his rational mind did not say； “I could have told you； but you wouldn’t have
listened。” He simply peacefully saw that they now understood and there was
nothing to be said。 He could continue to enjoy the new act in the drama。
This story does not tell us that we must never give our side of things in any
situation。 It simply says that when you are conscious； you have a choice as to
whether to get in a discussion because you know in advance whether the
argument will bring you and the other person into a closer state of love and
oneness or whether it will separate you。 Under the circumstances； the Zen
Master’s reply； “Ah so；” was the best reply to produce the closest harmony
that could be obtained in that situation。 Later he willingly and lovingly gave
the child up without recriminations。 For all concerned this also represented a
flowingly harmonious thing to do。 Most people with whom you interact will
be more open than the parents of the pregnant girl。 Usually you will be able
to use the Seventh Pathway； which tells you to open yourself pletely to
other people。 But also use the Ninth Pathway； to open yourself in a centered；
calm； and loving way。
As you learn to increasingly identify yourself with your Conscious…awareness；
you will find that your rational mind bees a useful tool that is somewhat
on a par with your other senses。 In conjunction with your stored memories； it
is the sense that produces hypotheses； theories； conjectures； and possibilities。
You know that just as your eyes or ears can mislead you； your rational mind
can equally mislead you。
As your addictions are upleveled to preferences； you will find that your
senses and your rational mind will have less distortion and will cooperate
more to help your life work。 You will then be enjoying your birthright as a
human being。 You will be the master of your emotions； your ego； and your
rational mind。 This is one of the greatest things any human being can do。 It
may be beautiful to paint great pictures； erect tall buildings； or write great
novels。 But to bee the master of yourself is an even higher contribution
to all mankind and to yourself as well。 And from this place； your external
achievement will be even more tuned in to the energy flow of the world。
Chapter 18
The Illusion of Self
There are many paths leading to the top of the mountain of consciousness。 It
is important for you to find your path and then stay with that path even
when you find the going rough。 One of ego’s tricks is to make you doubt
whether your path will work。 It will work if you will work。
It may be helpful to take a look at three factors that represent aspects of
consciousness growth。 These factors are systematically intertwined so that an
advance with any one of them will automatically provide a forward step with
the other two factors：
1。 Eliminating your addictive demands。
2。 Quieting your rational mind。
3。 Disidentifying with the “self” which your ego guards so
constantly。
The Living Love Way concentrates its techniques on the first factor above。
The Five Methods enable you to eliminate addictions that create an
“adrenalized” consciousness which makes you throw people out of your
heart。 Your addictive demands soak up your energy by making you
pulsively run toward things or away from things； destroy your insight and
perceptiveness； remove your consciousness from the here and now by
keeping you preoccupied with the past and future； and turn off the energy of
people around you who might otherwise be able to love and help you。
The Methods of Living Love concentrate on showing you how to make rapid
progress in eliminating emotion…backed demands that keep you constantly on
the pleasure…pain roller…coaster。 When you see the cause…effect relationship
between your addictions and your suffering； you can constructively use your
suffering to reprogram rapidly。 You thus tend to work with a higher level of
dynamic energy that you can channel into boosting your rate of consciousness
growth。 For many people； this is much faster that working directly on
quieting the mind or dropping away the self。 And since an increase of any
one factor accelerates the realization of the other two factors； eliminating
your addictions may also be your most rapid technique for calming your mind
or knowing what you really are。
One of the great approaches to the mountain of consciousness involves the
letting go of the “self” with which we are identifying and which we protect so
laboriously。 And progress in disidentifying with the myriad of things we
contain within our self boundary also helps us quiet the mind and drop away
addictive demands。
As children； we learn to experience a territory that we call “myself” or
“mine。” This “self” is considered to be bounded by our skin； although we
experience extensions of the “self” with concepts such as my toys； my room；
my dog； my clothes； my friend； my reputation； etc。 We feel that everything is
mine or not mine。 And we generate the experience of alienation and anger
towards people when they appear to encroach on territory we consider our
