a face illumined- 第35部分

this　crowded　house；　but　I'd　rather　die　than　give　one　hint　of　our

first　meeting　he　has　humiliated　me；　and　I　in　return　love　him！　　But

he　shall　never　know　it。　　My　looks　can　be　as　cold　as　his。〃



And　so　they　were　toward　him；　but　for　all　others　she　had　had　the

gayest　smiles　and　repartee。　　Vividly　conscious　of　the　secret　she

would　so　jealously　guard；　she　sought　by　every　means　in　her　power

to　mask　it　from　him　and　all　others。　　She　would　even　permit　her　name

for　a　time　to　be　associated　with　a　man　she　detested　and　despised；

since　thus　the　truth　could　be　more　effectively　concealed。



Sibley's　attentions　were　certainly　ardent　enough　to　attract　attention；

and　occasionally　there　was　a　boldness　in　his　compliments；　which

she；　even　in　her　reckless　mood；　sharply　resented。　　His　eyes　seemed

to　grow　more　wolfish　every　time　she　encountered　them；　and　more　than

once　the　thought　crossed　her　mind：



〃What　a　heaven　it　would　be　to　look　up　into　the　eyes　of　a　man　I

could　trust；　and　who　honored　me。〃



What　torture　it　was　to　see　such　a　man　present；　and　yet　to　feel　that

he　justly　scorned　her。



Excitement　and　her　strong　will　kept　her　up　for　a　long　time；　but　as

the　evening　advanced　despondency　and　weariness　began　to　gain　the

mastery。　　Sibley　came　to　her　and　said：　　〃Miss　Ida；　I　have　your　hand

for　the　next　waltz；　but　I　see　you　are　worn　and　tired。　　Let　us　go

out　on　the　cool　piazza　instead　of　dancing。〃



Listlessly　she　took　his　arm　and　passed　through　one　of　the　open

windows　near。　　Van　Berg　had　disappeared　some　time　before；　and　there

was　no　longer　any　motive　to　keep　up　the　illusion　of　gayety。



Hardly　had　she　stepped　on　the　piazza　before　she　heard　her　father

say：



〃Miss　Burton；　if　it　will　give　you　any　pleasure　to　know　that　you　have

made　this　evening　memorably　bright　to　one　whose　life　is　peculiarly

clouded；　you　can　certainly　enjoy　that　assurance　in　the　fullest

measure。　　You　have　kept　your　word　and　have　not　preached　at　me　at

all；　and　yet　I　feel　I　ought　to　be　a　better　man　for　this　interview。〃



〃O；　Miss　Ida；〃　exclaimed　Sibley；　〃this　is　the　opportunity　that　I

have　been　wishing　for　all　the　evening。　　I　cannot　tell　you　how　gladly

I　exchange　the　glare　of　that　room　for　the　light　of　your　eyes　only。

Would　that　life　were　but　one　long　summer　evening；　and　your　eyes

the　only　starts　in　my　sky。〃



〃Absurd；〃　she　carelessly　replied；　and　then　they　passed　out　of

hearing。



〃Good…night；　Miss　Burton；〃　said　Mr。　Mayhew　abruptly；　and　he　hastily

descended　the　steps　and　was　soon　lost　from　view　in　the　darkness。



His　daughter　and　the　man　who　seemed　to　be　the　companion　of　her

choice；　brought　back　at　once　the　old　conditions　of　his　life。　　The

prison　walls　closed　around　him　again；　the　air　seemed　all　the　more

foul　and　stifling　in　contrast　with　the　pure　atmosphere　which　he　had

been　breathing；　and　the　gloom　of　the　night　was　light　in　comparison

with　his　thoughts　as　he　muttered：



〃If　Ida　were　only　like　this　good　angel　she　might　save　even　me；　but

after　my　long　absence　she　leaves　me　wholly　to　myself　for　the　sake

of　a　man　who　ought　to　be　an　offence　to　her。　　If　I　tell　her　and

her　mother　what　his　reputation　in　New　York　is　they　will　not　listen

to　me。　　Although　he　is　the　known　slave　of　every　vice；　my　daughter

smiles　upon　him。　　Froth　and　mud　we　are　now　and　ever　will　be。　　After

