a face illumined- 第30部分

that　this　was　true。　　They　were　walking　up　and　down　the　piazza　one

evening　and　had　been　talking　with　much　animation　on　a　subject　of

mutual　interest。　　But　she　proved　that　there　was　in　her　mind　a　deeper

and　stronger　current　of　thought　than　that　which　had　been　apparent。

As　the　duskiness　increased；　and　as　in　their　promenade　their　faces

were　turned　away　from　those　who　might　have　observed　them；　she　said

a　little　abruptly　and　yet　with　tremulous　hesitancy：



〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　does　your　philosophy　teach　you　to　believe；　as　you

sung；　on　Sabbath　evening；　that





'There　is　no　power　to　sever

　The　strong　and　true　in　mind？'〃





Before　answering　he　turned　to　look　at　her。　　Her　face　seemed　to

stand　out　from　the　gloom　of　the　night　with　a　light　of　its　own；　and

was　so　white　and　eager　as　to　be　almost　spirit…like。　　His　tones　were

sad　as　he　replied：



〃I　wish　I　could　answer　you　otherwise　than　as　I　must；　for　the　impulse　to

say　some　words　of　comfort；　which　I　feel　you　need；　is　very　strong。

I　only　sang　of　what　I　wished　on　Sunday　evening。　　I　have　little

philosophy；　and　still　less　of　definite　belief　in　regard　to　the

future　life。　　While　I　am　not　a　theoretic　skeptic；　all　questions　of

faith　are　to　me　so　vague　and　incomprehensible　that　I　am　a　practical

materialist；　and　live　only　in　the　present　hour。〃



〃But；　Mr。　Van　Berg；〃　she　said；　in　a　low　tremulous　tone；　〃can　you

not　understand　that　some　people　cannot　live　in　the　present　hour；

try　as　they　may？　　Oh；　how　desperately　hard　I　try　to　do　so！　　Can

you　not　imagine　that　something　in　one's　past　may　make　a　future

necessary　to　save　from　despair？　　If　I　lost　my　hold　on　that　future

I　should　go　mad；〃　she　added　in　a　whisper。　　〃How　can　any　materialistic

philosophy　be　true　when　it　fails　us　and　so　bitterly　disappoints　us

in　our　need？〃



〃I　do　not　say　it　is　true；〃　he　replied；　earnestly。　　〃Indeed　your

words　and　manner　prove　to　me；　as　could　no　labored　argument；　what　a

poor　superficial　thing　it　is。　　I　feel；　with　the　force　of　conviction；

that　it　can　no　more　meet　your　need　than　could　the　husks　which　the

swine　did　eat。〃



〃Since　you　were　sincere；　I　will　be　also；〃　she　continued　in　the

same　low　tone；　looking　away　from　him　into　the　dark　cloudy　sky。　　〃As

the　hymn　I　sung　may　have　suggested　to　you；　I　have　not　got　very　far

beyond　mere　submission　and　hope。　　Something　in　my　own　soul　as　well

as　in　revelation　tells　me　that　there　is　a　'happier　shore；'　and　I

am　trying　to　reach　it；　but　the　way；　too　often；　is　like　that　sky；

utterly　opaque　and　rayless。〃



〃I　regret　more　deeply　than　you　can　ever　know；　Miss　Burton；　that　I

find　nothing　in　my　own　knowledge　or　experience　to　help　you。　　All

I　can　offer　is　my　honest　sympathy；　and　that　you　have　had　from　the

first；　for　from　the　time　of　our　first　meeting　the　impression　has

been　growing　upon　me　that　your　character　had　obtained　its　power

and　beauty　through　some　deep　and　sorrowful　experience。　　But　while

I　am　unable　to　give　you　any　help；　perhaps　I　can　suggest　a　pleasant

thought　from　your　own　illustration。　　The　black　clouds　yonder　which

seem　to　you　a　true　type　of　the　shadows　that　have　fallen　across

your　path；　are；　after　all；　but　a　film　in　the　sky。　　The　sun；　and　a

multitude　of　other　luminous　worlds；　are　shining　beyond　them　in　the

heavens。　　I　would　I　had　your　chances　of　reaching　a　'happier　shore。'〃



〃That's　a　pretty　sentiment；〃　she　said；　shaking　her　head　slowly；

〃but　those　luminous　worlds　are　a　great　way　off；　with　cold　and　vast

reaches　of　space　between　them。　　Besides；　a　luminous　world　would

not　do　me　one　bit　of　good。　　I　want…〃　she　stopped　abruptly　with

something　like　a　low　sob。　　〃There；　there；〃　she　resumed　hastily

dashing　away　a　few　tears。　　〃I　have　occupied　your　thoughts　too　long

with　my　forlorn　little　self。　　I　did　not　mean　to　show　this　weakness；

but　have　been　betrayed　into　doing　os；　I　think；　because　you　impressed

me　as　being　honest；　and　I　thought　that　perhapsperhaps　your　man's

reason　might　have　thought　of　some　argument　or　probably　conjecture

relating　to　the　subject　that；　for　causes　obvious　to　you；　would　be

naturally　interesting　to　one　so　alone　in　the　world　as　I　am。〃



〃I　am　sorry　indeed　that　I　never　used　my　reason　to　so　good　a　purpose；〃

he　replied；　〃and　yet；　as　I　said　at　first；　these　subjects　have　ever

seemed　to　me　so　above　and　beyond　my　reason　that　I　have　carelessly

given　them　the　go…by。　　My　profession　has　wholly　absorbed　me　since

I　have　been　capable　of　anything　worth　the　name　of　thought；　and　the

world；　toward　which　your　mind　is　turning；　is　so　large　and　vague

that　I　cannot　even　follow　you；　much　less　guide。〃



She　sighed：　　〃It　is　indeed　'large　and　vague。'〃　　Then　she　added　in

firm；　quiet　tones：　　〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　please　forget　what　I　have　said。

