truth was ground into the powder of pious small talk。 This result
was not pleasant either to Harry or to Euphra。 Euphra； with her
life threatening to go to ruin about her； was crying out for him who
made the soul of man； 〃who loved us into being；〃2 and who alone can
renew the life of his children； and in such words as those a
scoffing demon seemed to mock at her needs。 Harry had the natural
dislike of all childlike natures to everything formal； exclusive；
and unjust。 But； having received nothing of what is commonly called
a religious training； this advantage resulted from his new
experiences in Mrs。 Elton's family； that a good direction was given
to his thoughts by the dislike which he felt to such utterances。
More than this： a horror fell upon him lest these things should be
true； lest the mighty All of nature should be only a mechanism；
without expression and without beauty； lest the God who made us
should be like us only in this； that he too was selfish and mean and
proud； lest his ideas should resemble those that inhabit the brain
of a retired money…maker； or of an arbitrary monarch claiming a
divine rightinstead of towering as the heavens over the earth；
above the loftiest moods of highest poet； most generous child； or
most devoted mother。 I do not mean that these thoughts took these
shapes in Harry's mind； but that his feelings were such as might
have been condensed into such thoughts； had his intellect been more
mature。
One morning； the passage of scripture which Mrs。 Elton read was the
story of the young man who came to Jesus； and went away sorrowful；
because the Lord thought so well of him； and loved him so heartily；
that he wanted to set him free from his riches。 A great portion of
the homily was occupied with proving that the evangelist could not
possibly mean that Jesus loved the young man in any pregnant sense
of the word； but merely meant that Jesus 〃felt kindly disposed
towards him〃felt a poor little human interest in him； in fact； and
did not love him divinely at all。
Harry's face was in a flame all the time she was reading。 When the
service was overand a bond service it was for Euphra and himthey
left the room together。 As soon as the door was shut； he burst out：
〃I say； Euphra！ Wasn't that a shame？ They would have Jesus as bad
as themselves。 We shall have somebody writing a book next to prove
that after all Jesus was a Pharisee。〃
〃Never mind；〃 said the heart…sore； sceptical Euphra； 〃never mind；
Harry； it's all nonsense。〃
〃No； it's not all nonsense。 Jesus did love the young man。 I
believe the story itself before all the Doctors of Divinity in the
world。 He loves all of us； he doeswith all his heart； too。〃
〃I hope so；〃 was all she could reply； but she was comforted by
Harry's vehement confession of faith。
Euphra was so far softened； or perhaps weakened； by suffering； that
she yielded many things which would have seemed impossible before。
One of these was that she went to church with Mrs。 Elton； where
that lady hoped she would get good to her soul。 Harry of course was
not left behind。 The church she frequented was a fashionable one；
with a vicar more fashionable still； for had he left that church；
more than half his congregation； which consisted mostly of ladies；
would have left it also； and followed him to the ends of London。 He
was a middle…aged man； with a rubicund countenance； and a gentle
familiarity of manner； that was exceedingly pleasing to the
fashionable sheep who； conscious that they had wandered from the
fold； were waiting with exemplary patience for the barouches and
mail…phaetons of the skies to carry them back without the trouble of
walking。 Alas for them！ they have to learn that the chariots of
heaven are chariots of fire。
The Sunday morning following the conversation I have just recorded；
the clergyman's sermon was devoted to the illustration of the
greatness and condescension of the Saviour。 After a certain amount
of tame excitement expended upon the consideration of his power and
kingdom； one passage was wound up in this fashion：
〃Yes； my friends； even her most gracious Majesty； Queen Victoria；
the ruler over millions diverse in speech and in hue； to whom we all
look up with humble submission； and whom we acknowledge as our
sovereign ladyeven she； great as she is； adds by her homage a
jewel to his crown； and； hailing him as her Lord； bows and renders
him worship！ Yet this is he who comes down to visit； yea； dwells
with his own elect； his chosen ones； whom he has led back to the
fold of his grace。〃
For some reason； known to himself； Falconer had taken Hugh； who had
gone to him according to appointment that morning； to this same
church。 As they came out； Hugh said：
〃Mr。…is quite proud of the honour done his master by the queen。〃
〃I do not think；〃 answered Falconer； 〃that his master will think so
much of it； for he once had his feet washed by a woman that was a
sinner。〃
The homily which Mrs。 Elton read at prayers that evening； bore upon
the same subject nominally as the chapter that preceded itthat of
