a face illumined- 第85部分

ancient　Trial　by　Fire。



〃Curse　it　all；〃　he　muttered；　〃they　both　can　read　one's　thoughts　as

if　they　were　printed　on　sign…boards。　　I　was　scarcely　conscious　of

what　my　ardent　friendship　for　Miss　Mayhew　meant　before　she　looked

me　in　the　face　and　saw　the　whole　truth；　and　she　almost　the　same

as　charged　me　with　winning　Jennie　Burton's　heart　then　throwing　it

away；　while　in　the　same　breath　she　hinted　that　I　need　not　attempt

any　such　folly　and　meanness　in　her　case。　　If　ever　a　man's　pride

and　self…respect　received　a　mortal　wound　mine　has　to…day。　　And　now

I　feel　with　instinctive　certainty；　that　Miss　Burton　will　see　the

truth　just　as　clearly；　and　then　my　burden　for　life　will　be　the

contempt　of　the　two　women　whom　I　honor　as　I　do　my　mother's　name。

Well；　there　is　no　help　for　it　now；　my　ship　is　on　the　rocks　already。〃



He　was　greatly　relieved　to　find　that　Ida　was　not　at　the　table；　but；

in　spite　of　his　best　efforts；　Miss　Burton　soon　saw　that　something

was　amiss；　and　that　it　was　difficult　for　him　to　sustain　his　part　of

the　conversation。　　With　her　graceful　tact；　however；　she　was　blind

to　all　she　imagined　he　would　not　have　her　notice；　and　tried　to

enliven　both　Mr。　Mayhew　and　himself　with　her　cheery　talka　vain

effort　in　each　instance　now。



〃How　slight　and　spirit…like　she　is　becoming！〃　groaned　Van　Berg；

inwardly。　　〃Great　God！　if　I　have　wronged　her；　how　awful　will　be　my

punishment！〃



〃She　loves　him；〃　was　Mr。　Mayhew's　conclusion；　〃and　from　his　manner

I　fear　he　has　given　her　reason。　　At　any　rate；　for　some　cause；　he

is　in　great　perplexity　and　trouble。〃



After　supper　Van　Berg　stood　near　the　main　stairway；　still　conversing

with　Miss　Burton；　when　a　light；　quick　step　caused　him　to　look　up

and　he　saw　Ida　who　had　entered　by　a　side　door。　　He　knew　she　must

have　seen　him　and　Miss　Burton　also；　but　she　passed　him　with　veiled

and　downcast　face；　and　went　swiftly　up　the　stairway　to　her　room。　　It

seemed　to　him　a　cut　direct。　　〃she　and　Stanton　have　been　comparing

notes；〃　he　said　to　himself；　and　he　crimsoned　at　the　thought　of　what

he　must　now　appear　to　her。　　Miss　Burton　had　been　standing　with　her

back　towards　the　stairway　and　had　not　seen　Ida　at　first；　but　Van

Berg's　hot　flush　caused　her　to　glance　around　and　see　the　cause；　and

then　she　understood　his　manner　better。　　But　it　was　her　creed　that

people　manage　such　things　best　without　interference；　even　from

the　kindliest　motives；　and　she　therefore　made　no　allusion　to　Miss

Mayhew　that　evening。



〃Miss　Jennie；〃　said　Van　Berg；　yielding　to　what　he　now　felt　had

become　a　necessity；　〃I　may　seem　more　of　a　heathen　to　you　to…morrow

than　ever。　　There　is　a　distant　mountain　and　lake　that　I　wish　to

visit　before　I　return　to　town；　and　I　shall　start　early　to…morrow。

So　if　I　do　not　come　back　very　early　you　need　not　think　that　the

earth　has　swallowed　me　up　or　that　I　have　fallen　a　prey　to　wild

beasts。　　Good　night；〃　and　he　pressed　her　hand　warmly。



She　looked　at　him　wistfully　and　seemed　about　to　speak；　for　she　was

vaguely　conscious　of　his　deep　trouble。　　She　checked　the　impulse；

however；　and　parted　from　him　with　a　kindly　smile　that　suggested

sympathy　rather　than　reproach。



Stanton　called　Mr。　Mayhew　aside　and　the　two　gentleman　spoke　very

frankly　together。



〃Ida　seems　even　more　concerned　about　you　than　herself；〃　said　Stanton

