lecture03- 第4部分

is　being　wafted　upwards；　and　almost　bursting　with　its　own



emotion。　　The　perfect　stillness　of　the　night　was　thrilled　by　a



more　solemn　silence。　　The　darkness　held　a　presence　that　was　all



the　more　felt　because　it　was　not　seen。　　I　could　not　any　more　have



doubted　that　HE　was　there　than　that　I　was。　　Indeed；　I　felt　myself



to　be；　if　possible；　the　less　real　of　the　two。







〃My　highest　faith　in　God　and　truest　idea　of　him　were　then　born　in



me。　　I　have　stood　upon　the　Mount　of　Vision　since；　and　felt　the



Eternal　round　about　me。　　But　never　since　has　there　come　quite　the



same　stirring　of　the　heart。　　Then；　if　ever；　I　believe；　I　stood



face　to　face　with　God；　and　was　born　anew　of　his　spirit。　There



was；　as　I　recall　it；　no　sudden　change　of　thought　or　of　belief；



except　that　my　early　crude　conception；　had；　as　it　were　burst　into



flower。　　There　was　no　destruction　of　the　old；　but　a　rapid；



wonderful　unfolding。　　Since　that　time　no　discussion　that　I　have



heard　of　the　proofs　of　God's　existence　has　been　able　to　shake　my



faith。　　Having　once　felt　the　presence　of　God's　spirit；　I　have



never　lost　it　again　for　long。　　My　most　assuring　evidence　of　his



existence　is　deeply　rooted　in　that　hour　of　vision　in　the　memory



of　that　supreme　experience；　and　in　the　conviction；　gained　from



reading　and　reflection；　that　something　the　same　has　come　to　all



who　have　found　God。　　I　am　aware　that　it　may　justly　be　called



mystical。　　I　am　not　enough　acquainted　with　philosophy　to　defend



it　from　that　or　any　other　charge。　　I　feel　that　in　writing　of　it　I



have　overlaid　it　with　words　rather　than　put　it　clearly　to　your



thought。　　But；　such　as　it　is；　I　have　described　it　as　carefully　as



I　now　am　able　to　do。〃







Here　is　another　document；　even　more　definite　in　character；　which；



the　writer　being　a　Swiss；　I　translate　from　the　French



original。＇28＇







＇28＇　I　borrow　it；　with　Professor　Flournoy's　permission；　from　his



rich　collection　of　psychological　documents。















〃I　was　in　perfect　health：　　we　were　on　our　sixth　day　of　tramping；



and　in　good　training。　　We　had　come　the　day　before　from　Sixt　to



Trient　by　Buet。　　I　felt　neither　fatigue；　hunger；　nor　thirst；　and



my　state　of　mind　was　equally　healthy。　　I　had　had　at　Forlaz　good



news　from　home；　I　was　subject　to　no　anxiety；　either　near　or



remote；　for　we　had　a　good　guide；　and　there　was　not　a　shadow　of



uncertainty　about　the　road　we　should　follow。　　I　can　best　describe



the　condition　in　which　I　was　by　calling　it　a　state　of



equilibrium。　　When　all　at　once　I　experienced　a　feeling　of　being



raised　above　myself；　I　felt　the　presence　of　GodI　tell　of　the



thing　just　as　I　was　conscious　of　itas　if　his　goodness　and　his



power　were　penetrating　me　altogether。　　The　throb　of　emotion　was



so　violent　that　I　could　barely　tell　the　boys　to　pass　on　and　not



wait　for　me。　　I　then　sat　down　on　a　stone；　unable　to　stand　any



longer；　and　my　eyes　overflowed　with　tears。　　I　thanked　God　that　in



the　course　of　my　life　he　had　taught　me　to　know　him；　that　he



sustained　my　life　and　took　pity　both　on　the　insignificant



creature　and　on　the　sinner　that　I　was。　　I　begged　him　ardently



that　my　life　might　be　consecrated　to　the　doing　of　his　will。　　I



felt　his　reply；　which　was　that　I　should　do　his　will　from　day　to



day　in　humility　and　poverty；　leaving　him；　the　Almighty　God；　to　be



judge　of　whether　I　should　some　time　be　called　to　bear　witness



more　conspicuously。　　Then；　slowly；　the　ecstasy　left　my　heart；



that　is；　I　felt　that　God　had　withdrawn　the　communion　which　he　had



granted；　and　I　was　able　to　walk　on；　but　very　slowly；　so　strongly



was　I　still　possessed　by　the　interior　emotion。　Besides；　I　had



wept　uninterruptedly　for　several　minutes；　my　eyes　were　swollen；



and　I　did　not　wish　my　companions　to　see　me。　　The　state　of　ecstasy



may　have　lasted　four　or　five　minutes；　although　it　seemed　at　the



time　to　last　much　longer。　　My　comrades　waited　for　me　ten　minutes



at　the　cross　of　Barine；　but　I　took　about　twenty…five　or　thirty



minutes　to　join　them；　for　as　well　as　I　can　remember；　they　said



that　I　had　kept　them　back　for　about　half　an　hour。　　The　impression



had　been　so　profound　that　in　climbing　slowly　the　slope　I　asked



myself　if　it　were　possible　that　Moses　on　Sinai　could　have　had　a



more　intimate　communication　with　God。　　I　think　it　well　to　add



that　in　this　ecstasy　of　mine　God　had　neither　form；　color；　odor；



nor　taste；　moreover；　that　the　feeling　of　his　presence　was



accompanied　with　no　determinate　localization。　It　was　rather　as　if



my　personality　had　been　transformed　by　the　presence　of　a



SPIRITUAL　SPIRIT。　　But　the　more　I　seek　words　to　express　this



intimate　intercourse；　the　more　I　feel　the　impossibility　of



describing　the　thing　by　any　of　our　usual　images。　　At　bottom　the



