　my　privations　and　their　prosperity　made　me

suffer　deeply。　The　famous　potted　pork　prepared　at　Tours　and　called

〃rillettes〃　and　〃rillons〃　was　the　chief　feature　of　their　mid…day　meal；

between　the　early　breakfast　and　the　parent's　dinner；　which　was　ready

when　we　returned　from　school。　This　preparation　of　meat；　much　prized　by

certain　gourmands；　is　seldom　seen　at　Tours　on　aristocratic　tables；　if

I　had　ever　heard　of　it　before　I　went　to　school；　I　certainly　had　never

had　the　happiness　of　seeing　that　brown　mess　spread　on　slices　of　bread

and　butter。　Nevertheless；　my　desire　for　those　〃rillons〃　was　so　great

that　it　grew　to　be　a　fixed　idea；　like　the　longing　of　an　elegant

Parisian　duchess　for　the　stews　cooked　by　a　porter's　wife；longings

which；　being　a　woman；　she　found　means　to　satisfy。　Children　guess　each

other's　covetousness；　just　as　you　are　able　to　read　a　man's　love；　by

the　look　in　the　eyes；