《in the cage》

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in the cage- 第12部分


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〃I'd do anything for you。  I'd do anything for you。〃  Never in her

life had she known anything so high and fine as this; just letting

him have it and bravely and magnificently leaving it。  Didn't the

place; the associations and circumstances; perfectly make it sound

what it wasn't? and wasn't that exactly the beauty?



So she bravely and magnificently left it; and little by little she

felt him take it up; take it down; as if they had been on a satin

sofa in a boudoir。  She had never seen a boudoir; but there had

been lots of boudoirs in the telegrams。  What she had said at all

events sank into him; so that after a minute he simply made a

movement that had the result of placing his hand on her own

presently indeed that of her feeling herself firmly enough grasped。

There was no pressure she need return; there was none she need

decline; she just sat admirably still; satisfied for the time with

the surprise and bewilderment of the impression she made on him。

His agitation was even greater on the whole than she had at first

allowed for。  〃I say; you know; you mustn't think of leaving!〃 he

at last broke out。



〃Of leaving Cocker's; you mean?〃



〃Yes; you must stay on there; whatever happens; and help a fellow。〃



She was silent a little; partly because it was so strange and

exquisite to feel him watch her as if it really mattered to him and

he were almost in suspense。  〃Then you HAVE quite recognised what

I've tried to do?〃 she asked。



〃Why; wasn't that exactly what I dashed over from my door just now

to thank you for?〃



〃Yes; so you said。〃



〃And don't you believe it?〃



She looked down a moment at his hand; which continued to cover her

own; whereupon he presently drew it back; rather restlessly folding

his arms。  Without answering his question she went on:  〃Have you

ever spoken of me?〃



〃Spoken of you?〃



〃Of my being thereof my knowing; and that sort of thing。〃



〃Oh never to a human creature!〃 he eagerly declared。



She had a small drop at this; which was expressed in another pause;

and she then returned to what he had just asked her。  〃Oh yes; I

quite believe you like itmy always being there and our taking

things up so familiarly and successfully:  if not exactly where we

left them;〃 she laughed; 〃almost always at least at an interesting

point!〃  He was about to say something in reply to this; but her

friendly gaiety was quicker。  〃You want a great many things in

life; a great many comforts and helps and luxuriesyou want

everything as pleasant as possible。  Therefore; so far as it's in

the power of any particular person to contribute to all that〃

She had turned her face to him smiling; just thinking。



〃Oh see here!〃  But he was highly amused。  〃Well; what then?〃 he

enquired as if to humour her。



〃Why the particular person must never fail。  We must manage it for

you somehow。〃



He threw back his head; laughing out; he was really exhilarated。

〃Oh yes; somehow!〃



〃Well; I think we each dodon't we?in one little way and another

and according to our limited lights。  I'm pleased at any rate; for

myself; that you are; for I assure you I've done my best。〃



〃You do better than any one!〃  He had struck a match for another

cigarette; and the flame lighted an instant his responsive finished

face; magnifying into a pleasant grimace the kindness with which he

paid her this tribute。  〃You're awfully clever; you know; cleverer;

cleverer; cleverer!〃  He had appeared on the point of making some

tremendous statement; then suddenly; puffing his cigarette and

shifting almost with violence on his seat; he let it altogether

fall。







CHAPTER XVII







In spite of this drop; if not just by reason of it; she felt as if

Lady Bradeen; all but named out; had popped straight up; and she

practically betrayed her consciousness by waiting a little before

she rejoined:  〃Cleverer than who?〃



〃Well; if I wasn't afraid you'd think I swagger; I should saythan

anybody!  If you leave your place there; where shall you go?〃 he

more gravely asked。



〃Oh too far for you ever to find me!〃



〃I'd find you anywhere。〃



The tone of this was so still more serious that she had but her one

acknowledgement。  〃I'd do anything for youI'd do anything for

you;〃 she repeated。  She had already; she felt; said it all; so

what did anything more; anything less; matter?  That was the very

reason indeed why she could; with a lighter note; ease him

generously of any awkwardness produced by solemnity; either his own

or hers。  〃Of course it must be nice for you to be able to think

there are people all about who feel in such a way。〃



In immediate appreciation of this; however; he only smoked without

looking at her。  〃But you don't want to give up your present work?〃

he at last threw out。  〃I mean you WILL stay in the post…office?〃



〃Oh yes; I think I've a genius for that。〃



〃Rather!  No one can touch you。〃  With this he turned more to her

again。  〃But you can get; with a move; greater advantages?〃



〃I can get in the suburbs cheaper lodgings。  I live with my mother。

We need some space。  There's a particular place that has other

inducements。〃



He just hesitated。  〃Where is it?〃



〃Oh quite out of YOUR way。  You'd never have time。〃



〃But I tell you I'd go anywhere。  Don't you believe it?〃



〃Yes; for once or twice。  But you'd soon see it wouldn't do for

you。〃



He smoked and considered; seemed to stretch himself a little and;