election； a doctrine which in the Bible asserts the fact of God's
choosing certain persons for the specific purpose of receiving
first； and so communicating the gifts of his grace to the whole
world； but which； in the homily referred to； was taken to mean the
choice of certain persons for ultimate salvation； to the exclusion
of the rest。 They were sitting in silence after the close； when
Harry started up suddenly； saying： 〃I don't want God to love me； if
he does not love everybody；〃 and； bursting into tears； hurried out
of the room。 Mrs。 Elton was awfully shocked at his wickedness。
Euphra； hastened after him； but he would not return； and went
supperless to bed。 Euphra； however； carried him some supper。 He
sat up in bed and ate it with the tears in his eyes。 She kissed
him； and bade him good night； when； just as she was leaving the
room； he broke out with：
〃But only think； Euphra； if it should be true！ I would rather not
have been made。〃
〃It is not true；〃 said Euphra； in whom a faint glimmer of faith in
God awoke for the sake of the boy whom she lovedawoke to comfort
him； when it would not open its eyes for herself。 〃No； Harry dear；
if there is a God at all； he is not like that。〃
〃No； he can't be；〃 said Harry； vehemently； and with the brightness
of a sudden thought； 〃for if he were like that； he wouldn't be a God
worth being； and that couldn't be； you know。〃
Euphra knelt by her bedside； and prayed more hopefully than for many
days before。 She prayed that God would let her know that he was not
an idol of man's invention。
Till friendly sleep came； and untied the knot of care； both Euphra
and Harry lay troubled with things too great for them。 Even in
their sleep； the care would gather again； and body itself into
dreams。 The first thought that visited Harry when he awoke； was the
memory of his dream： that he died and went to heaven； that heaven
was a great church just like the one Mrs。 Elton went to； only
larger； that the pews were filled with angels； so crowded together
that they had to tuck up their wings very close indeedand Harry
could not help wondering what they wanted them for； that they were
all singing psalms； that the pulpit by a little change had been
converted into a throne； on which sat God the Father； looking very
solemn and severe； that Jesus was seated in the reading…desk；
looking very sad； and that the Holy Ghost sat on the clerk's desk；
in the shape of a white dove； that a cherub； whose face reminded him
very much of a policeman he knew； took him by the shoulder for
trying to pluck a splendid green feather out of an archangel's wing；
and led him up to the throne； where God shook his head at him in
such a dreadful way； that he was terrified； and then stretched out
his hand to lay hold on him； that he shrieked with fear； and that
Jesus put out his hand and lifted him into the reading…desk； and hid
him down below。 And there Harry lay； feeling so safe； stroking and
kissing the feet that had been weary and wounded for him； till； in
the growing delight of the thought that he actually held those feet；
he came awake and remembered it all。 Truly it was a childish dream；
but not without its own significance。 For surely the only refuge
from heathenish representations of God under Christian forms； the
only refuge from man's blinding and paralysing theories； from the
dead wooden shapes substituted for the living forms of human love
and hope and aspiration； from the interpretations which render
scripture as dry as a speech in Chancerysurely the one refuge from
all these awful evils is the Son of man； for no misrepresentation
and no misconception can destroy the beauty of that face which the
marring of sorrow has elevated into the region of reality； beyond
the marring of irreverent speculation and scholastic definition。
》From the God of man's painting； we turn to the man of God's being；
and he leads us to the true God； the radiation of whose glory we
first see in him。 Happy is that man who has a glimpse of this； even
in a dream such as Harry's！a dream in other respects childish and
incongruous； but not more absurd than the instruction whence it
sprung。
But the troubles returned with the day。 Prayers revived them。 He
sought Euphra in her room。
〃They say I must repent and be sorry for my sins；〃 said he。 〃I have
been trying very hard； but I can't think of any； except once that I
gave Gog〃 （his Welsh pony） 〃such a beating because he would go where
I didn't want him。 But he's forgotten it long ago； and I gave him
two feeds of corn after it； and so somehow I can't feel very sorry
now。 What shall I do？But that's not what I mind most。 It always
seems to me it would be so much grander of God to say： 'Come along；
never mind。 I'll make you good。 I can't wait till you are good； I
love you so much。'〃
His own words were too much for Harry； and he burst into tears at
the thought of God being so kind。 Euphra； instead of trying to
comfort him； cried too。 Thus they continued for some time； Harry
with his head on her knees； and she kindly fondling it with her
distressed hands。 Harry was the