order that I may requite those people who during the whole time have
fed and clothed； yes； and who even now continue to feed and clothe
me？〃 Had the question then stood as it stands before me now； after
I have repented；〃What am I； so corrupt a man； to do？〃 the answer
would have been easy： 〃To strive； first of all； to support myself
honestly； that is； to learn not to live upon others； and while I am
learning； and when I have learned this； to render aid on all
possible occasions to the people； with my hands； and my feet； and my
brain； and my heart； and with every thing to which the people should
present a claim。〃
And therefore I say； that for the man of our circle； in addition to
not lying to himself or to others； repentance is also necessary； and
that he should scrape from himself that pride which has sprung up in
us； in our culture； in our refinements； in our talents； and that he
should confess that he is not a benefactor of the people and a
distinguished man； who does not refuse to share with the people his
useful acquirements； but that he should confess himself to be a
thoroughly guilty； corrupt； and good…for…nothing man； who desires to
reform himself and not to behave benevolently towards the people；
but simply to cease wounding and insulting them。
I often hear the questions of good young men who sympathize with the
renunciatory part of my writings； and who ask； 〃Well； and what then
shall I do？ What am I to do； now that I have finished my course in
the university； or in some other institution； in order that I may be
of use？〃 Young men ask this； and in the depths of their soul it is
already decided that the education which they have received
constitutes their privilege and that they desire to serve the people
precisely by means of thus superiority。 And hence； one thing which
they will in no wise do； is to bear themselves honestly and
critically towards that which they call their culture； and ask
themselves； are those qualities which they call their culture good
or bad？ If they will do this； they will infallibly be led to see
the necessity of renouncing their culture； and the necessity of
beginning to learn all over again； and this is the one indispensable
thing。 They can in no wise solve the problem； 〃What to do？〃 because
this question does not stand before them as it should stand。 The
question must stand thus： 〃In what manner am I； a helpless； useless
man； who； owing to the misfortune of my conditions； have wasted my
best years of study in conning the scientific Talmud which corrupts
soul and body； to correct this mistake； and learn to serve the
people？〃 But it presents itself to them thus： 〃How am I； a man who
has acquired so much very fine learning； to turn this very fine
learning to the use of the people？〃 And such a man will never
answer the question； 〃What is to be done？〃 until he repents。 And
repentance is not terrible； just as truth is not terrible； and it is
equally joyful and fruitful。 It is only necessary to accept the
truth wholly； and to repent wholly； in order to understand that no
one possesses any rights； privileges； or peculiarities in the matter
of this life of ours； but that there are no ends or bounds to
obligation； and that a man's first and most indubitable duty is to
take part in the struggle with nature for his own life and for the
lives of others。
And this confession of a man's obligation constitutes the gist of
the third answer to the question； 〃What is to be done？〃
I tried not to lie to myself： I tried to cast out from myself the
remains of my false conceptions of the importance of my education
and talents； and to repent； but on the way to a decision of the
question； 〃What to do？〃 a fresh difficulty arose。 There are so many
different occupations； that an indication was necessary as to the
precise one which was to be adopted。 And the answer to this
question was furnished me by sincere repentance for the evil in
which I had lived。
〃What to do？ Precisely what to do？〃 all ask； and that is what I
also asked so long as； under the influence of my exalted idea of any
own importance； I did not perceive that my first and unquestionable
duty was to feed myself； to clothe myself； to furnish my own fuel；
to do my own building； and； by so doing； to serve others； because；
ever since the would has existed； the first and indubitable duty of
every man has consisted and does consist in this。
In fact； no matter what a man may have assumed to be his vocation；
whether it be to govern people； to defend his fellow…countrymen； to
divine service； to instruct others； to invent means to heighten the
pleasures of life； to discover the laws of the world； to incorporate
eternal truths in artistic representations；the duty of a
reasonable man is to take part in the struggle with nature； for the
sustenance of his own life and of that of others。 This obligation
is the first of all； because what people need most of all is their
life； and therefore； in order to defend and instruct the people； and
render their lives more agreeable； it is requisite to preserve that
