the frozen deep- 第7部分

Wardour　still　preserved　his　sullen　silence。　Crayford　noticed　him。
standing　apart　from　the　rest；　and　appealed　to　him　personally。

〃Do　you　say　nothing？〃　he　asked。

〃Nothing；〃　Wardour　answered。　〃Go　or　stay；　it's　all　one　to　me。〃

〃I　hope　you　don't　really　mean　that？〃　said　Crayford。

〃I　do。〃

〃I　am　sorry　to　hear　it；　Wardour。〃

Captain　Helding　answered　the　general　suggestion　in　favor　of
volunteering　by　a　question　which　instantly　checked　the　rising
enthusiasm　of　the　meeting。

〃Well；〃　he　said；　〃suppose　we　say　volunteers。　Who　volunteers　to
stop　in　the　huts？〃

There　was　a　dead　silence。　The　officers　and　men　looked　at　each
other　confusedly。　The　captain　continued：

〃You　see　we　can't　settle　it　by　volunteering。　You　all　want　to　go。
Every　man　among　us　who　has　the　use　of　his　limbs　naturally　wants
to　go。　But　what　is　to　become　of　those　who　have　not　got　the　use　of
their　limbs？　Some　of　us　must　stay　here；　and　take　care　of　the
sick。〃

Everybody　admitted　that　this　was　true。

〃So　we　get　back　again；〃　said　the　captain；　〃to　the　old
questionWho　among　the　able…bodied　is　to　go？　and　who　is　to　stay？
Captain　Ebsworth　says；　and　I　say；　let　chance　decide　it。　Here　are
dice。　The　numbers　run　as　high　as　twelvedouble　sixes。　All　who
throw　under　six；　stay；　all　who　throw　over　six；　go。　Officers　of
the　_Wanderer_　and　the　_Sea…mew_；　do　you　agree　to　that　way　of
meeting　the　difficulty？〃

All　the　officers　agreed；　with　the　one　exception　of　Wardour；　who
still　kept　silence。

〃Men　of　the　_Wanderer_　and　_Sea…mew_；　your　officers　agree　to　cast
lots。　Do　you　agree　too？〃

The　men　agreed　without　a　dissentient　voice。　Crayford　handed　the
box　and　the　dice　to　Captain　Helding。

〃You　throw　first；　sir。　Under　six；　'Stay。'　Over　six；　'Go。'〃

Captain　Helding　cast　the　dice；　the　top　of　the　cask　serving　for　a
table。　He　threw　seven。

〃Go；〃　said　Crayford。　〃I　congratulate　you；　sir。　Now　for　my　own
chance。〃　He　cast　the　dice　in　his　turn。　Three！〃　Stay！　Ah；　well！
well！　if　I　can　do　my　duty；　and　be　of　use　to　others；　what　does　it
matter　whether　I　go　or　stay？　Wardour；　you　are　next；　in　the
absence　of　your　first　lieutenant。〃

Wardour　prepared　to　cast；　without　shaking　the　dice。

〃Shake　the　box；　man！〃　cried　Crayford。　〃Give　yourself　a　chance　of
luck！〃

Wardour　persisted　in　letting　the　dice　fall　out　carelessly；　just
as　they　lay　in　the　box。

〃Not　I！〃　he　muttered　to　himself。　〃I've　done　with　luck。〃　Saying
those　words；　he　threw　down　the　empty　box；　and　seated　himself　on
the　nearest　chest；　without　looking　to　see　how　the　dice　had
fallen。

Crayford　examined　them。　〃Six！〃　he　exclaimed。　〃There！　you　have　a
second　chance；　in　spite　of　yourself。　You　are　neither　under　nor
overyou　throw　again。〃

〃Bah！〃　growled　the　Bear。　〃It's　not　worth　the　trouble　of　getting
up　for。　Somebody　else　throw　for　me。〃　He　suddenly　looked　at　Frank。
〃You！　you　have　got　what　the　women　call　a　lucky　face。〃

Frank　appealed　to　Crayford。　〃Shall　I？〃

〃Yes；　if　he　wishes　it；〃　said　Crayford。

Frank　cast　the　dice。　〃Two！　He　stays！　Wardour；　I　am　sorry　I　have
thrown　against　you。〃

〃Go　or　stay；〃　reiterated　Wardour；　〃it's　all　one　to　me。　You　will
be　luckier；　young　one；　when　you　cast　for　yourself。〃

Frank　cast　for　himself。

〃Eight。　Hurrah！　I　go！〃

〃What　did　I　tell　you？〃　said　Wardour。　〃The　chance　was　yours。　You
have　thriven　on　my　ill　luck。〃