a　glimpse　into　the　life　of　that　pure；　good　woman　who　has　tried　to

be　God's　messenger　to　me　to…night；　I　can　find　no　words　to　express

my　loathing　of　the　slough　in　which　I　and　mine　have　mired。　　My　only

child；　by　the　force　of　natural　selection；　bids　fair　to　add　to　our

number　a　drunkard　and　a　libertine；　and　I　am　powerless　to　prevent

it。　　The　mother　that　should　guard　and　guide　her　child；　is　blind　to

everything　save　that　he　is　rich。　　Froth　and　mud！　　Froth　and　mud！〃



Unable　to　endure　his　thoughts；　he　went　to　his　room　and　found　oblivion

in　the　stupor　of　intoxication。



On　reaching　the　end　of　the　long　piazza；　Sibley　led　Ida　to　a　veranda

little　frequented　at　that　hour；　saying；　as　he　did　so：



〃Let　us　get　away　from　prying　eyes。　　I　always　feel　when　with　you

that　three　is　an　enormous　crowd。〃



A　gentleman　who　had　been　smoking　rose　hastily　at　this　broad　hint；

which　he　could　not　help　overhearing；　and　walked　haughtily　away。



Ida；　with　a　regret　deeper　than　she　could　have　thought　possible；　saw

that　it　was　Van　Berg。　　Her　first　impulse　was　to　compel　her　companion

to　go　back；　but　that　would　look　like　following　him。　　Weary；　disheartened

by　the　fate　that　seemed　ever　against　her；　she　sank　into　the　chair

he　had　just　vacated。



For　a　time　she　did　not　heed　or　scarcely　hear　Sibley's　characteristic

flatteries；　but　at　last　he　said　plainly：



〃Miss　Ida；　do　you　know　that　you　are　the　one　woman　of　all　the　world

to　me？〃



〃Oh；　hush！〃　she　replied；　rising。　　〃I　know　you　say　that　to　every

pretty　woman　who　will　listen　to　you；　as　I　shall　no　longer　to…night。

Come。〃



Baffled　and　puzzled　also　by　the　moody　girl；　who　of　late　seemed　so

different　from　her　former　self；　he　had　no　resource　but　to　accompany

her　back　to　the　main　entrance。　　Here；　where　the　eyes　of　others　were

upon　her；　she　said　abruptly；　but　with　a　charming　smile：



〃Good…night；　Mr。　Sibley；〃　and　went　directly　to　her　room。



The　young　man　looked　rather　nonplussed　and　muttered　an　oath　as　he

walked　away　to　console　himself　after　the　fashion　of　his　kind。



〃Is　there　no　escape　from　this　wretched　life？〃　Ida　sighed　as　she

wearily　threw　herself　into　a　chair　on　reaching　her　room。　　〃A　man

whose　addresses　are　an　insult　is　my　lover。　　The　only　man　I　can　ever

love　associates　me　in　his　mind　with　this　low　fellow。　　My　father

obtains　what　little　comfort　he　gets　from　the　charity　of　a　stranger。

How　can　I　face　this　prospect　day　after　day。　　Oh；　that　I　had　never

come　here！〃



〃Ida；〃　said　her　mother　entering　hastily；　〃what　has　happened　to　put

your　father　out　so？　　I　had　a　headache　this　evening；　and　came　up

early。　　A　little　while　ago　he　stalked　in　with　his　absurd　tragic　air。

'What　is　the　matter；'　I　asked。　　'Look　to　your　daughter；'　he　said。

'What　do　you　mean？'　I　asked；　quite　frightened。　　'If　you　were　a　true

mother；'　he　replied；　'you　would　no　more　leave　her　with　that　roue

Sibley；　than　with　so　much　pitch。　　Yet　he　is　courting　her　openly；

and　what　is　worse；　she　receives　his　addresses；　and　permits　herself

to　be　identified　with　him。'　　'Oh；　pshaw；'　I　answered　carelessly；

'Sibley　is　about　on　a　par　with　half　the　young　men　in　society；　and

Ida　might　do　a　great　deal　worse。　　No　fear　of　her；　for　there　isn't

a　girl　living　who　knows　how　to　take　care　of　herself　better　than

she。'　　'Bah！'　he　said；　'if　she　knew　how　to　take　care　of　herself；