life itself； while my refusal to share in the struggle； my monopoly
of the labors of others； is equivalent to annihilation of the lives
of others。 And； therefore； it is not rational to serve the lives of
men by annihilating the lives of men； and it is impossible to say
that I am serving men； when； by my life； I am obviously injuring
them。
A man's obligation to struggle with nature for the acquisition of
the means of livelihood will always be the first and most
unquestionable of all obligations； because this obligation is a law
of life； departure from which entails the inevitable punishment of
either bodily or mental annihilation of the life of man。 If a man
living alone excuses himself from the obligation of struggling with
nature； he is immediately punished； in that his body perishes。 But
if a man excuses himself from this obligation by making other people
fulfil it for him； then also he is immediately punished by the
annihilation of his mental life； that is to say； of the life which
possesses rational thought。
In this one act； man receivesif the two things are to be
separatedfull satisfaction of the bodily and spiritual demands of
his nature。 The feeding； clothing； and taking care of himself and
his family； constitute the satisfaction of the bodily demands and
requirements； and doing the same for other people； constitutes the
satisfaction of his spiritual requirements。 Every other employment
of man is only legal when it is directed to the satisfaction of this
very first duty of man； for the fulfilment of this duty constitutes
the whole life of man。
I had been so turned about by my previous life； this first and
indubitable law of God or of nature is so concealed in our sphere of
society； that the fulfilment of this law seemed to me strange；
terrible； even shameful； as though the fulfilment of an eternal；
unquestionable law； and not the departure from it； can be terrible；
strange； and shameful。
At first it seemed to me that the fulfilment of this matter required
some preparation； arrangement or community of men； holding similar
views；the consent of one's family； life in the country； it seemed
to me disgraceful to make a show of myself before people； to
undertake a thing so improper in our conditions of existence； as
bodily toil； and I did not know how to set about it。 But it was
only necessary for me to understand that this is no exclusive
occupation which requires to be invented and arranged for； but that
this employment was merely a return from the false position in which
I found myself； to a natural one； was only a rectification of that
lie in which I was living。 I had only to recognize this fact； and
all these difficulties vanished。 It was not in the least necessary
to make preparations and arrangements； and to await the consent of
others； for； no matter in what position I had found myself； there
had always been people who had fed； clothed and warmed me； in
addition to themselves； and everywhere； under all conditions； I
could do the same for myself and for them； if I had the time and the
strength。 Neither could I experience false shame in an unwonted
occupation； no matter how surprising it might be to people； because；
through not doing it； I had already experienced not false but real
shame。
And when I had reached this confession and the practical deduction
from it； I was fully rewarded for not having quailed before the
deductions of reason； and for following whither they led me。 On
arriving at this practical deduction； I was amazed at the ease and
simplicity with which all the problems which had previously seemed
to me so difficult and so complicated； were solved。
To the question； 〃What is it necessary to do？〃 the most indubitable
answer presented itself： first of all； that which it was necessary
for me to do was； to attend to my own samovar； my own stove； my own
water； my own clothing； to every thing that I could do for myself。
To the question； 〃Will it not seem strange to people if you do
this？〃 it appeared that this strangeness lasted only a week； and
after the lapse of that week； it would have seemed strange had I
returned to my former conditions of life。 With regard to the
question； 〃Is it necessary to organize this physical labor； to
institute an association in the country； on my land？〃 it appeared
that nothing of the sort was necessary； that labor； if it does not
aim at the acquisition of all possible leisure； and the enjoyment of
the labor of others；like the labor of people bent on accumulating
money；but if it have for its object the satisfaction of
requirements； will itself be drawn from the city to the country； to
the land； where this labor is the most fruitful and cheerful。 But
it is not requisite to institute any association； because the man
who labors； naturally and of himself； attaches himself to the
existing association of laboring men。
To the question； whether this labor would not monopolize all my
time； and deprive me of those intellectual pursuits which I love； to
which I am accustomed； and which； in my moments of self…conceit； I
regard as not useless to o