with his legs out; surrender himself comfortably。  〃Well; well;

wellI believe everything you say。  I take it from youanything

you likein the most extraordinary way。〃  It struck her certainly…

…and almost without bitternessthat the way in which she was

already; as if she had been an old friend; arranging for him and

preparing the only magnificence she could muster; was quite the

most extraordinary。  〃Don't; DON'T go!〃 he presently went on。  〃I

shall miss you too horribly!〃



〃So that you just put it to me as a definite request?〃oh how she

tried to divest this of all sound of the hardness of bargaining!

That ought to have been easy enough; for what was she arranging to

get?  Before he could answer she had continued:  〃To be perfectly

fair I should tell you I recognise at Cocker's certain strong

attractions。  All you people come。  I like all the horrors。〃



〃The horrors?〃



〃Those you allyou know the set I mean; YOUR setshow me with as

good a conscience as if I had no more feeling than a letter…box。〃



He looked quite excited at the way she put it。  〃Oh they don't

know!〃



〃Don't know I'm not stupid?  No; how should they?〃



〃Yes; how should they?〃 said the Captain sympathetically。  〃But

isn't 'horrors' rather strong?〃



〃What you DO is rather strong!〃 the girl promptly returned。



〃What I do?〃



〃Your extravagance; your selfishness; your immorality; your

crimes;〃 she pursued; without heeding his expression。



〃I SAY!〃her companion showed the queerest stare。



〃I like them; as I tell youI revel in them。  But we needn't go

into that;〃 she quietly went on; 〃for all I get out of it is the

harmless pleasure of knowing。  I know; I know; I know!〃she

breathed it ever so gently。



〃Yes; that's what has been between us;〃 he answered much more

simply。



She could enjoy his simplicity in silence; and for a moment she did

so。  〃If I do stay because you want itand I'm rather capable of

thatthere are two or three things I think you ought to remember。

One is; you know; that I'm there sometimes for days and weeks

together without your ever coming。〃



〃Oh I'll come every day!〃 he honestly cried。



She was on the point; at this; of imitating with her hand his

movement of shortly before; but she checked herself; and there was

no want of effect in her soothing substitute。  〃How can you?  How

can you?〃  He had; too manifestly; only to look at it there; in the

vulgarly animated gloom; to see that he couldn't; and at this

point; by the mere action of his silence; everything they had so

definitely not named; the whole presence round which they had been

circling; became part of their reference; settled in solidly

between them。  It was as if then for a minute they sat and saw it

all in each other's eyes; saw so much that there was no need of a

pretext for sounding it at last。  〃Your danger; your danger!〃

Her voice indeed trembled with it; and she could only for the

moment again leave it so。



During this moment he leaned back on the bench; meeting her in

silence and with a face that grew more strange。  It grew so strange

that after a further instant she got straight up。  She stood there

as if their talk were now over; and he just sat and watched her。

It was as if nowowing to the third person they had brought in

they must be more careful; so that the most he could finally say

was:  〃That's where it is!〃



〃That's where it is!〃 the girl as guardedly replied。  He sat still;

and she added:  〃I won't give you up。  Good…bye。〃



〃Good…bye?〃he appealed; but without moving。



〃I don't quite see my way; but I won't give you up;〃 she repeated。

〃There。  Good…bye。〃



It brought him with a jerk to his feet; tossing away his cigarette。

His poor face was flushed。  〃See heresee here!〃



〃No; I won't; but I must leave you now;〃 she went on as if not

hearing him。



〃See heresee here!〃  He tried; from the bench; to take her hand

again。



But that definitely settled it for her:  this would; after all; be

as bad as his asking her to supper。  〃You mustn't come with meno;

no!〃



He sank back; quite blank; as if she had pushed him。  〃I mayn't see

you home?〃



〃No; no; let me go。〃  He looked almost as if she had struck him;

but she didn't care; and the manner in which she spokeit was

literally as if she were angryhad the force of a command。  〃Stay

where you are!〃



〃See heresee here!〃 he
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