He　rose；　as　he　spoke；　to　leave　the　hut。　Crayford　stopped　him。

〃Have　you　anything　particular　to　do；　Richard？〃

〃What　has　anybody　to　do　here？〃

〃Wait　a　little；　then。　I　want　to　speak　to　you　when　this　business
is　over。〃

〃Are　you　going　to　give　me　any　more　good　advice？〃

〃Don't　look　at　me　in　that　sour　way；　Richard。　I　am　going　to　ask
you　a　question　about　something　which　concerns　yourself。〃

Wardour　yielded　without　a　word　more。　He　returned　to　his　chest；
and　cynically　composed　himself　to　slumber。　The　casting　of　the
lots　went　on　rapidly　among　the　officers　and　men。　In　another
half…hour　chance　had　decided　the　question　of　〃Go〃　or　〃Stay〃　for
all　alike。　The　men　left　the　hut。　The　officers　entered　the　inner
apartment　for　a　last　conference　with　the　bed…ridden　captain　of
the　_Sea…mew_。　Wardour　and　Crayford　were　left　together；　alone。



Chapter　9。


Crayford　touched　his　friend　on　the　shoulder　to　rouse　him。　Wardour
looked　up；　impatiently；　with　a　frown。

〃I　was　just　asleep；〃　he　said。　〃Why　do　you　wake　me？〃

〃Look　round　you；　Richard。　We　are　alone。〃

〃Welland　what　of　that？〃

〃I　wish　to　speak　to　you　privately；　and　this　is　my　opportunity。
You　have　disappointed　and　surprised　me　to…day。　Why　did　you　say　it
was　all　one　to　you　whether　you　went　or　stayed？　Why　are　you　the
only　man　among　us　who　seems　to　be　perfectly　indifferent　whether
we　are　rescued　or　not？〃

〃Can　a　man　always　give　a　reason　for　what　is　strange　in　his　manner
or　his　words？〃　Wardour　retorted。

〃He　can　try；〃　said　Crayford；　quietly〃when　his　friend　asks　him。〃

Wardour's　manner　softened。

〃That's　true；〃　he　said。　〃I　_will_　try。　Do　you　remember　the　first
night　at　sea　when　we　sailed　from　England　in　the　_Wanderer_？〃

〃As　well　as　if　it　was　yesterday。〃

〃A　calm；　still　night；〃　the　other　went　on；　thoughtfully。　〃No
clouds；　no　stars。　Nothing　in　the　sky　but　the　broad　moon；　and
hardly　a　ripple　to　break　the　path　of　light　she　made　in　the　quiet
water。　Mine　was　the　middle　watch　that　night。　You　cam　e　on　deck；
and　found　me　alone〃

He　stopped。　Crayford　took　his　hand；　and　finished　the　sentence　for
him。

〃Aloneand　in　tears。〃

〃The　last　I　shall　ever　shed；〃　Wardour　added；　bitterly。

〃Don't　say　that！　There　are　times　when　a　man　is　to　be　pitied
indeed；　if　he　can　shed　no　tears。　Go　on；　Richard。〃

Wardour　proceededstill　following　the　old　recollections；　still
preserving　his　gentler　tones。

〃I　should　have　quarreled　with　any　other　man　who　had　surprised　me
at　that　moment；〃　he　said。　〃There　was　something；　I　suppose；　in
your　voice　when　you　asked　my　pardon　for　disturbing　me；　that
softened　my　heart。　I　told　you　I　had　met　with　a　disappointment
which　had　broken　me　for　life。　There　was　no　need　to　explain
further。　The　only　hopeless　wretchedness　in　this　world　is　the
wretchedness　that　women　cause。〃

〃And　the　only　unalloyed　happiness；〃　said　Crayford；　〃the　happiness
that　women　bring。〃

