a face illumined- 第90部分

〃That　was　an　odd　pledge　that　she　beguiled　me　into；〃　he　murmured。

〃I　fear　that　in　the　wiles　of　her　unselfish　heart　she　has　caught

me　in　some　kind　of　a　trap。〃　　But　after　a　little　time　he　relapsed

again　into　a　condition　of　partial　unconsciousness。











Chapter　LIV。　　Life　and　trust。









Ida　did　not　leave　the　refuge　of　her　room　for　several　hours　after

her　return　from　the　memorable　visit　to　Mr。　Eltinge's　garden；for

far　more　than　the　long　hot　drive；　her　heroic；　spiritual　conflict

with　temptation；　the　sense　of　immeasurable　loss；　and　the　overwhelming

sorrow　that　followed；　had　exhausted　her。　　As　she　rallied　from　her

deep　depression；　which　was　physical　as　well　as　mental；　and　found

that　she　could　think　connectedly；　she　turned　to　her　Bible　in　the

hope　of　discovering　some　comforting　and　reassuring　truths　spoken

by　that　Friend　for　whose　sake　she　had　given　up　so　much。



These　words　caught　her　attention；　and　in　accordance　with　the

simplicity　and　directness　of　her　nature　she　built　upon　them　her

only　hope　for　the　future：　　〃HE　THAT　LOSETH　HIS　LIFE　FOR　MY　SAKE

SHALL　FIND　IT！〃



She　sighed：　　〃I　have　lost　that　which　is　life　and　more　than　life

to　me；　and　it　was　for　Christ's　sake。　　It　was　because　he　forgave　me

and　was　kind　in　that　awful　moment　when　my　crime　was　crushing　my

soul。　　I　could　not　have　given　up　my　chance　of　happiness　just　because

it　was　right；　but　the　thought　that　he　asked　it　and　that　it　was　for

his　sake；　turned　the　wavering　scale；　and　now　I　will　trust　him　to

find　my　life　for　me　again　in　his　own　time　and　way。　　As　far　as　this

world　is　concerned；　my　life　probably　will　be　an　increasing　care　of

father　and　others；　who；　like　myself；　have；　or　have　had　'a　worm　i'