own。
Since the ego is constantly busy protecting the territory it has defined as
“mine；” it can never relax into the here and now。 It must always be securing
its future happiness。 This continuous activity reinforces the sensation of an
“I” or “me” or “self” to whom the territory belongs； and to whom painful
experiences are always threatening to happen。 One’s programming reinforced
by memory thus forces the ego to continually protect its territory which it
identifies as “self。”
The frequency with which one’s bioputer is running off addictive
programs creates the illusion that this “I” or “self” is an entity a
“somebody” rather than a robot…like activity。 When this activity of “I” or
“self” is recognized as an activity rather than an entity； we begin to see that
we are responsible for our suffering。 The “I” is this activity of defense。
When we stop defending； there is no more “I” or “self。”
We work hard to make ourselves suffer。 It’s a full…time job with no time off
even on vacations！ As this activity and basic attitude of addictively securing
one’s future happiness begins to be reprogrammed； the “I” loses its purpose
and begins to merge with what is here and now。
Depending on one’s security； sensation； and power profile； the self boundary
is drawn at different places with different people。 For example； a man may
defend as a part of himself various patriarchal feelings towards women that
involve domination； control； and masculine superiority。 Another man may not
identify his self boundary with these subject…object relationships； but instead
he experiences as essentially like himself all beings who happen to be
encased in female bodies。 Thus the area that we regard as part of our “self”
will fluctuate； depending upon the attitudes and concepts one has acquired
and the stage of consciousness development one is in。
If we would understand the nature of this experience that we regard as
“myself；” it may be helpful to realize that the self boundaries we defend are
like boils on our skin。 A boil is a part of us and yet it is not a part of us。 It
is just a functional thing that arises and that can pass away。 It is not a
structural part of our body like our liver or bones or eyes。 Like a boil； the self
concepts that we pick up in our cultural milieu cause a lot of pain and
messiness。 And also like a boil on our skin； the “self” will dissolve in its own
way as we get healthier。
One might ask； “How could this experience of ‘self’ be such an impermanent
part of us when it is felt so strongly？” Our experience of “self” is created by
the frequency with which our ego is defending our security； sensation； and
power addictions。 Since these lower three Centers of Consciousness
determine most of our experience before we begin to grow toward higher
consciousness； our minds are moment…by…moment reinforcing the boundaries
of this impermanent experience of “self。” The waves of the here and now are
constantly trying to wash away this boundary of “self” that we are
maintaining by our addictions and our stored memories。 But we keep
drawing a self boundary in the addictive sand of our personality so that it is
continually defined and redefined in our experience。
With each addiction that you are successful in upleveling to a preference； you
will find that a hunk of this “self” disappears。 Instead of experiencing people
as objects； you increasingly feel them as “us” or “like me。” Gradually； with
the upleveling of almost all of your addictions into preferences； this sharply
defined experience of “self” leaves you。 You then begin to identify with other
people even when they do something that previously would have triggered an
angry response in you。 You just see that they are doing something that you
have done hundreds or thousands of times and you do not throw them out
of your heart。
When you are heavily addicted； your experience of “self” is solid like a block
of ice。 When you have succeeded in reprogramming almost all of your
addictions into preferences； your “self” loses its rockness and begins to have
the adaptability and clarity of water。 When one is operating primarily on
preferences； the hardness melts and instead there is a conscious fluidity。 In
this state； like water； your sense of “self” is infinitely flexible to
acmodate itself to your here…and…now surroundings。 But there is still a
gentle experience of “self” even at the Fourth through Sixth Centers of
Consciousness。 All of the intense separateness and alienation of the previous
rock…like “self” is gone but a shadow of the former “self” still remains。
Since it is now so flexible； and since you have trained your ego not to fire
your energy into guarding and defending it； this gentler experience of “self”
does not keep you from enjoying a happy life。 The self boundary created by
your preferential programming enables you to love everyone unconditionally
including yourself。
For the few intrepid explorers of the mountain of consciousness who wish to
go to the top （which in the Living Love Way we call the Se