〃That　may　be　your　experience　of　them；〃　Wardour　answered；　〃mine　is
different。　All　the　devotion；　the　patience；　the　humility；　the
worship　that　there　is　in　man；　I　laid　at　the　feet　of　a　woman。　She
accepted　the　offering　as　women　doaccepted　it；　easily；
gracefully；　unfeelinglyaccepted　it　as　a　matter　of　course。　I
left　England　to　win　a　high　place　in　my　profession；　before　I　dared
to　win　_her_。　I　braved　danger；　and　faced　death。　I　staked　my　life
in　the　fever　swamps　of　Africa；　to　gain　the　promotion　that　I　only
desired　for　her　sakeand　gained　it。　I　came　back　to　give　her　all；
and　to　ask　nothing　in　return；　but　to　rest　my　weary　heart　in　the
sunshine　of　her　smile。　And　her　own　lipsthe　lips　I　had　kissed　at
partingtold　me　that　another　man　had　robbed　me　of　her。　I　spoke
but　few　words　when　I　heard　that　confession；　and　left　her　forever。
'The　time　may　come；'　I　told　her；　'when　I　shall　forgive　_you_。　But
the　man　who　has　robbed　me　of　you　shall　rue　the　day　when　you　and
he　first　met。'　Don't　ask　me　who　he　was！　I　have　yet　to　discover
him。　The　treachery　had　been　kept　secret；　nobody　could　tell　me
where　to　find　him；　nobody　could　tell　me　who　he　was。　What　did　it
matter？　When　I　had　lived　out　the　first　agony；　I　could　rely　on
myselfI　could　be　patient；　and　bide　my　time。〃

〃Your　time？　What　time？〃

〃The　time　when　I　and　that　man　shall　meet　face　to　face。　I　knew　it
then；　I　know　it　nowit　was　written　on　my　heart　then；　it　is
written　on　my　heart　nowwe　two　shall　meet　and　know　each　other！
With　that　conviction　strong　within　me；　I　volunteered　for　this
service；　as　I　would　have　volunteered　for　anything　that　set　work
and　hardship　and　danger；　like　ramparts；　between　my　misery　and　me。
With　that　conviction　strong　within　me　still；　I　tell　you　it　is　no
matter　whether　I　stay　here　with　the　sick；　or　go　hence　with　the
strong。　I　shall　live　till　I　have　met　that　man！　There　is　a　day　of
reckoning　appointed　between　us。　Here　in　the　freezing　cold；　or
away　in　the　deadly　heat；　in　battle　or　in　shipwreck；　in　the　face
of　starvation；　under　the　shadow　of　pestilenceI；　though　hundreds
are　falling　round　me；　I　shall　live！　live　for　the　coming　of　one
day！　live　for　the　meeting　with　one　man！〃

He　stopped；　trembling；　body　and　soul；　under　the　hold　that　his　own
terrible　superstition　had　fastened　on　him。　Crayford　drew　back　in
silent　horror。　Wardour　noticed　the　actionhe　resented　ithe
appealed；　in　defense　of　his　one　cherished　conviction；　to
Crayford's　own　experience　of　him。

〃Look　at　me！〃　he　cried。　〃Look　how　I　have　lived　and　thriven；　with
the　heart…ache　gnawing　at　me　at　home；　and　the　winds　of　the　icy
north　whistling　round　me　here！　I　am　the　strongest　man　among　you。
Why？　I　have　fought　through　hardships　that　have　laid　the
best…seasoned　men　of　all　our　party　on　their　backs。　Why？　What　have
_I_　done；　that　my　life　should　throb　as　bravely　through　every　vein
in　my　body　at　this　minute；　and　in　this　deadly　place；　as　ever　it
did　in　the　wholesome　breezes　of　home？　What　am　I　preserved　for？　I
tell　you　again；　for　the　coming　of　one　dayfor　the　meeting　with
one　man。〃

He　paused　once　more。　This　time　Crayford　spoke。

〃Richard！〃　he　said；　〃since　we　first　met；　I　have　believed　in　your
better　nature；　against　all　outward　appearance。　I　have　believed　in
you；　firmly；　truly；　as　your　brother　might。　You　are　putting　that
belief　to　a　hard　test。　If　your　enemy　had　told　me　that　you　had
ever　talked　as　you　talk　now；　that　you　had　ever　looked　as　you　look
now；　I　would　have　turned　my　back　on　him　as　the　utterer　of　a　vile
calumny　against　a　just；　a　brave；　an　upright　man。　Oh！　my　friend；
my　friend；　if　ever　I　have　deserved　well　of　you；　put　away　these
thoughts　from　your　heart！　Face　me　again；　with　the　stainless　look
of　a　man　who　has　trampled　under　his　feet　the　bloody　superstitions
of　revenge；　and　knows　them　no　more！　Never；　never；　let　the　time
come　when　I　cannot　offer　you　my　hand　as　I　offer　it　now；　to　the
man　I　can　still　admireto　the　brother　I　can　still　love！〃

The　heart　that　no　other　voice　could　touch　felt　that　appeal。　The
fierce　eyes；　the　hard　voice；　softened　under　Crayford's　influence。
Richard　Ward