the　bud。'　　But　be　the　future　what　it　may；　I've　made　my　choice　and

I　shall　abide　by　it。〃



Then　she　turned　to　the　xiv。　chapter　of　St。　John；　that　window　of

heaven　through　which　the　love　of　God　has　shone　into　so　many　sad

hearts；　and　by　the　time　she　had　read　the　words〃Peace　I　leave　with

you；　my　peace　I　give　unto　you：　not　as　the　world　giveth；　give　I　unto

you。　　Let　not　your　heart　be　troubled；　neither　let　it　be　afraid〃she

found　that　the　peace　promiseddeep；　quiet；　sustainingwas　stealing

into　her　heart　as　the　dawn　turns　night　into　day。　　Simple…minded

Ida　Mayhew　believed　that　Jesus　Christ　had　kept　his　word；　for　that

was　all　faith　meant　to　her。　　The　rationalist　practically　maintains

that　such　effects　are　without　causes；　and　the　materialist　explains

that　they　are　physical　conditions　to　be　accounted　for；　by　the　state

of　the　nervous　system。



Ida　went　down　to　supper；　and　spent　the　evening　with　her　mother　in

the　parlor。　　She　resolved　to　take　up　her　burden　at　once；　and　that

there　should　be　no　sentimental　sighing　in　solitude。　　Though　so

sorely　wounded；　she　meant　to　keep　her　place　in　the　ranks　and　win

from　society　something　better　than　pity。　　Jennie　Burton　looked　at

her　wistfully　and　wonderingly　many　times；　for　the　impress　of　the

spiritual　experience　of　that　day　was　on　her　face；　and　made　it　more

than　beautiful。　　The　blending　of　sadness　and　serenity；　of　quiet

strength　with　calm　resolve；　was　apparent　to　one　possessing　Miss

Burton's　insight　into　character。　　〃Can　it　be；〃　she　thought；　〃that

Van　Berg　has　discovered　her　secret；　and　finds　that　while　he　can

give　her　warm　friendship　and　sympathy　in　her　new　life；　he　cannot

give　any　more；　and　has　made　as　much　apparent　to　her　by　his　manner？

I　thought　I　detected　a　different　tendency　in　his　mind　before　he

went　to　the　city。　　Something　has　occurred　between　them　evidently；

that　to　poor　Ida　means　giving　up　a　hope　that　is　like　life　to　a

woman。　　I　wish　she　would　let　me　talk　with　her；　for　I　think　we　could

help　each　other。　　There　is　certainly　a　sustaining　element　in　her

faith　which　I　do　not　possess　or　understand。　　Year　after　year　I

just　struggle　desperately　to　keep　from　sinking　into　despair；　and

the　conflict　is　wearing　me　out。　　How　to　meet　to…morrow　with　all

its　memories　I　do　not　know。　　I　can　see　from　the　expression　of　Miss

Mayhew's　face　how　I　ought　to　meet　this　anniversary　of　a　day　that

once　seemed　to　me　like　heaven's　gate；　but　all　I　can　do　is　just　cling

to　my　hope　in　God；　while　I　cry　like　a　child　that　has　lost　itself

and　all　it　loves　in　a　thorny　wilderness。　　I　DO　wish　we　could　talk

frankly；　but　she　is　utterly　unapproachable。〃



Poor　Stanton　stalked　up　and　down　on　the　piazza　without；　smoking

furiously　and　muttering　strange　oaths。　　If　the　troubles　that　preyed

upon　the　two　maidens　towards　whom　his　heart　was　so　tender；　were

outward　enemies；　the　smallest　grain　of　discretion　would　have　kept

them　out　of　his　way　that　night；　and　if　Van　Berg　had　quietly　walked

up　the　piazza　steps　as　Ida　was　expecting；　he　would　have　received

anything　but　a　friendly　greeting。　　That　he　did　not　come　was

a　disappointment　to　Ida；　and　yet　deep　in　her　heart　there　was　a

secret　satisfaction　that　he　found　it　so　difficult　to　enter　on　the

task　that　duty　and　honor　demanded。　　〃I　shall　see　him　at　breakfast；

however；〃　she　thought；　〃and　he'll　be　quiet；　sane；　and　true　to　his

pledge。〃



But　when　she　did　not　see　him　the　next　morning；　and　also　learned

from　Stanton　that　he　had　not　been　in　his　room　during　the　night；

forebodings　of　some　kind　of　evil　began　coming　like　prowling　beasts

of　he　night　that　the　traveler　cannot　drive　very　far　away　from　his

camp…fire。　　Could　he　have　broken　his　promise　to　her；　and　have　fled

from　duty　after　all？　　She　felt　that　she　would　love　him　no　matter　what

he　didfor　poor　Ida　could　not　love　on　strictly　moral　principals；

and　withdraw　her　love　in　offended　dignity　if　the　occasion　required；

but　her　purer　and　womanly　instincts　made　her　fear　that　if　he

forfeited　her　respect　her　love　might　degenerate　into　passion。



Her　wish　that　he　would　come　grew　more　intense　every　moment；　and