The　weak　must　show　their　weakness　at　times　in　spite　of　themselves；

and　your　kindness　and　sincerity　have　beguiled　me　into　inflicting

myself　upon　you。〃



〃You　ask　that　which　is　impossible；　Miss　Burton；〃　he　replied　earnestly。

〃I　cannot　forget　what　you　have　said；　nor　do　I　wish　to。　　I　need　not

assure　you；　however；　that　I　regard　your　confidence　as　sacred　as　if

it　came　from　my　own　sister。　　Will　you　also　let　me　say　that　I　never

felt　so　honored　before　in　my　life　as　I　have　to…night；　in　the　fact

that　I　seemed　to　your　woman's　intuition　worthy　of　your　trust。〃



They　were　now　turned　towards　the　light　that　streamed　dimly　from

one　of　the　windows。　　She　looked　up　at　him　with　a　bright；　grateful

smile；　but　she　apparently　saw　something　in　his　eager　face　and　manner

which　checked　her　smile　as　suddenly　as　if　he　had　been　an　apparition。



she　gave　him　her　hand；　saying　hastily；　〃Good…night；　Mr。　Van　Berg；

I　thank　you。　　IIdo　not　feel　very　well；〃　and　she　passed　swiftly

to　a　side　door　and　disappeared。











Chapter　XX。　　A　Wretched　Secret　that　Must　be　Kept。









The　interview　described　in　the　previous　chapter　touched　Van　Berg

deeply；　but　its　close　puzzled　him。　　Under　the　influences　of　his

aroused　feelings　had　his　face　expressed　more　than　mere　sympathy？

Had　her　strong　intuition；　that　was　like　a　second　sight；　interpreted

his　heart　more　clearly　than　he　had　been　able　to　understand　it　himself

as　yet？　　Reason　and　judgement；　his　privy　council；　had　already　begun

to　advise　him　to　win　if　possible　this　unselfish　maiden；　who　with

a　divine　alchemy　transmuted　her　shadows　into　sunshine　for　others；

and　often　suggested　the　thought；　if　she　can　do　this　in　sorrow；　how

inexpressibly　happy　she　might　make　you　and　your　aged　father　and

mother　if　you　could　first　find　out　in　some　way　how　to　make　her

happy。



Indeed；　so　clear　a　case　did　these　counsellors　make　out；　that　conscience

added　her　authoritative　voice　also；　and　assured　him　that　he　would

be　false　to　himself　and　his　future　did　he　not；　to　the　utmost；　avail

himself　and　his　future　did　he　not；　to　the　utmost；　avail　himself

of　the　opportunity　of　winning　one　whose　society　from　the　first　had

been　an　inspiration　to　better　thoughts　and　better　living。



Until　this　evening　his　heart　had　remained　sluggish。　　Sweet　and

potent　as　her　voice　had　been；　it　had　not　penetrated　to　the　〃holy

of　holies〃　within　his　soul。　　But　had　not　her　low　sad　tones　echoed

there　to…night　in　the　half　involuntary　confidence　she　had　given

him？



In　his　deep　sympathy；　in　the　answering　feeling　evoked　by　her　strong

but　repressed　emotion；　he　thought　his　heart　had　been　stirred　to