expression　most　apt　to　render　what　I　felt　is　this：　　God　was



present；　though　invisible；　he　fell　under　no　one　of　my　senses；　yet



my　consciousness　perceived　him。〃







The　adjective　〃mystical〃　is　technically　applied；　most　often。　to



states　that　are　of　brief　duration。　　Of　course　such　hours　of



rapture　as　the　last　two　persons　describe　are　mystical



experiences；　of　which　in　a　later　lecture　I　shall　have　much　to



say。　　Meanwhile　here　is　the　abridged　record　of　another　mystical



or　semi…mystical　experience；　in　a　mind　evidently　framed　by　nature



for　ardent　piety。　　I　owe　it　to　Starbuck's　collection。　　The　lady



who　gives　the　account　is　the　daughter　of　a　man　well　known　in　his



time　as　a　writer　against　Christianity。　　The　suddenness　of　her



conversion　shows　well　how　native　the　sense　of　God's　presence　must



be　to　certain　minds。　　She　relates　that　she　was　brought　up　in



entire　ignorance　of　Christian　doctrine；　but；　when　in　Germany；



after　being　talked　to　by　Christian　friends；　she　read　the　Bible



and　prayed；　and　finally　the　plan　of　salvation　flashed　upon　her



like　a　stream　of　light。







　〃To　this　day；〃　she　writes；　〃I　cannot　understand　dallying



with　religion　and　the　commands　of　God。　　The　very　instant　I　heard



my　Father's　cry　calling　unto　me；　my　heart　bounded　in　recognition。







I　ran；　I　stretched　forth　my　arms；　I　cried　aloud；　'Here；　here　I



am；　my　Father。'　Oh；　happy　child；　what　should　I　do？　　'Love　me；'



answered　my　God。　　'I　do；　I　do；'　I　cried　passionately。　'Come　unto



me；'　called　my　Father。　　'I　will；'　my　heart　panted。　　Did　I　stop　to



ask　a　single　question？　　Not　one。　　It　never　occurred　to　me　to　ask



whether　I　was　good　enough；　or　to　hesitate　over　my　unfitness；　or



to　find　out　what　I　thought　of　his　church；　or　。　。　。　to　wait　until



I　should　be　satisfied。　　Satisfied！　I　was　satisfied。　　Had　I　not



found　my　God　and　my　Father？　　Did　he　not　love　me？　　Had　he　not



called　me？　　Was　there　not　a　Church　into　which　I　might　enter？　　。　。



。　Since　then　I　have　had　direct　answers　to　prayerso　significant



as　to　be　almost　like　talking　with　God　and　hearing　his　answer。　



The　idea　of　God's　reality　has　never　left　me　for　one　moment。〃







Here　is　still　another　case；　the　writer　being　a　man　aged



twenty…seven；　in　which　the　experience；　probably　almost　as



characteristic；　is　less　vividly　described：







〃I　have　on　a　number　of　occasions　felt　that　I　had　enjoyed　a　period



of　intimate　communion　with　the　divine。　　These　meetings　came



unasked　and　unexpected；　and　seemed　to　consist　merely　in　the



temporary　obliteration　of　the　conventionalities　which　usually



surround　and　cover　my　life。　。　。　。　　Once　it　was　when　from　the



summit　of　a　high　mountain　I　looked　over　a　gashed　and　corrugated



landscape　extending　to　a　long　convex　of　ocean　that　ascended　to



the　horizon；　and　again　from　the　same　point　when　I　could　see



nothing　beneath　me　but　a　boundless　expanse　of　white　cloud；　on　the



blown　surface　of　which　a　few　high　peaks；　including　the　one　I　was



on；　seemed　plunging　about　as　if　they　were　dragging　their　anchors。







What　I　felt　on　these　occasions　was　a　temporary　loss　of　my　own



identity；　accompanied　by　an　illumination　which　revealed　to　me　a



deeper　significance　than　I　had　been　wont　to　attach　to　life。　　It



is　in　this　that　I　find　my　justification　for　saying　that　I　have



enjoyed　communication　with　God。　　Of　course　the　absence　of　such　a



being　as　this　would　be　chaos。　I　cannot　conceive　of　life　without



its　presence。〃







Of　the　more　habitual　and　so　to　speak　chronic　sense　of　God's



presence　the　following　sample　from　Professor　Starbuck's



manuscript　collection　may　serve　to　give　an　idea。　　It　is　from　a



man　aged　forty…nineprobably　thousands　of　unpretending



Christians　would　write　an　almost　identical　account。







〃God　is　more　real　to　me　than　any　thought　or　thing　or　person。　　I



feel　his　presence　positively；　and　the　more　as　I　live　in　closer



harmony　with　his　laws　as　written　in　my　body　and　mind。　　I　feel　him



in　the　sunshine　or　rain；　and　awe　mingled　with　a　delicious



restfulness　most　nearly　describes　my　feelings。　　I　talk　to　him　as



to　a　companion　in　prayer　and　praise；　and　our　communion　is



delightful。　　He　answers　me　again　and　again；　often　in　words　so



clearly　spoken　that　it　seems　my　outer　ear　must　have　carried　the



tone；　but　generally　in　strong　mental　impressions。　　Usually　a　text



of　Scripture；　unfolding　some　new　view　of　him　and　his　love　for　me；



and　care　for　my　safety。　　I　could　give　hundreds　of　instances；　in



school　matters；　social　problems；　financial　difficulties；　etc。　



That　he　is　mine　and　I　am　his　never　leaves　me；　it　is　an　abiding



joy。　　Without　it　life　would　be　a　blank；　a　desert；　a　shoreless；



trackless　waste。〃







I　subjoin　some　more　examples　from　writers　of