she　would　permit　a　snake　to　touch　her　sooner　than　that　man。　　Ida

might　do　worse；　might　she？　　God　knows　how：　　I　don't。　　A　pretty　family

we　shall　be　when　he　is　added　to　our　charming　group。　　The　mud　will

predominate　then；'　and　with　that　he　opened　a　bottle　of　brandy　and

drank　himself　stupid。〃



As　Mrs。　Mayhew　rattled　this　conversation　off　in　a　loud　whisper；

Ida　seemed　turning　into　stone；　but　at　its　close　she　said　icily：



〃In　speaking　of　such　a　union　as　possible；　my　parents　have　shown

their　opinion　of　me。　　Good…night。　　I　wish　to　be　alone。〃



〃But　did　anything　happen　between　you　to　set　your　father　off　so？〃

persisted　Mrs。　Mayhew。



〃Nothing　unusual。　　I　suppose　father　heard　one　of　Mr。　Sibley's

compliments；　and　that　was　enough　to　disgust　any　sensible　man。

Good…night。〃



〃My　gracious！　　You　might　as　well　turn　me　out　of　your　room。〃



〃Mother；　I　wish　to　be　alone；〃　said　Ida；　passionately。



〃A　pretty　life　I　lead　of　it　between　you　and　your　father；〃　sobbed

Mrs。　　Mayhew；　retreating　to　her　own　apartment。



〃A　hateful；　wretched　life　we　all　three　shall　lead　to　the　end

of　time；　for　aught　that　I　can　see；〃　Ida　groaned　as　she　restlessly

paced　her　room；　〃but　I　have　no　better　resource　than　to　follow

father's　example。〃



She　took　an　opiate；　and　so　escaped　from　thought　for　a　time　in　the

deep　lethargy　it　brought。











Chapter　XXV。　　Half…truths。









A　church　bell　was　ringing　in　a　neighboring　village　the　following

morning　when　Ida　awoke。　　The　sunlight　streamed　in　at　the　open　window

through　the　half…closed　blinds；　flecking　the　floor　with　bars　of

light。　　Birds　were　singing　in　the　trees　without；　and　a　southern

breeze　rustled　through　the　foliage　as　a　sweet　low　accompaniment。

Surely　it　was　a　bright　pleasant　world　on　which　her　heavy　eyes　were

opening。



Poor　child！　she　was　fast　learning　now　that　the　darkest　clouds　that

shadow　our　paths　are　not　the　vapors　that　rise　from　the　earth；　but

the　thoughts　and　memories　of　an　unhappy　and　a　sinful　heart。



The　sunlight　mocked　her；　and　her　spirit　was　so　out　of　tune　that

the　sweet　sounds　of　nature　made　jarring　discord。



But　the　church　bell　caught　her　attention。　　How　natural　and　almost

universal　is　the　instinct　which　leads　us　when　in　trouble　to　seek

the　support　of　some　Higher　power。　　No　matter　how　wayward　the　human

child　may　have　been；　how　hardened　by　years　of　wrong；　or　arrogantly

entrenched　in　some　phase　of　rational　philosophy；　when　the　darkness

of　danger　or　sorrow　blots　out　the　light　of　earthly　hopes；　or　hides

the　path　which　was　trodden　so　confidently；　then；　with　the　impulse

of　frightened　children　whom　night　has　suddenly　overtaken；　there　is

a　longing　for　the　Father's　hand　and　the　Father's　reassuring　voice。

If　there　is　no　God　to　love　and　help　us；　human　nature　is　a　lie。



Thus　far　Ida　Mayhew　had　no　more　thought　of　turning　Heavenward　for

help　than　to　the　philosophy　of　Plato。　　Indeed；　religion　as　a　system

of　truth；　and　Greek　philosophy　were　almost　equally　unknown　to　her。

But　that　church…bell　reminded　her　of　the　source　of　hope　and　help　to

which　burdened　hearts　have　been　turning　in　all　the　ages；　and　with

the　vague　thought　that　she　might　find　some　light　and　cheer　that　was

not　in　the　sunshine；　she　hastily　dressed　and　went　down　in　time　to

catch　one　of　the　last　carriages。