from　her　heart　she　pitied　Jennie　Burton　as　she　saw　her　turn　away

from　an　almost　untasted　breakfast；　and　with　a　face　that　was　so

full　of　suffering　that　she　could　not　disguise　it。　　〃If　he　fails

her　utterly　she'll　die；〃　murmured　Ida；　as　she　climbed　wearily　to

her　room。　　〃Merciful　Saviour；　forgive　me　that　I　tried　to　tempt　him

from　her。〃



She　watched　from　her　window；　but　he　did　not　come。　　She　saw　Jennie

Burton　hastening　away　on　one　of　the　lonely　walks　to　which　she　was

given　of　late。　　She　saw　Stanton　drive　off　rapidly；　and　when　a　few

hours　later　he　came　back；　she　went　down　to　meet　him；　and　asked

hesitatingly：



〃Have　you　seen　or　heard　anything　of　Mr。　Van　Berg？〃



〃Confound　him！　no。　　I　don't　see　what　the　deuce　he　means　by　his

course！　　Burleigh　says　he　has　not　seen　or　heard　a　word　from　him

since　early　Monday　morning　when　he　started　off　with　his　sketch…book；

and　Burleigh　also　says　he　seemed　very　glum　and　out　of　sorts　when

he　joked　him　a　little。　　I've　been　to　the　landing　and　depot；　and　no

one　has　seen　him。　　Unless　Van　can　give　a　better　account　of　himself

than　I　expect；　he　and　I　will　have　a　tremendous　falling　out。〃



〃No；　Cousin　Ik；　you　will　leave　him　to　himself；　for　anything　like

what　you　threaten　would　wound　two　hearts　already　sad　enough。〃



〃Well；　curse　it　all！　　I　must　do　something　or　other；　or　I'll　explode；

I　can't　sit　by　and　twirl　my　thumbs　while　two　such　women　as　you

and　Miss　Burton　are　in　trouble。　　When　a　man　breaks　a　girl's　heart

I　feel　like　breaking　his　head。〃



〃Merciful　heaven！　　SeequickMiss　Burtonshe's　beckoning　to

you。〃



Stanton　sprang　from　the　piazza　at　a　bound；　and　was　almost　instantly

at　Jennie　Burton's　side；　who　sank　into　a　seat　near；　and　gasped：



〃Do　as　I　bidno　wordsa　carriage；　and　a　stout　man　with　yourselftake

brandy。　　Haste；　or　Mr。　Van　Berg　will　die。〃



〃O　God！　don't　say　that；〃　Ida　sobbed；　kneeling　at　her　feet　with　a

low　shuddering　cry。



Jennie　stooped　over　and　kissed　her　and　said：　　〃Courage；　Miss　Mayhew；

all　will　yet　be　well。　　Be　your　brave　self；　and　you　can　help　me　save

him。　　Tell　Mr。　Burleigh　to　come　here。　　Have　a　physician　sent　for。〃



Ida　almost　dragged　the　bewildered　host　from　his　office。　　Under　the

inspiration　of　hope　her　motions　were　lithe　and　swift　as　a　leopard's。

Within　five　minutes　after　Miss　Burton's　arrival；　a　carriage　containing

herself；　Stanton；　and　two　stout　men；　dashed　furiously　towards　the

ravine　in　which　Van　Berg　was　lying；　and　a　buggy　was　sent　with　equal

rapidity　for　a　physician。　　Then　came　to　poor　Ida　the　awful　suspense

and　waiting；　which　is　so　often　woman's　part　in　life's　tragedies。



〃Oh；　can　it　be；〃　she　thought；　with　thrills　of　dread　and　horror；

〃that　he　has　attempted　my　crime？〃　and　she　grew　sick　and　faint。

Then　she　resolutely　put　the　suspicion　away　from　her　as　unjust　to

him。　　〃Will　they　never　return？　　O　God；　if　they　should　be　too　late！〃



She　stood　on　the　piazza　with　eyes　dilated　and　strained；

in　one　direction；　caring　not　what　any　one　saw　or　surmised；　but　in

the　increasing　excitement；　as　the　rumor　spread　and　grew；　she　was

unnoticed。



At　last　the　carriage　appeared；　and　it　was　driven　so　slowly　and

carefully　that　it　suggested　to　the　poor　girl　the　deliberate　and

mournful　pace　of　a　funeral　procession；　when　all　need　for　haste　is

past　forever；　and　she　sprang　down　the　steps　in　her　intense　anxiety；

and　took　some　swift　steps　before　she　controlled　herself。　　Then

pressing　her　hand　on　her　side；　she　sank　into　the　seat　which　Miss

Burton　had　occupied　a　little　before。



Jennie　Burton　waved　a　handkerchiefthat　meant　life。　　〃Thank　God！〃

she　murmured；　and　tears　of　joy　rushed　into　her　eyes。　　She　now　saw

that　Stanton　was　supporting　Van　Berg。　　She　sprang　up　the　steps

again；　broke　through　the　excited　and　curious　throng　on　the　piazza；

and　was　back　with　a　strong　arm…chair　from　the　office　by　the　time

the　carriage　stopped　at　the　door。



〃That's　a　sensible　girl；　Ida；〃　said　Stanton；　〃that's　just　the　thing

to　carry　him　in。　　Now；　Van；　rally　and　do　your　best　a　few　moments

longer；　and　you're　all　right。〃



At　the　sound　of　Ida's　name　he　lifted　his　head　and　looked　around

till　he　met　her　eyes；　and　then　sm