its　depths；　and　that　henceforth　its　chief　desire　would　be　to　banish

the　sorrowful　memories　typified　to　her　mind　by　the　black　clouds

above　him。　　Had　his　face　revealed　this　impulse　of　his　heart　before

he　had　been　fully　conscious　of　it　himself？　　Was　it　an　unwelcome

discovery；　that　she　so　hastily　fled　from　it？　　Or　had　she　been　only

startledher　maidenly　reserve　shrinking　from　the　first　fore…shadowing

of　the　supreme　request　that　she　should　unveil　the　mysteries　of　her

life　to　one　who　but　now　had　been　a　stranger？　　He　did　not　know。　　He

felt　he　scarcely　understood　her　or　himself；　but　he　was　conscious

of　a　hope　that　both　might　meet　their　happy　fate　in　each　other。



He　leaned　thus　for　a　time　absorbed　in　thought　against　a　pillar　where

she　had　left　him；　then　sauntered　with　bowed　head　and　preoccupied

manner　to　the　main　entrance；　down　the　steps　and　out　into　the　darkness。

He　did　not　even　notice　that　he　passed　Ida　Mayhew；　where　she　stood

among　a　group　of　gay　chattering　young　people。　　Still　less　did　he

know　that　she　had　been　furtively　watching　his　interview　with　Miss

Burton；　and　that　when　he　passed　her　without　a　glance　her　face　was

as　pale　as　had　been　that　of　the　object　of　his　thoughts。　　But　he

had　not　strolled　very　far　down　a　gravelled　path　before　she　compelled

him　to　distinguish　her　reckless　laugh　and　tones　above　all　the

others。



With　an　impatient　gesture　he　muttered；　〃God　made　them　both；　I

suppose；　and　so　there's　another　mystery。〃



As　Van　Berg's　interest　in　Miss　Burton　had　deepened；　it　had　naturally

flagged　toward　the　one　whose　marvelously　fair　features　had　first

caught　his　attention　and　now　promised　to　be　links　in　a　chain

of　causes　that　might　produce　effects　little　anticipated。　　He　had

virtually　abandoned　the　project　of　seeking　to　ennoble　and　harmonize

these　features　that　suggested　new　possibilities　of　beauty　to　almost

every　glance；　for　the　reason　that　he　not　only　believed　there　was

no　mind　to　be　awakened；　but　also　because　he　had　been　led　to　think

the　girl　so　depraved　and　selfish　at　heart　that　the　very　thought　of

a　larger；　purer　life　was　repugnant　to　her。　　He　believed　she　disliked

and　even　detested　him；　not　so　much　on　personal　grounds　as　because

he　represented　to　her　mind　a　class　of　ideas　and　a　self…restraint

that　were　hateful。　　Circumstances　had　associated　her　in　his　mind

with　Sibley；　who　thus　cast　a　baleful　shadow　athwart　even　her　beauty

and　made　it　repulsive。　　Indeed　the　mocking　perfection　of　her　features

irritated　him；　and　he　began　to　make　a　conscious　and　persistent　effort

not　to　look　toward　her。　　He　now　regarded　his　hope　to　illumine　her

face　from　wit