in　conclusion；　〃and　it　would　kill　her；　as　she　now　feels；　if　you

should　give　way　to　your　old　weakness　again。　　She　fears　that　she

won't　be　able　to　sustain　and　cheer　you　as　she　intended；　but　I　told

her　that　we　would　both　stand　by　her　and　see　her　through　her　trouble。〃



〃I　understand　you；　Ik；〃　said　Mr。　Mayhew；　quietly。　　〃From　my　heart

I　thank　you　for　your　kindness　to　Ida。　　But　you　don't　understand

me。　　I　had　a　deeper　thirst　than　that　for　brandy；　and　when　my　child

gave　me　her　love；　my　real　thirst　was　quenched；　and　the　other　is

gone。〃



〃That's　noble；　we'll　pull　through　yet！〃　Stanton　resumed；　heartily。

〃Ida　and　I　got　our　supper　at　a　village　innat　least；　we　went　through

the　motionsfor　I　was　bound　no　one　should　have　a　chance　to　stare

at　her　to…night。〃



〃No　matter；〃　said　her　father；　decisively。　　〃I　have　had　prepared　as

nice　a　supper　as　Mr。　Burleigh　could　furnish；　and　I　shall　take　it

to　her　room。　　She　shall　see　that　she　is　not　forgotten。〃



Ida　tried　to　eat　a　little　to　please　him；　but　she　soon　came　and　sat

beside　him　on　her　sofa；　saying；　as　she　buried　her　face　against　his

shoulder；　〃Father；　I　shall　have　to　lean　very　hard　on　you　now。〃



〃I　won't　fail　you；　Ida；〃　was　the　gentle　and　simple　reply；　but　they

understood　each　other　without　further　words。　　With　unspoken　sympathy

and　tenderness　he　tried　to　fill　the　place　her　mother　could　not；

for　if　Mrs。　Mayhew　had　gained　any　knowledge　of　Ida's　feelings；　she

would　have　had　a　great　deal　to　say　on　the　subject　with　the　best

and　kindest　intentions。　　With　heavy　touch　she　would　try　to　examine

and　heal　the　wound　twenty　times　a　day。



Mr。　Mayhew　was　right　when　he　said　the　Van　Bergs　were　a　proud　race；

and　this　trait　had　found　its　culmination；　perhaps；　in　the　hero　of

this　tale。　　He　was　justly　proud　of　his　old　and　unstained　name；　he

was　proud　of　those　who　bore　it　with　him；　and　he　honored　his　father

and　mother；　not　in　obedience　to　a　command；　but　because　every　one

honored　them；　and　if　his　sister　was　a　little　cold　and　stately；　she

embodied　his　ideas　of　refinement　and　cultivation；　he　was　proud　of

his　social　position；　of　his　talentfor　he　knew　he　had　that　much；

at　leastand　of　the　recognition　he　had　already　won　in　the　republic

of　art。　　But　chief　of　all　had　he　been　proud　of　his　unstained　manhood；

of　the　honor；　which　he　believed　had　been　kept　unsullied　until

this　miserable　day。　　But　now；　as　he　strode　away　in　the　moonlight；

he　found　himself　confronting　certain　facts　which　he　felt　he　could

never　explain　to　any　one's　satisfaction；　not　even　his　own。　　He　had

openly　professed　to　love　a　poor　and　orphaned　girl；　and　had　pledged

himself　to　win　her　if　he　couldto　be　her　friend　till　he　could

become　far　more。　　Even　granting　that　she　still　looked　on　him　merely

as　a　friend；　that　did　not　release　him。　　It　was　while　possessing

the　distinct　knowledge　that　she　cherished　no　warmer　feeling　that

he　had　made　the　pledge；　and　though　she　might　not　be　able　or　willing

to…day　or　to…morrow；　or　for　years　to　come；　to　give　up　a　past　love

for　his　sake；　his　promise　required　that　he　should　patiently　woo　and

wait　till　she　could　bury　the　past　with　her　old　lover；　and　receive；

at　his　hands；　the　future　that　he　was　in　honor　bound　to　keep　within

her　reach。　　Of　course；　if；　after　the　lapse　of　years；　she　assured

him　she　could　not　and　would　not　accept　of　his　hand　in　marriage；　he

would　be　free；　but　he　had　scarcely　waited　weeks　before　giving　his

love　to　another。　　For　aught　he　knew；　the　hope　of　happier　days；　which

he　had　urged　upon　her；　might　be　already　stealing　into　her　heart。



It　gave　him　but　little　comfort　now　to　recognize　the　fact　that　he

had　never　loved　Jennie　Burtonthat　he　had　never　known　what　the

word　meant　until　swept　away　by　the　irresistible　tide　of　a　passion；

the　power　of　which　already　appalled　him。　　To　say　that　he　did　not

feel　like　keeping　his　promise　now；　or　that　his　feelings　had　changed；

he　knew　would　be　regarded　as　an　excuse　beneath　contempt；　and　a　week

since　he　himself　would　have　pronounced　the　most　merciless　judgment

against　a　man　in　his　present　position。



Before　the　vigil　of　that　night　was　over；　he　decided　that　he　could

not　meet　either　Ida　Mayhew　or　Jennie　Burton　again。　　He　believed

that　Ida　Mayhew　understood　him　only　too　well　now；　and　that　she

thoroughly　despised　him。　　Indeed；　from　her　manner　of　passing　him；

he　doubted　whether　she　willingly　would　speak　to　him　again；　for　her

veil　had　prevented　him　from　seeing　the　pallor　and　traces　of　grief

which　she　was　so　anxious　to　hide。　　In　his　morbidly　sensitive　state；

it　seemed　a　deliberate　but　just　withdrawal　of　even　her　acquaintance。

He　felt　that　the　brief　dream　of　Ida　Mayhew　was　over　forever；　and

that　she　would　indeed　keep　the　priceless　kingdom　of　her　heart　from

him　above　all　others。　　He　believed　that　now；　after　her　conversation

with　Stanton；　she　clearly　saw　that　the　absurdly　ardent　friendship

he　had　urged　upon　her　was　only　the　incipient　stage　of　a　new　passion

in　a　fickle　wretch　who　had　dared　to　trifle　with　a　girl　like　Jennie

Burtona　maiden　that；　of　all　others　in　the　world；　a　man　of　honor

would　shield。



As　for　Miss　Burton　herself；　now　that　he　realized　his　situation；

he　felt　that　he　could　never　look　her　in　the　face　again。　　To　try　to

resume　his　old　relations　seemed　to　be　impossible。　　He　never　had　and

never　could　say　to　her　a　word　that　he　knew　was　insincere。　　Besides；

he　was　sure　that　such　an　effort　would　be　futile；　for　she　would

detect　his　hollowness　at　once；　and　he　feared　a　glance　of　scorn　from

her　blue　eyes　more　than　the　lightning　of　heaven。　　He　resolved　to

leave　the　Lake　House　on　Monday；　and　from　New　York　write　to　Miss

Burton　the　unvarnished　truth；　assuring　her　that　he　knew　himself　to

be　unworthy　even　to　speak　to　her　again。　　Then；　as　soon　as　he　could

complete　his　preparations；　he　would　go　abroad　and　give　himself

wholly　to　his　art。



Having　come　to　these　conclusions；　he　stole　by　a　side　entrance　like

a　guilty　shadow　to　his　room　and　tried　to　obtain　such　rest　as　is

possible　to　those　who　are　in　the　hell　of　mental　torment。　　After　an

early　breakfast　the　following　morning；　he　started　for　the　mountains；

and　no　wild　beast　that　ever　roamed　them　would　have　torn　him　more

pitilessly　than　did　his　own　outraged　sense　of　honor　and　manhood。

He　returned　late　in　the　evening；　weary　and　faint；　and　with　the

furtiveness　of　an　outlaw；　again　reached　his　room　without　meeting

those　whom　he　so　wished　to　avoid。　　After　the　heavy；　unrefreshing

sleep　of　utter　exhaustion　he　once　more　left　the　house　early；　with

his　sketch…book　in　hand　to　disguise　his　purpose；　for　it　was　his

intention　to　visit　the　old　garden　before　he　finally　left　the　scenes

to　which